The Alien Review Shop

Of Death and Dreams

Book Title: Of Death and Dreams 

Genre: Low Fantasy/Adventure/Dark Magic 

Author: lynnolise 

 Chapters: 7 (Ongoing) 

Reviewed by: NefertitiFenison 

 Notes: The author has requested that I also give specific attention to narrative flow, pacing, and whether there are parts that make readers bored or confused. I will proceed accordingly. 

 Narrative Flow: 

The narrative flow is great so far, neither too slow nor too fast. In the introduction after the prelude about God making a mistake with letting a diabolist live (and may I add that I like how the created wants to challenge the creator?), readers are introduced to a professor, Richard O'Connell, who studies demonology and is trying to free someone known as "the mad king" from a pyramid-like palace. 

Pace:

The pace of the introductory chapter is set up to be action-oriented and I feel it is appropriate for your genre as it works to keep your readers on the edge of their seat. You wonderfully established your characterization of the mad king and now readers have a glimpse of how dangerous he is and what motivates him to be such a force to behold. When you enter the main story, the first chapter starts slowly but in this case, it is a necessity since you are juggling between a dream sequence and a real-life sequence. You have done a good job balancing the two, but I suggest you use italics for the dream sequence to make it easier to distinguish from the real-life part. The next few chapters have a quicker pace because the story demands it as readers are thrown into the heart of the conflicts. All in all, your narrative flow and pacing are suitable for your book. If you can consistently keep the balance between actions and dialogues (as I know you will when you continue to write and update the book), then you are golden.

Clarity:

I did not find your book boring. Far from it! The story is different from the mythology I am used too and it is refreshing to see that you do not use cliché or common tropes. I like that the bulk of the story so far happens in the human realm, specifically in a university. Having your characters as college students makes them more relatable, especially if you target young adults. 

 I didn't have any confusion about your story but I can understand how it can be confusing. You are leading your readers into unfamiliar territory with the lore of Shaytaan/Satan and, while you have done your best to build your world, it remains to be seen whether your book is a loose re-interpretation and modern re-imagining of how the Bible depicts the devil or if it is not biblically inspired whatsoever. Maybe you can have an explanation of the inspiration behind your story? It's optional but it might help manage your readers' expectations and assumptions. 

 Now, onto the meat of the review...

 First Impression: My first impression upon reading the blurb was that I could expect an intense and diabolical story full of mystery, investigations into demon lore, fight against good and evil, as well as premonitions and prophecies. As it turns out, I wasn't disappointed! I really love the last line of the blurb, "for one who dethrones the king must face its consequences", it has a foreboding aura. I appreciate that the writer has a dedicated page solely for content/trigger warning. Thank you for being frank and sugarcoating nothing because, yes, there are readers who would rather not read about violence and gore, especially not in an opening chapter. 

 The cover is superb. I really like the subtitle "A Tragic Past. A Revenge. A Love Story Written in Blood" that gives off an ominous vibe. I assume the trees form a face from a certain angle?

Narrative hook: Your hook is clear even from the blurb and I applaud you for that since it is rare to find a blurb that encapsulates the story it promotes. You have promised readers a story of a girl who sees troubling stuff in her dreams and a boy who seeks some answers about the said dreams and you deliver. You present your story exactly as the blurb has indicated. 

 Plot progression: The plot seems to be character-driven for the most part, with Vera's and Kai's decisions impacting how everything unfolds. Readers seamlessly go from Vera's unsettling nightmares, Kai's attempt at getting to know Vera, his problems with finding information in a library manned by a strict librarian, to the unsuccessful consultation with the psychic. While a lot happened in the span of just several days, you have managed to keep all the events relevant to the central topic of the story, which is the awakening of a monstrous soul and the beginning of disasters. You keep readers guessing but you also provide them with enough clues sot that they can piece together their own theories from the bits of information. Smart move! 

 Protagonist's goal: At the time of this review, your story has not moved much beyond Part One (Star Crossed), so I can't comment in-depth on this front. However, from what I've read it seems that Vera and Kai are focused on finding out what the disturbing dreams mean and what can be done to prevent them from coming true. It is definitely a goal your readers can get behind and I'm sure everyone is rooting for your hero and heroine!

Conflict: From the moment we meet the professor, we're already presented with a conflict, namely the professor's need to keep his daughter safe. Now, we don't know yet who the daughter is or what role she would play later on but it certainly is something to be answered as the plot thickens. The other conflict revolves around Vera being initially suspicious of Kai and rightly so. He appears out of nowhere and behaving like a stalker. I'm glad you show his intention not long after he is introduced, though. The biggest and most prominent conflict, however, seems to be the protagonists clashing with the psychic and learning that there is something menacing going on but the vague nature of the psychic's revelation makes it difficult for them to pinpoint what exactly has gone wrong. I like this conflict as it raises the stake even higher and I look forward to seeing you complete the story. 

 Premise of the story: Your premise is interesting as you have taken universal themes like greed, pride, wrath, prejudice, and vanity to another level by examining how those sins can drive a human into insanity. Your exploration of the chain reactions that follow one man's bad decision is intriguing and I'm looking forward to seeing how you will handle the rest of the story.

 Descriptions of settings: You have described your characters' surroundings. The imageries you have used to illustrate the ruins the professor visited are simply chilling and unnerving. Contrasting with the spookiness of the ruins, you have beautifully portrayed the Vera's campus to the extent that I wished I could be there with her. Excellent job!

 Final comments: Your book is immensely enjoyable and I wish you the best of luck in updating the story. Be sure to proofread before you publish your updates to catch grammatical and spelling errors.