Love & Hate || Nishimura Riki ✓

confession

It's almost one month after Hae Jin accepted Jay's love for her and she's getting more anxious as their relationship grows longer . Her and Jake's secret deal was haunting her that she can't take it anymore but she doesn't know how to tell it to her lover . She really wanted to tell it to him but afraid that Jay might lose his trust on her or might look at her differently . She's so afraid .

Ever since they became a couple , both of them decided not to hide any secrets to each other . By that , Jay knew that her mom severely sick due to cancer . She hides the fact that Jake had helped her for her mom's medications and therapy multiple times in exchange of their secret deal .

But for the record , Hae Jin didn't do anything aside from keeping her friendship with Ni-ki . Ni-ki was the one who first made a move for them to be friends . She didn't even had an effort to it . She didn't made him fall for her , she doesn't even try in the first place . Because she knows Ni-ki's heart was for Shaira and no one else . Instead , she just accepted Jay's love for her because she also loves him dearly .

It wasn't her intention to get Jay's attention , but as months passes by .. she fells that Jay was so sincere in pursuing her . Yes , she had a crush at Jay ever since the day they first met . He was her knight in shining armor , her saviour .. She owes him big time but aside from that , she admires Jay for who he is .

He's that guy that you would feel comfortable and safe whenever he's by your side . He's so reliable and she loves him for that . He has a kind and soft heart for the poor , he doesn't think of himself high . Even he is from a well-known and wealthy family , he's still keeping his feet on the ground . That's how she fells for him , because he's so genuine .

But even though she knows Jay would try to understand her if she tells him her secret , there's a bit hesitation growing inside her heart .

What if he'll hate her ? What if he'll push her away after she confessed ? She's only thinking the negative come out .

Also there's another problem , it's Ni-ki . He is a dear friend to Hae Jin and she doesn't want to hurt him if he'll know about it . He once pushed away his most loved person .. he could do that again especially to her because she's just a friend , a new known friend . She doesn't want to broke Ni-ki's trust but she didn't predicted that they'll gonna be this close in the end .

All she thinks that time when she and Jake made this deal was her mom .. She doesn't think of what it may result in the end . She doesn't even think that she might hurt someone's feelings .

She's now at Jay's apartment fidgeting her hand as she look anxiously at Jay who's cooking carbonara , her favorite .

Jay invited her today because it's their monthsary celebration and the girl was so tired of their classy dates so instead of going to those , they'll just going to celebrate it in Jay's apartment and just cook it himself .

"love , are you okay ? You've been so quiet " Jay asked her while boiling some water for the pasta .

" I'm okay love " she couldn't make an eye contact ..

Jay looked at her girlfriend who's forcing herself to not look at him in the eyes . ' What is her problem ?' He asked in his mind then a thought suddenly crossed his mind

" oh my gosh .. love , are you thinking of something that might happen after the date ? " He shamelessly asked his girlfriend who's still playing with her fingers . He thinks of their last date that he also brought Hae Jin in his apartment where they almost do that thing . Good thing both of them come into their senses and stopped it before it's too late .

" No ! I mean .. I'm not thinking about that " she defended herself because it was not the thing that's invading her mind right now .. She looked away from her boyfriend blushing as she remembered their last date where she almost gave herself to him