goodnight // lashton

ulale kahle.

Ashton's POV

I woke up to the sound of my alarm. I went to shut it off and go back to bed, but I remembered that I had to go to school today. I reluctantly got out of bed and changed into a sweater and skinny jeans. I put my converse on then grabbed my phone and went to the kitchen.

"Good morning, Laurie. Where's Stephen?" I asked. She looked up from the waffles she was making.

"He had to go to work early." She answered. I nodded and took a seat at the table. I wasn't really hungry, but it felt rude to not eat breakfast with them after all they had done for me. I only had to eat one waffle and then I could leave. Simple enough.

Once I finished, I told them both goodbye and made my way out of the house. I knew today wasn't going to be easy, but I had to go to school today. I had to at least try to make an effort.

As soon as I walked in, Charlotte came up to me and hugged me. I was shocked at first, but returned the hug once realization kicked in. She was holding on to me as if she hadn't seen me in years. I wasn't complaining, though. She might need me and it feels nice to be needed.

"I didn't know if you were okay or not." She said, letting go of me. I gave her a confuse look.

"Why not?" I asked.

"Well, I assumed you were just sick or something but then I saw Luke. He looked like a disaster. I asked him if he knew where you were and he said he didn't want to talk about it. It kinda...no. It really scared the shit out of me." She answered. I started to feel guilty. Luke was probably that way because of what had occurred the night before I was absent. He was the only one who knew abut that and I wanted it to stay that way. I didn't even want Charlotte to know.

"Luke has his own problems." I said. I didn't even know what the fuck that meant, but Charlotte nodded and we took a seat at our regular table. Today was going to be a hard day, but I was going to get through it. Hopefully.

~

Luke's POV

"Hey. Sleep well?" Michael asked me. No. 

"Not really. I was in pain for some weird reason." I replied. Calum shrugged.

"Wonder why." He said. I looked over at him and faked a laugh.

"Yeah. Wonder why." I repeated. The table was tense until a couple of other people came and sat by us. I mainly tuned them out, but faked a laugh every now and then. My eyes diverted to the door when Ashton walked in. Charlotte went up and hugged him. I sighed, hoping that that would someday be me again. 

"Keep your eyes where they matter." Calum said when he noticed that I was staring at Ashton. I kept my eyes on Ashton.

"That's what I'm doing." I replied. 

"What's your problem?" He asked. I looked over at him.

"I'm looking at it." I answered. He looked like he was about to punch me. I quickly got up and walked to the bathroom. I guess I can just hang out here until the bell rings.

~

Ashton's POV

I was walking to my fifth hour class when I felt myself get pulled into a room. It was a really small room. I sighed. Janitor's closet. I turned around and shoved the person who pushed me in here just in case they were going to hurt me. When I noticed who it was, I was glad I shoved them. It was Luke.

"What do you want, Luke?" I asked. He stood up and leaned against the door.

"I wanted to see you." He said. I rolled my eyes. How cheesy.

"Your eyes work outside of the janitor's closet." I said, reaching for the doorknob. He grabbed it before I could and locked the door. 

"That's not what I meant." He said.

"Well then what did you mean?" I asked. He leaned his head all the way back, closing his eyes. 

"That's what I'm here to explain." He replied. I felt myself relax more. An explanation. That's just what I needed. No sarcasm.

"Okay." I said. His eyes were still closed. I didn't want him to open them. It doesn't feel like this is happening face-to-face when he has his eyes closed.

"I like you. Like...a lot." He said. I bit my lip. He opened his eyes. I closed mine.

"Okay." I said. I didn't open my eyes. I felt my shoulders tense up.

"Say something else." He said. I leaned against the wall behind me.

"You have a terrible way of showing your feelings." I said. Luke let out a small laugh. I tried to relax a bit, but failed.

"I know. You don't feel the same way, do you?" He asked. I wanted to open my eyes, but I was afraid he would have his open. 

"I don't know." I said. I heard him sigh.

"That means no, doesn't it?" He asked. He didn't really ask it. He stated it. I opened my eyes.

"I don't know." I answered. That's the truth. I really don't know. I wish I could give him an answer. He's a dick. That's true. But he talked to me when no one else would. I can tell he still cares. Something happened between us. That doesn't mean we can't put it behind us, does it?

"I'm sorry." He said. 

"And you should be." I replied. He laughed. I didn't.

"Did I do something wrong?" I asked. He looked confused. 

"Of course not. What would make you think that?" He asked. 

"You left me." I answered. I heard him sigh.

"I didn't want to." He said. Now it was my turn to be confused.

"Then why did you?" I asked. Now he closed his eyes.

"I was protecting you." He answered. I closed my eyes, too. 

"From what?" I asked. I was missing class, but I didn't think that was such a bad thing. Maybe hearing this will help me get my shit together.

"From your life becoming a living Hell." He said. 

"Please explain." I said. 

"Michael and Calum. I told them I liked you. They said they were going to tell the whole school. I told them I'd do anything they wanted if they would just keep it to themselves and not hurt you. The football team was going to shut down if they didn't get one more player. Now you can imagine what they wanted. I guess that wasn't enough. I became a personal punching bag for them." He said. I opened my eyes. He pulled up his shirt, revealing multiple bruises on his stomach. From what it looked like, they went around to his back, too. 

"I had no idea." I said. I didn't know what else to say. All this time I thought he was just an asshole. He grabbed my hand, intertwining his fingers with mine. It felt right. Just...right. He slid a hand up my sleeve, tracing lightly across my cuts. I had my eyes closed again.

"I'm sorry. This is all my fault." He said. I shook my head. It's not his fault. He was protecting me. I just wasn't protecting myself. 

"Don't blame yourself." I said. He nodded, pulling me into a hug. I hugged him back, and we stayed that way for awhile before I broke the silence.

"I don't know means yes." I said. He let go of me and looked me in the eyes. I was about to close my eyes when he pushed me up against the wall and kissed me. In that moment, I felt happy. I felt happy, but all I could think about was if I still wanted to swallow all of my hidden pills.

~