goodnight // lashton

noson dda.

Ashton's POV

I slid the blade across my wrist once more, watching as the blood oozed out and ran down my arm. I felt relief flow through me. Blood was smeared across my wrists. I didn't care, though. I kept making cuts.

Deep cuts.

I heard footsteps and started to panic. Someone was going to find me. I had short sleeves on so they wouldn't roll down onto my wrist. My door opened, revealing Laurie and Stephen. They noticed my wrist and a look of concern made its way across their faces.

"Get out!" I yelled at them. They refused to leave, though.

"Ashton, why?" Laurie asked, taking my wrists in her hands. I flinched away from her. I didn't want her to touch me. Stephen left and came back with a towel. He tried to put it on my wrists, but I wouldn't let him.

"Get away from me!" I shouted, running out of my room. They followed me down the stairs. I made my way to the front door.

"Ashton, get back here." Stephen yelled, grabbing my wrist. I winced, pulling it away from him, leaving his hand covered in blood.

"You can't tell me what to do." I said, opening the door and grabbing their car keys.

"Ashton, we're your parents." Laurie said, grabbing my shoulders.

"No, you're not! You're not related to me what-so-fucking-ever!" I shouted, making my way out of her grip and ran out of the door. They didn't try to stop me. They didn't take their car keys back, either.

I jumped into the front seat and jammed the keys into the ignition. I guess now they realized what I was doing, as Stephen ran out towards the car. I knew how to somewhat drive a car, so I backed out of the driveway and drove away.

I could hear the rain hitting the top of the car. Tears were running down my face, blood was running down my wrists. I could only hear the sound of the rain and the windshield wipers. I was fourteen. I shouldn't be crying. I shouldn't have bloody wrists. I shouldn't be driving. I shouldn't be wanting to die.

I was in the back seat, laughing harder than I ever have. My mum looked back at me, smiling at my happy expression. The rain didn't stop my smiles and giggles. But I didn't understand why my parents turned all serious. Being 10, it didn't make sense to me at all. One second we were laughing, the next my parents hear something about the weather and the fun was over.

"Ashton, quiet down for a second. Mummy needs to hear this." My mum said, turning up the radio. I nodded, bringing my giggles to an end. The rain became much more obvious, the sound of it becoming the only thing I heard.

"Mum, I'm scared. What's happening?" I asked loudly to be heard over the pouring rain.

I screamed, trying to make the memories go away. I hit my foot harder on the gas pedal, tears streaming down my face.

"Ashton, it'll be okay. We'll be okay." My mum said, but I didn't even focus on her. All I could focus on were the headlights heading straight towards our car.

I slammed on the brakes, laying my head on the steering wheel. There were lights all around me, and I knew I had driven into town, which surprised me. I lived quite far from town. There was blood everywhere. I was choking on sobs, my memories haunting me.

I heard a tap on the window, and I looked up to see who it was. The person standing there, soaked from the rain, was the last person I wanted to see right now.

Luke.

Luke's expression widened at my bloody wrists. I was too upset to care. I just flung the door open and jumped into his arms.

"W-what happened?" He asked, shocked. I shook my head, tightening my grip around his shoulders. He got the message, but ignored it. He pulled himself out of my grip.

"Why, Ashton? Why are you crying? Why did you cut? For fuck's sake, why are you driving? You're fourteen! And it's raining! What the hell are you thinking?" Luke yelled at me. I wasn't in any mood to take this shit.

"What was I thinking? What were you thinking? Why did you leave me? Why did you leave me and now act like you care?" I shouted at him. He flinched back. I never shout. But he left. He doesn't know how much I've changed.

"I-I don't know." He said, slumping his shoulders back.

"Exactly! You have no idea how much it hurt me. I trusted you, Lukey. I fucking trusted you! And you left! Letting you in was hard for me! Letting you go was even harder." I said, letting myself cry as hard as I needed. The rain was washing away the blood on my wrists. Luke came in for a hug, but I pushed him away.

"Fuck off, Luke." I said, getting in my car and driving back home, not caring about whatever trouble I was going to get in. All the things I care about will surely bring me pain and all I cared about was Luke.

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