The Alien Review Shop

Demolition Riot

Title: Demolition Riot

By Arentorea9 

Cover

River Lockwood? Is that your name (pen name?) I really like it! Hard to see through on the cover

The cover's design is really angsty. I think for the purpose of the story you are trying to tell it's alright, but a bit unprofessional. I think the words in the background are fine but the picture pasted over it, the cracks across it, then the words, is a little too much. Less is more when it comes to cover design.

I suck at art and anything visual though so take my advice with a grain of salt. I come from a family of graphic designers and artists and comic book artists and animators though so I know a thing or two.

Blurb

"I escaped from my abusive ex-husband like, super religious right-wing family by joining a band with my two best friends, who both became my lovers."

Really long run-on sentence there, and the "like' tripped up my brain.

Wait, what do you mean this is based on true events??? What??

Also, you joined a band? Sweet! My BA is in classical piano but I lived and toured as a drummer for years before Corona hit.

Since your story is based on something that happened I feel wrong correcting your blurb since it's just an honest statement of what happened. But...try and look at splitting up that opening sentence maybe?

Conflict

MC v Pressures and expectations of her family

MC v self (confidence)

MC finding themselves

MC v Steven

Character Analysis

I really like how you included sensory details in your character descriptions. "Her long, curly hair was strewn every which way and I could smell a hint of strawberry body lotion from her skin." You're really good at providing visuals as well...I could see them all so clearly in my head.

Steven, the MC's ex-husband, is so well written. He has to be based on a real person because I know people in my personal life who act this way. He's a terrible father/husband who uses his religion to justify his abuse. He writes a stupid letter of apology (where he's obviously not sorry at all) to the MC talking about the situation and using his dedication to God to make him feel better. They had a son together too and he doesn't care for him at all, it's obvious for the MC. He's just a terrible person and yet, I feel like I've met him before...

The parents are written well too. Also way too real. The MC comes to them for help but the parents pressure her to stay in the toxic relationship because "divorce is ungodly." It's really frustrating to see the MC in this position because she really is trapped, and all that confusion that comes with it is definitely something I could relate to.

Opening Chapters

"I lay in between my bandmates, my lovers, and couldn't stop grinning." Oh, I love this opening so much! God, it reminds me of my tour...

The speaker has run away from her abusive husband who justified his actions using his religion. This hits...really close to home for me. I'm a gay woman from the south so that whole Christian family thing? Totally get it. Different situation but at the same time...kinda the same.

MC leaves to join a band and pursue the life she wanted instead of "submitting to her abusive husband" like she was expected to do. I, uh, did the same thing, except I ran away with my girlfriend (and never was with a guy in the first place) so I can hardly relate. I feel like I'm reading an AU of my life here, this is crazy.

Okay, okay, so sorry, enough about my personal life, I'm supposed to be reviewing here.

Oh my god, what the dad says in the first chapter "You have to have Biblical grounds for getting a divorce" UGH that makes me SO MAD because it's TOO REAL. TOO REAL.

And the panic attacks too holy shit. I've been there before...

Awesome opening, really eye-opening for me to read because it touched on so many things in my personal life that I've had to deal with, and the author pointed out some tough controversial things that needed to be said. Also since this is based on true events all of this is so realistic, so good to read, paired with solid writing on the author's part (not too many grammatical errors so nothing distracting from the content).

Plot

The plot follows the MC's journey through a pretty nasty divorce. She reveals how unjust her husband was to her and her son throughout the chapters and shows how he justified everything he did use his religion and continued to play the victim. The author does a great job of antagonizing Steven while keeping him realistic at the same time. They also make the MC's situation tense and dire, as the pressure from the over conservative family keeps her stuck in her situation for far too long, forcing her to come to difficult and uncomfortable means for the sake of freedom that shouldn't have to be earned. Eventually, she does leave him to play music with more genuine people, and that ends up being quite the adventure.

Theme

Toxicity, false positivity, religious pressure, disillusionment

Worldbuilding/Setting

The character-driven story so not really a setting for me to analyze. Doesn't need one.

Summary

This was a difficult read for me because it hit too close to home. I loved it though, I needed it.

Such a convicting story that has power because the author states that it's based on something that really happened...and you can tell. The author does a good job of making it read like a book with characters you relate with like you would with a work of fiction. It's well written and tackles some really heavy concepts with grace.

Thank you for sharing your work with me.

See you, Space Cowboy...