• Smooth Criminal • Sebastian Smythe-BOOK ONE✔

f i f t y - t w o

Everybody satin the choir room as Mr. Schue wrote 'NATIONALS' on the whiteboard, Sue standing to the side. "Nationals." Everyone clapped and cheered loudly at the word.

Mr. Schuester grinned, quieting the group down. "Okay, song selection: We'll be kicking off our 'Vintage' theme with the legendary Jim Steinman's 'Paradise by the Dashboard Light.' Rachel will do the solo, 'It's All Com'...." Mr. Schue was forced to stop when Rachel finished it for him, speaking excitedly.

"'Coming Back to Me Now.' One of Celine Dion's most powerful ballads, inspired by Wuthering Heights." She spoke happily.

"And we'll be working in a new Trouble Tones number, utilizing the talents of our featured performer, Porcelina Hummel." Everyone looked confused at Sue's words, looking between her and Kurt.

The boy shook his head. "Not gonna happen, Dragon Lady."

Sue chuckled. "Oh, you'll do as you're told, he/she. We will be performing 'What A Feeling,' from Flashdance, and I'm familiar with the choreography, of course, because I was Jennifer Beals' dance double. And on that note, please look under your seats." Everyone did as sue said, pulling out a white box with silver helmets and bright red leg warmers.

"Space helmets." Brittany gasped.

"Welding helmets and leg warmers?!" Finn said correctly, his voice both surprised and questioning.

"Best way to get props is to use props." Sue simply explained.

Sam put on the helmet, turning to Joe. "I am your father." He said in a Darth Vader-like voice. "Uh, Darth Vader." He clarified to a confused Joe, who didn't recognise the reference.

"Is that a movie?" He asked, confused out of his mind. Marina chuckled at his obliviousness.

"A healthy dose of props, and our plucky transsexual Porcelina, and you are over the top." Sue explained, pointing to the helmets, then pointing at Kurt, who rolled his eyes.

"Aren't props a little cheesy?" Artie questioned, his voice holding a judging tone.

Mr. Schue stood from where he was leaning against the piano. "Guys, I've asked for Sue's help because she's a winner, and I'm not ashamed to admit this I want to win. But there's not one person in that audience who will think we're anything but underdogs who would be lucky to place in Nationals. We didn't even make the top ten last year. We've got one last week to come together and shake things up. If there's anyone here who is not up for trying and working their butts off, you should just get up right now and leave."

Then, Tina stood. "Whoa, whoa, Tina, where you going?" Finn asked, confused, and alarmed.

"You guys don't need me- carry on." The girl turned on her heels, glaring at both Finn and Rachel.

"Tina, you don't understand. I need this." Rachel said, putting her hands to her heart.

"Ah, yes, because everything is about Rachel Berry." Marna whispered to Arabella.

"Because you blew an audition? That's not a reason for you to get a solo at Nationals. Maybe the rest of us would like one, too." Tina refuted.

Rory nodded in agreement. "I wouldn't mind another one before I get deported."

"I want one. Even though I can't sing." Sugar agreed.

"I sure as hell would like one." Both Marina and Arabella said, each placing a hand on their hips.

"Tina, Rachel is a senior." Mike said to the girl.

"So are you, but you can bet the only thing you'll be doing is a dance break with Brittany. Other people matter." Tina exclaimed.

"Tina, you may not always get all the solos, but you are a key player. I put you in charge of costumes." Mr. Schue said to the girl.

Tina scoffed. "Wow! Like that's some prize." Marina and Arabella made a sound of disgust. "Marina and Arabella take care of costumes anyway! It's the only reason they're here!"

"It's true- Schuester, you've basically pushed Tina aside once again." Arabella muttered.

"You want props to move around? Well, I'm a human prop, and I'm sick of it!" The girl angrily exclaimed.

"Take a lap and cool down, Asian Number One." Sue said calmly.

Tina growled in frustration. "My name is Tina. Tina Cohen Chang!" She then stormed out of the room, Mike following after her.

Sue gave Mr. Schue a look. "Isn't she the one who used to stutter?"

Later, everyone was practicing in the auditorium. Set with the masks and leg warmers, everyone moved into starting position before Sue began to shout. "A-five, six, seven, eight. Mask, mask, helmet down. Pivot, pivot. Jump, mask, boys. A-one, two, three, four, five, six. Burn! Burn! Burn! Come on! Let it burn! Set this joint on fire! Come on, burn the joint down! Okay, cut the music. Stop! Stop." Sue said commandingly as everyone failed to do the routine properly, sparks flying everywhere and the masks weighing them down.

"This is an unmitigated disaster. Jennifer Beals is spinning in her grave. Gentlemen, I asked for a cascade of sparks timed to the rhythm." Sue stated.

Mike lifted his mask up onto his head. "I can't see through this helmet."

"I took mine off. Metal sparks in your face is how you get freckles." Brittany stated, incorrectly.

"Is this even legal?" Blaine asked Sue, a tone of curiosity in his voice.

"Yeah, shouldn't we be in some sort of grinding union?" Sam asked, an eyebrow hopefully raised.

"Wanky." Santana smirked.

"Sue, they're right. They can't pick up advanced choreography when they're weighed down by helmets and metal grinders." Mr. Schue agreed with the group.

"Grind, grind, pivot, kick, pivot, spin, flip, split. What's complicated about that?" Sue asked, confused.

"These props were supposed to add to the routine, not be the routine." Mr. Schuester stated.

"Well, maybe you're right, William. Maybe basic sheet metal work is just too much for your 12th place choir." She then turned to Kurt. "Porcelain, thoughts?"

He sighed. "I'm not doing a drag number. We need a new approach. I have an idea."

"And anyways, the outfits are only waiting to be worn." Marina stated, "So, if you think they're going to waste, think again."