R, R & RR

Another monologue

Hello my ducklings!
How are you?
I 'm the same as always

  In this chapter let's talk about bullying! I 'm not gonna start talking about how bad bullying is because you have probably heard that a million times. At least in my country the teachers rant at us about how bad bullying is in school from the age of six.
Instead I m going to tell you my personal experiences. Don't worry it wasn't something very serious and I was little so I don't remember vey much. However it still made me sad and uncomfortable at least.
   As you already have understood it's going to be a long chapter with me and other people you don't know so I don't think you will find it very interesting. I just wanted to write it down for some reason so here it is... Hmm if you want you can move on to the next chapter I suppose...

  Okay let's start with the stories now.
First of all I was bullied in kindergarten. So my class consisted of other 5 girls and some boys of which I remember 6. Anyway it's difficult to expect from a 5-year-old girl who played with Barbies to hang out with the boys, so I played with the girls. Now there were two different groups in the girls part. The one consisted of two friends who wouldn't let me become the third. Meaning that I asked the one "Do you want to be friends" and she said "I already have one friend". It was so annoying when children did this! Like what if you have 1 friend can't you make another??
  Anyway, the other group consisted of me and other 3 girls. One of them was the "leader" who told what game we would play and who would do what. The other one was her best friend who was the only person who didn't tease me. And I don't have much to say about the third.
   So, all those didn't treat me well. For instance, I remember that I had once fell and it had hurt me so I started crying. They were standing there in a snob kind of way and the "leader" was telling me "So what will you do when you fall and your boyfriend will catch you? Will you cry? Will you say 'thank you'? No you must slap him and tell him that he shouldn't have done it". We are talking about frickin' 5-year-olds who talk about their future boyfriends!
  I had also gone through a phase during which I found the colour black fascinating. The "leader" was asking everyone what's their favourite colour and then proceeded to describe to them their imaginary, super-amazing dress based on that colour. When my turn came I said black. She just looked at me like I was an alien for a while, didn't say anything and then moved on to the next person in the row.
In addition, they all were obsessed with Winx Club apart from me (who got obsessed some years later) and it was one of these times when we would play Winx. And the third girl (the one I didn't tell you much about) said "She (meaning me) must be a boy because she has snot (i m not sure if this is the right word?)" That was awful because I have a small problem with my nose and especially during kindergarten I couldn't breathe well. Did she have any idea how it was for me to not be able to breathe at all from the nose and have people telling me stuff like this??? I remeber this just because it was the only time the "leader" supported me.
  I 'm Christian while the "leader" and her bestie didn't believe in God. That's okay. Everyone must be able to have their own beliefs. The problem was that they both had come to me and were telling me some really weird and creepy stuff. More specifically they told me that when I die I will be still thinking in my coffin and I will be regreting that I believed in God. Thanfully I didn't take them seriously

That was only the first part of the chapter. It wasn't that serious since they didn't do very bad things. Also, I was silly when I was 5 years old so I admired the "leader" and wasn't aware that she was kind of bullying me. The next occasion I was bullied was much more tormentful for me.

  Two of my classmates in kindergarten were two twin boys. In the school bus, there was a little girl (younger of all the others) that was being bullied way worse than me. All the kids in the school bus teased her by chanting teasing melodies. And when I say "all" I mean all -even her own sister!
Dear reader who decided to read this, I was the only one who didn't. Instead I was sitting next to her and tried to comfort and support her.
  These twins I mentioned before teased me unmercifully! I don't remember what exactly they were doing but I was suffering. I just remember an image of me crying and those two laughing. At some point, they told me that they would stop, if I stopped supporting the little girl.
And I did. I don't remember if I just stopped supporting her of if I started bully her along with the other kids, but I still feel guilty and ashamed! Believe me, I feel terrible and I still hate those twins for making me do this!

This is I think the worst occasion of all the times I had been bullied. And you know the twins don't even remember how much they made me suffer, now. I was with them AND the third girl from the group in the same drama class. I was with the twins in the same art class for one year too. They were telling "smart" jokes like "when we go to the mountain, she (not telling names but I mean the other girl in the class. She was a bunch of years younger than us and I loved her 'cause she was so sweet and adorable)
will fall from exhaustion in the first step. She (me) will fall from exhaustion right before we reach the peak and the only ones that will manage will be us".
  Fortunately, I had learned by then that bullies are not to be taken seriously. They are just kids who (sometimes because of their own problems) try to make themselves feel better by making the others feel worse than they really are, instead of trying to improve. I know now that these twins are just two kids who see the world through the sphere of their selfishness and not as it really is. So don't let bullies take control of your emotions. No matter what they do or say, ignore them because you are not the one with the problem. They are.

  I had been bullied other times too. It just didn't make feel as bad as in kidergarten. For example, in first grade of primary school (but I don't remember anything) or later in fourth grade when all the boys of my class plus one girl were calling me (you know chanting teasing melodies) "Santa Claus" because I had a colourful cap...? I still haven't understood why. Or later in fifth grade in summer I had a "friend" who was telling me all the time how weird I was that I didn't wear black clothes and I didn't listened to rap. Oh she also said that because of these mentioned above nobody would want to be friends with me in secondary school. The only result this had was that I now hate rap.

That was part of my story of my life.
(Not that anyone would care)
And here is the end of the rant! I will make an interesting smash or pass/spam in the next chapter so I hope I will see you there!

For now take that awesome song and amire Joey's hair 'cause they are perfection:

Cherokee -Europe