Bismillah hir Rahman nir Raheem.
As soon as she opened her eyes, she felt strange. All she wished for was to be in her sleep, forever and never wake up because she felt empty and numb.
Her hand slowly reached for her belly and that's when she realised what had endured upon her and what she had lost.
She had already had enough of crying and she couldn't start fresh.
Her eyes pricked to adjust to the brightness of the hospital room she was laying in. She looked around the surroundings, only to feel displeasure. She hated being in this situation.
Her hand again massaged her tummy to find it flat and she started gasping for air. Her state was trivial enough and she couldn't muster the courage to have add more pain on her plate.
"Shabna." Her mom held her hand and kissed her knuckles. Though she was feeling like hell, she smiled at the sight of her mother.
"Beta! How are you feeling?"
"I am good Mamma."
"Alhamdulillah! There is nothing to worry. In shaa Allah you will be alright soon."
Shabna's eye lingered through the room to find it empty.
"Where is Armaan?" She asked, trying to get up.
Mubeena instantly made her lay back in the bed. Shabna looked at her mother in confusion.
"Mamma! Where is Armaan?" She repeated the same question.
"Oh! He was here all night and just now he went home for some rest," She lied.
"He did?"
"Yes! He was here the entire time."
Even being in this state, hearing this answer, Shabna couldn't avoid a small smile grazing her lips and by the look of her face, Mubeena's heart broke even more.
.....
Dr. Jesima breathed in and out before opening the door, because she lacked courage to see her best friend during this stage and regretted even more for taking this decision to treat her.
On seeing her enter Mubeena got up from the chair she was sitting beside Shabna.
"I will go get you something to eat." She left the room.
Jesima ignored Shabna's piercing gaze as she checked her vitals and then she removed the empty IV and replaced it with a new one.
"Aren't you going to speak?" Shabna finally asked.
"Of course! Was just checking your vitals."
"What happened to my baby Jessie? My Mom was here and I don't want to make her worry. Now she isn't here. Please answer me," Shabna wiped her forehead, "Why do I feel so empty?" She was restless.
Jesima eyed Shabna and her heart sank.
"Jessie! Answer me. Where is my baby?" Shabna got up and sat as she grasped Jesima's hand and made her forcefully turn to her side when the latter didn't answer.
"Jesima! I beg you. Please."
"Shabna you can't take any type of tension at this moment. Lie down and relax." Jesima withdrew her hand and stood up to adjust her coat, avoiding her friend’s gaze.
"What happened? It was all my mistake, wasn't it?", Shabna hit her hand over her forehead, "It was all my fault", she started hitting hard and the bandage that was stuck in her forehead started to ripple off, and in this state of hers, Shabna wasn't aware of that.
"Shabna!" Jesima pulled her hand away. She held a cotton ball over the wound which oozed with blood and rubbed it with alcohol.
"I asked you to take some rest, can't you?"
"How can I? How can I Jesima?" She cried.
Jesima remained silent as she wrapped a new band-aid through her forehead and secured it with a knot.
"What happened to the baby Jesima?" Shabna asked again.
"She's no more Shabna. All you can do now is to be patient. Please try to relax. I know, I know it is so hard for you. But trust me, you have nothing else to do."
"What does it mean that she's no more? Though it was the starting part of my pregnancy, she was the reason to which I was breathing. Allah can't do this to me." Shabna cried holding both her hands to her face.
"No. This can't happen. Ya Allah!" She started crying as she started to pull away the tubes of drips which were connected to her hand.
"I want to die. I have lost my everything." She cried profusely.
"Shabna! Shabna! Please." Jesima pulled her friend to her chest and she hugged her as she wobbled with so much pain that all Jesima felt was loss of words. She slowly uttered soothing words as she patted her back and drew circles to calm her down.
But what else could Shabna do? She couldn't tolerate this pain, for she felt as if all her veins were poisoned. She felt so weak and broken.
In her life she had suffered so much but she can't bear this pain. She had lost something so precious in mere seconds. She blamed herself for doing this to her baby, but she didn't fall off intentionally through the stairs. It was an accident after all, which took away all her happiness and the hope, she gathered with so much effort to stay strong and live past all the hard comings.
It was a storm that pulled away
All the roots of hope
Rippling her soul
Withering her body, and
Tearing her heart.
Life was no joke,
Who was she kidding
It comes with it's own trials and
tribulations
But all you can do is
Muster up the courage to hold the
Rope of faith.
It will give you a feeling of belonging
With your Creator
And it will never make you, go astray.
YOU ARE READING
Train to Love ☑
SpiritualHer soul was torn He came as her stitches She was humiliated, so He became her praise She was cheated once, now He gave her assurance She was depressed He made her smile She wanted to die, but He taught her to live She was a beautiful flower And...
