The Alien Review Shop

Aria

Title of the book: Aria

Chapters Read: 10

Genre: Sci-fi

Author: Chloe_Roissere

Reviewer: TheAlien09

1. Title: 10/10

It's just one word, but it's enough. The writer knew what she was doing when she chose the name of the supernatural entity, also the protagonist of the story as the title. Attention-grabbing and intriguing, it has it all. I can't say much else about it. Wait, I can say something more- it is pretty. 

2. Cover: 8/10

It's perfectly representative of the plot and the theme. The font of the text could be better. And I'll have to confess that the previous cover (in red and black) looked better. 

3. Blurb/ Description: 9/10

The thought put into the creation of the blurb pays off. It gives us what to expect, yet leaves a feeling of wonder and dread as we read the last few lines. Creatively put together, it caters to the needs of a reader. The conflicts that the mystic, paranormal Aria will encounter are established and the plot is laid out. One small problem would the unnecessary commas and capital letters. The blurb can be made concise and tightened to make it better. 

4. Grammar/ Spellings/ Punctuations: 16/20

As per request, I will not focus much on very specific grammatical errors but here are a few recurring ones. This is a mistake I see a number of Wattpad writers make- the tense mishap. The past and present together.  And then there is the issue of punctuations. Sometimes, there are commas where they are not needed, and then, there are none where they are. Light editing will help. 

5. Writing Style: 8/10

Personally, I loved your writing style. All the characters' points of view were distinct and the way you described the settings and events was beautiful. But you can always better your skills so that there are minimal technical errors. Here are a few tips:

1. Whenever a new speaker has dialogue, switch paragraphs. This is very important as it increases both the fluidity and clarity of the text. This isn't a problem for the most part, but sometimes a number of dialogues are put in a single para. It is an area to spend a little time on if you can spare some.

2. Show, don't tell.  A lot of the time, I see you "telling" the reader what the characters are feeling and what is happening. For example, "he looked with disgust", or "his face showed compassion". Instead, show the reader how he sneered, how his lips curled, or how his hard features softened with the allying of the tension in his face. You get my point, right? 

3. Break-up the paragraphs. It is the choice of the writer what length the paragraphs will be, but I generally suggest people keep them on the shorter end unless there is a specific reason for leaving them long.

4. You can do away with excess descriptions. Unless the place or event you are describing is essential to the plot or the character, skip it. An example of excess descriptions would be the description of the movie premiere in 'Chapter 2: The Arrival'. The reader could do without the details of the vending and the couches. I struggle with keeping my own descriptions short given the appeal of flowy beautiful and unnecessary specifications.

6. Organisation and development/ Pace/ Cliff hangers/ Character Development: 8/10

The story was well-paced. There were no cliff-hangers, so to say, but they weren't needed. So, that worked out. The characters and the plot were well-developed.  

Total: 59/70

I absolutely loved the plot. The interesting natural (and supernatural) phenomena along with their implications on the world that is created made for a beautiful storyline. 

That's all.

Please tell me if you found anything helpful. I only have one aim in mind and that is to see my fellow aspiring writers improve. You have great potential. The plot is especially intriguing, and your personality makes the writing better. Wishing you luck in all your present and future writing endeavors. And life in general.

Yours otherworldly,

The Alien Writer