goodnight // lashton

noapte buna.

Ashton's POV

If I'm completely honest, I didn't want to wake up. I debated just faking sick, but I had to act like I was okay. I had to make Luke think that our friendship meant nothing to me, even if it actually meant the world to me.

So I just got out of bed and got ready. I put on black skinny jeans and a random white shirt. I put a hoodie on over it to hide my faded scars. I also put on a Nirvana bracelet, Blink-182 bracelet, and a Batman bracelet; just to be safe.

Please ignore the fact that Luke gave those bracelets to me. Please. I'm not that strong yet.

I got ready to walk to school, putting my phone on shuffle and my earbuds in. I didn't want anyone to talk to me. I didn't want to even look at anyone. They'd notice that I was crying.

By the time I got to school, I was really regretting coming. I didn't think I'd be able to handle it. I hope the work is easy, because if I don't get something, I'll probably cry. That's normally what happens when I'm stressed; I cry at the littlest of things.

I reluctantly walked to homeroom. Luke was in that class. I hope he's not here today. Maybe he couldn't stand seeing me. Hopefully, that was the case. 

But when I walked in, Luke was the first thing I saw. He was laughing along with some popular people. His eyes were rimmed red, proof that he was crying. I knew mine were probably the same way. I pulled my hood up, walking over to a different table. I used to sit by Luke in homeroom, but I guess that's not exactly an option now. I laid my head down on my arms, turning my music up even louder.

The bell rang and I knew class had started. I didn't have to put my phone away, since homeroom is basically a free hour. I just stayed with my head down, wishing I would disappear. 

"Hey, Ashton, wake up." Someone said, shaking my shoulder lightly. I looked up and met eyes with my teacher. Everyone was still in the classroom, but we only had only ten minutes left.

"Sorry." I said, lifting my head up. Mr. Lushe gave me a small smile.

"Ashton, can you speak with me in the hall?" He asked. I nodded, getting up out of my seat and following him out into the hall. I could feel Luke staring at me. It took all I had to continue walking and not go run to him and apologize. Besides, I did nothing wrong. Right?

"Why aren't you sitting with Luke?" Mr. Lushe asked when we got out in the hall. I was kind of glad he noticed. He was probably my favourite teacher. He was around twenty-six, so he wasn't too old. He was pretty understanding, too. I knew he wouldn't force anything out of me.

"I don't know." I lied. He nodded, but obviously didn't buy it.

"Ashton, is he hurting you?" He asked. I shook my head. 

"He's just popular now. I'm not good enough." I said, looking down. I felt tears run down my cheeks. I kept my head down, feeling a lump in my throat.

"Now, what would make you think that?" He asked. I just shrugged in response, causing him to sigh.

"Ashton-"

"It's okay. He doesn't like me the way I like him, anyway." I said, cutting him off. I immediately tensed up when I realized what I had said. Mr. Lushe didn't freak out, either.

"If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here. If you just need somewhere to just hang out and get away from anyone during school, just come to my room. Even if I have a class, I'll let you hang out in here. You can sit in the closet or something." He said, smiling. I laughed.

"I'm already in the closet." I said quietly, laughing to myself. He laughed, too. God, I'm so funny. I wiped at my eyes with my sleeves. He grabbed my wrist.

"And you're better than this." He said, gesturing to my covered wrist. I nodded, pulling my wrist away and hugging him. He hugged back, and I pulled away.

"Uh, thanks. For, like, a lot." I said, shrugging.

"No problem. Now go get your stuff and get an early start to your other class." He said. I nodded, going in to get my stuff. I grabbed it all, going to my locker and then to my next class; science.

~

I was finally at my least favourite period of the day; social studies. I hated this class with a passion. I honestly don't care about shit that happened before I was born. I passed this class, but only becuase I actually gave a couple shits about my grades.

And Michael, Calum, and Luke are in this class. Talk about hell, right?

"So, class, we have a new project coming up. It's about our town in the past and how it is now. Basically, we'll be making a presentation about how they differ from the other. We'll study the past version of our town, then we'll go out around the town one day; most likely a weekend day. So, I'll pair you up, as I know you won't pick a partner that will actually benefit you." Our teacher, Mrs. Moore, said. There were scattered groans throughout the class.

"And you won't complain about your partner." She added. She started naming off the groups. Luke got Calum, which he seemed happy about. Part of m wanted to be partners with Luke. I guess that part of me thought it would help us become friends again. I should probably get it through my head that Luke and I will most likely never be friends again. I'm not good enough for him. I never was and I never will be. It's as simple as that.

"And Ashton, you're with Michael."

~