goodnight // lashton

bonne nuit.

Ashton's POV

It meant nothing. It had to mean nothing, right? My Luke would never do that, would he? This isn't him. No way.

He hurt me.

It was totally unexpected. I thought he could've gotten over this ignoring me thing. I went up to talk to him. Michael gave him a look, then he shoved me into a locker. Literally inside a locker. I don't even know whose locker this is. They're going to get a fucking surprise when they open it.

I haven't even tried to get out or call for help. I've been too busy crying. I was in pain. Number One: I was in a locker. Number Two: My best friend did this to me. Can I still call him my best friend? After all of this? 

The locker door opened, revealing the face of the janitor. 

Oh, and Luke.

"Ashton! I'm so sorry! I just-" He was crying. Why?

"It's fine." I said, wiping my eyes with my sleeves. He grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the school, almost making me drop my bag. Once we were outside, he rolled up my sleeves.

"Thank God." He said when he noticed that there were no new scars. 

"Michael told me you left me some voicemails. He said you were sad and it wouldn't let me play them since he already had and I-" I cut him off. He looked sorry. He looked like he actually meant it. Why didn't I believe him?

"I think we should take a break, Luke." I said, keeping my voice low and my head down. I couldn't do it. I couldn't go through with this. I'd be crawling back to him. I can't just not see Luke. I'm not that strong.

"From what?" He said, biting his lip. He knew what I meant. We both didn't want to know the answer.

"G-goodbye, Luke." I said, shaking with sobs. He was, too. His grip on my wrists were tight. I pulled one away from him, rolling the sleeve down and bringing it up to my face. I cried into my arm, waiting til the time was right to leave.

"I'm sorry. Forgive me, Ash, please!" Luke said, pulling me into a hug. I hugged him back, tighter then I'd ever hugged him before. We stayed like that for awhile, sobbing and hugging. This was one of the worst things that had ever happened to me. I mean, I've been through worse, but this was awful.

"I guess this is goodbye." I said, pulling out of his grip. As soon as I did, I was aching to be in it once again. But I had to do this. I had to stand my ground. I can't keep letting him give me false hope. This is goodbye until he decides what he really wants.

"Goodbye, Ashton." Luke said, putting his head down.

"Bye, Lukey." I said, turning away. I stood still for a couple seconds, taking a deep breath. I had actually just done that. It's over. We're not friends anymore.

I started walking away from him. Each step pained me. Each step was further away from him. 

And that fucking hurt.

I wasn't going home. Laurie would kill me. I decided to go to a playground instead. Nothing bad could happen at a playground, right? Plus, I love children. Maybe there will be cute little kids there. 

I slung my bag around my shoulder, holding it with one strap. It was light, as I didn't go to my other classes and receive homework. Eh, it doesn't matter. It's probably some easy shit that I already know. 

I sat my bag down and got on a swing. I plugged my black headphones into my phone and put them in. I started to slightly swing, listening closely to the Marianas Trench song that was slowing through my headphones. The song was called So Soon. It was sad, but cute. It basically described how I felt right now. I know I should probably be listening to a happy song to make me feel better, but I just didn't want to. I wanted to listen to a song that was the same as how I felt so that I knew there was at least somebody who understood how I felt.

The park was completely empty. Everyone was either at school or work. I couldn't decided if it being empty was good or bad. Did I want someone here? Or did I want to be alone? I can't decide anymore. 

I got up out of the swing and walked down the street. This was relaxing, music playing and walking down the street. The town was almost empty. It was silent and calm; exactly what I wanted. Exactly. what I needed.

I walked until I reached Starbucks. That's what I really needed. Coffee. It'll perk me up. 

"Hello, what can I get you?" The girl behind the counter asked. She was pretty; blonde hair and blue eyes. She wasn't my type, though. Obviously. I ordered and waited for her to call my name. I silently praised Laurie for giving me an allowance. I handed her the money, telling her to keep the change and wishing her a good day.

I decided that now was a good time to go home. School was going to get out soon and, by the time I got home, it would already be out. 

When I got home, it turned out that I was right. School was out and I was home. I just wanted to be able to put this day behind me.

But I'll never be able to do that.

~

I was laying down to go to bed when my phone buzzed.

From: Lukeybear

I miss u. Goodnight. 

From: Ashyboo

stop texting me. we're not friends.

From: Lukeybear

Im going 2 bed. Goodnight. 

From: Ashyboo

goodnight. 

God, I'm just a sucker for anything that he does. Whatever. It's just saying goodnight. It means nothing. It's just goodnight.

~