goodnight // lashton

nos da.

Ashton's POV

I was crying harder than I thought I would be. This should be easy. I've done it so many times before that I thought I would've been used to it. But it's not easy. Not at all. I put the rest of the sharpener back into my bag and took hold of one of the blades.

I couldn't stop shaking. I was shaking so hard that I thought the sharp object would fall right out of my hand. I don't have anyone to stay strong for anyways. Not even myself. 

I brought the razor up to my wrist, applying pressure and sliding it across. I bit my lip and dropped the razor. I regretted it, but I wanted more. As much as it pained me to say it, I wanted more. It hurt, but it also took the hurt away.

The blood stood out against my skin. Then there was another cut. And another. And another. And another. I decided five was enough, as they were pretty deep. 

My phone buzzing brought me out of the bathroom and into my bedroom.

From: jerk

Hey sry about 2day. Goodnight

From: Ashyboo

i dont like you stop texting me

From: jerk

I know u don't but I still thought I'd say sry

From: Ashyboo

wow everything is better omg thanks so much!!12!!1!

From: jerk

U don't have 2 be mean about it Im trying 2 b nice

From: Ashyboo

sorry i have a tendency to be rude to assholes

From: jerk

Whatever. Goodnight

From: Ashyboo

goodnight, asshole.

~

I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked terrible. My eyes were red, there was dry blood on my arms, my face was red and wet from tears; I just looked terrible. I ran a hand through my hair, which was messy and knotted from sleeping. I decided to take a shower. 

I was still tired after my shower. I expected that, though, since I only got an hour of sleep. I didn't show that, though. There was a smile glued onto my face when I walked downstairs in a grey hoodie and black skinny jeans with holes in the knees. 

I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay.

"Morning, Ashton. Sleep well?" Stephen asked as I came downstairs. I nodded, taking a seat at the table and grabbing my grey converse that were laying on the table. He was flipping through a newspaper while Laurie was making some coffee. 

"Oh, morning, sweetie." Laurie greeted when she noticed I was here. I waved quickly and went back to tying my shoe.

"Would you like some coffee?" She asked. 

"Yes, ma'am." I answered. I finished tying my shoes and looked up at Stephen, who was checking his watch.

"You're up awfully early." He stated. 

"Went to bed early." I lied, fiddling with the sleeves of my hoodie. He nodded, going back to reading. I took out my phone and went on Pinterest. 

"The coffee machine isn't working. Just run by McDonald's on your way to school and get some." Laurie said, handing me a ten dollar bill. Coffee wouldn't cost near that much, but I just went with it and decided I'd give her the change later.