The Alien Review Shop

Another

Book name: Another 

Genre: Mystery/Thriller/Crime 

Author: _Nenny_

 Chapters: 12 (Ongoing) 

Reviewed by: NefertitiFenison

 Notes: The author has asked that I also focus on grammar. What I have noticed is that there are no jarring errors in the book, so good job on that! However, it wouldn't hurt to still proofread your draft, run it through spellcheckers, and ask someone to be an editor if needed. 

 My first impression of your story, as suggested by your blurb, was that you have a big group of crew and cast, all of whom have their own unique struggles, and that their lives will intersect and affect each other. 

I suggest that you add a short section containing a list of characters and their relationships, just to help readers keep track of who is who, especially since you use more than one POV throughout the book. This is optional but it can be useful in stories with multiple characters narrating their own perspectives of the same chain of events. 

 The cover is very simple yet likable and definitely gives off a vibe appropriate for a book full of suspense and tension. As for the title, at first, I had no idea why you chose it but after I went further into the narration I realized you are alluding to the implied possibility of extramarital affairs but also to the notion that the men are leading double lives, so to speak. 

 Narrative hook: If I have to summarize your book really briefly, I would say at its heart it is a tale of friends being trapped in unhappy marriages because of their own doings. If I have to expand on that summary, I would elaborate by saying that your work is an exploration of the consequences of betrayal, deception, and manipulation. You have created an appealing saga of what it means to lose people's trust, to be haunted by the past, and to carry around the burden of secrets.

Plot progression: Your plot follows a linear line but the bit of information is sprinkled like hidden clues since you present the story from different angles depending on whose head the reader is in (so far we have heard from Jerome, Isak, Jackson, Rachel, and Mabel). This can get dizzying but amazingly you managed not to get the plot fragmented or disjointed; the deeper the readers go, the more things they are bound to uncover, just like what a detective or an investigator does. This is such a good structure for a story that deals with themes like laws, litigation, and suspicion of criminal activities. 

 Protagonist's goal: From what I have gathered, it looks like most of the characters are not satisfied with their married lives; Aduke/Addy is suspicious that Jerome might be cheating on her while Jerome is still smitten with an old flame (Sewa), Rachel is feeling neglected and unloved by her husband, and Mabel is dealing with James' mother's dislike of her. 

On the other hand, there is a big question about whether or not Jerome is involved in a murder case like Korede suspected. In a nutshell, the protagonists are juggling their troubled marriages and their own legal drama. This could easily become too confusing but you have expertly woven the two themes into the characters' inner thoughts and dialogues. 

 Conflicts (among many): Jerome vs himself (feeling pressured and intimidated by his dad's success) Jerome vs Aduke (implications of infidelity) Jerome vs Korede a.k.a his wife's ex-boyfriend whose fiancée he still has feelings for Jackson vs Rachel Mabel vs James' mom As I listed above, you have a mind-boggling number of conflicts that initially seems to be of their own strands yet slowly but surely converge to spell out a giant disaster. 

I was worried that your twists and turns could be difficult to follow along and readers may find it hard to keep up, but on the contrary, your inclusion of multiple narrators works in your favor. Awesome!

The premise of the story: If I have to simplify everything into just one sentence, I would describe your premise as "Nigerian men dissatisfied with their wives find themselves caught up in a web of lies as people around them try to separate truths from speculations." 

 Descriptions of settings: You have done a terrific job establishing that the story takes place in West Africa, specifically in a city called Lagos. I love the inclusion of Igbo and Yoruba cultures although I'm afraid the cultural contexts might be lost on readers who are not familiar with the cultural references and the social norms your story is based on. 

If your target audiences are readers in Nigeria, however, then I can understand not going into many details. If you do want international readers, however, some of the finer nuances might need to be sufficiently explained. 

 Final comments: Your book is one of a kind, not only because of the setting but also because of your writing style and your ability to move effortlessly from one character's head to the next without breaking the flow of the story. It is not easy to pull off something like that and I admire your skills.