The Alien Review Shop

Recrudescence

Title of the book: Recrudescence

Chapters Read: 11

Genre: Paranormal (Werewolf)

Author: mounakacem

Reviewer: thealien09

1. Title: 10/10

The title is unique. Very much so. It fits well with the plot given the recurrences of all bad things that happen to the characters. What else could you ask for in a title? 

2. Cover: 9/10

The cover is pretty cool. I get the theme of the story, the romance, and the conflict that will perspire between the two is obvious. Potential readers will find it easily. 

3. Blurb/ Description: 8/10

The blurb was short and catchy. But it can be made shorter and spicier. You can leave it as it is but something like the one below (for reference) could be the icing on the top to entice the reader into clicking that orange button that will take them to a different world.

With a new chance in life ahead, and a past not completely behind her, Sonia (insert surname) is walking on thin ice. 

But things are sure to go downhill when she refuses to accept Alpha Omar as her mate and fights to get away from the West Claw werewolves. Add to this list, betrayal. Trusting anyone is dangerous, herself included. 

Amidst a power struggle between humans and werewolves, will Sonia and Omar be able to find the love they deserve?    

4. Grammar/ Spellings/ Punctuations: 16/20

Spellings are on point and my (untrustworthy) eyes couldn't find a single mistake. As for grammar, I did notice a few tense slip-ups. From past to present and then again to past. That needs to be edited. And then there were the commas- the pesky little sentence breakers. Half the time they looked like typos, so go through the draft while editing and set them right. (DM me for queries!)

5. Writing Style: 7/10

This is one element you can improve. Now, for the younger internet audience that is heavily invested in teen-fiction, it wouldn't matter too much- because your writing has only a few errors and you can correct them if you go through your work once. 

1. A number of characters spoke in the same paragraphs (this generally happened when Sonia's friends were talking). Switch paragraphs with each new character's lines. This wasn't something that I encountered too much in the first few chapters, so it wasn't off-putting.

2. "Don't write it like a summary, let the reader experience it." This is something all of us need to keep in mind.  Let me take an example. Excerpt from chapter one: She took her medication and put the tablet back at the same spot. (...) Sonia took her keys and left the house. (...) She stopped at the main gate. (...) A security man approached and tapped on her driver's window. She gave him her name and the purpose of her visit. 

This sounds like a summary- a tad bit dull. Spice it up, put your authorial voice and character insights into these otherwise simple sentences that are generally ignored. For example- With a glass of water in one hand, she took out her daily meds from the translucent green stackable medicine box. She gulped the reds and yellows with the water, but the bitter aftertaste lingered on her tongue (...) She would be lying if she said she had seen a more buffed up man in her life when a bulky security man walked towards her and tapped on her window twice. The tap wouldn't have surprised her had she not been calculating how much he could benchpress. With a crooked smile, she gave him her name and the purpose of her visit. 

This is just an example and you don't have to make it this long. Think about your character. What would she notice, what would her reactions be to little things, her thoughts? Don't overdo it. Just enough to put your and the character's personality into the text. You get me? 

3. Show, don't tell. Sentences like 'she was amused', 'he was angry', 'she didn't know what to say', etc. are fine but if too many sentences are this way, the readers don't get the full taste of the scene, you see. I am being told what is happening. Instead, show me that. Her eyes lit up as if his actions were amusing to her, a twitch in his cheek and a shake in his hand shut her up, she was stunned into silence and the air left her lungs in a sharp exhale, feel more intimate to readers. So, give me the deets! 

4. After reading more than ten chapters, I still don't know what any character looks like, sounds like, and smells like. It is very important to give physical descriptions of characters and places. Paint a picture of the setting in the minds of readers with your words. Now, practice caution here. Spread the description in the first few chapters. Generally, it starts with the build, the eyes, and a characteristic feature, then later something else about the character, and the sound of their voice, etc. It is the writer's choice. Tip: Sneak the description into sentences. I am sure you know this, but I'll point it out anyway. Instead of 'his voice was gruff and his eyes were dark blue', sneak this piece of information in with dialogue and write 'he spoke lowly in a gruff voice and his cobalt eyes twinkled in amusement'.  

6. Organisation and development/ Pace/ Cliff hangers/ Character Development: 8/10

I really liked the short chapters and the pace was good enough. 

The organization was well done, and the story progressed smoothly.

The cliff-hangers didn't feel as if they were too many or too little- they were just right. The slight tease at the end keeps the reader interested and oh, boy, was I interested.

The character development of the main characters was good but I didn't see the same for the side characters. Sonia's friends, specifically, were...just there. A little backstory, a little engagement would be better.

Total: 58/70

 The transition between chapters (on demand): I loved the transition. Where one chapter left off, the other picked it up effortlessly. I really enjoyed the cliffhangers at the end. Especially the one where Sonia says 'Is this because I killed your wife?'. That was fun to read.  

Flashbacks (on demand): The flashback was very well written. I like those dreams and visions that are difficult to tell apart from reality at first, but then the reader himself/herself realizes it IS a vision/dream/flashback. Personally, I like it.

I've pointed all this out because I know you will be able to grasp it and improve. I can see the writer in you through your story. Reviews are supposed to be of use- to help us improve. I hope you were able to learn something even though this was general advice. 

That's all.

Please tell me if you found anything helpful at all. I only have one aim in mind and that is to see my fellow aspiring writers improve. The plot is especially intriguing, and the twist you have given to werewolf stories is new and interesting. Wishing you luck in all your future writing endeavors.