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"I'm coming in", I said casually as I slipped off my sandal and placed it neatly at the corner. Walking through the hallway, the smell of grilled meat wafted from the kitchen. Oh, Nii-san did say they got meat as a present from the fan club. I peek into the kitchen and see no one. They must have done eating and are currently chatting upstairs by now. I could hear loud voices from the room upstairs. A sound of footsteps coming down the stairs made me jump a bit but soon regained my composure back when I saw it was Haiji carrying empty dishes.

"Oh, (Y/N)-san. Sorry for not welcoming you. Did you just got here?", he asked as he walked passed me towards the kitchen.

"Yeah, I should say sorry because I came later than I promised. Sorry, It's almost 10 o'clock...", my head hung low in disappointment.

"Ahahaha, it's fine! I'm really glad you could make it", Haiji smiled gently which surprised me in the moment. My eyebrows knitted as I focused on his face. That's when I noticed, his cheek is a bit red.

"Haiji-san... you have been drinking right? No wonder you're smiling weirdly...", I sighed as I rolled up my sleeve. Without saying another word, I take the wet dishes Haiji washed and start wiping them then place them at the supposed place. Sensing someone grinning, I glare towards Haiji. "Please stop grinning like that, I'm just worried if the plate might break considering your current state", I plead, more like warning him to stop his drunk act.

"Yes, (Y/N)-san. Ah, let's talk in my room. You go first, I'll bring a drink later", he said as he wiped his wet hands, opening the refrigerator to take the drink. I just nodded then walked to his room, too lazy to say any reply.

🍃

The wind that sometimes blows gently in the night accompanies the silence between us. We both sit in front of the opened window, gazing into the dim yard outside.

"It was four years ago, I received news from the doctor that I developed a stress fracture. He told me that I should avoid any training that involves knees movement but I ignore his advice and end up totally broken. Patella fracture or simply said, broken kneecap. That was the starting point where I can no longer join or participate in any training nor competition", his gaze casted downwards.

"Honestly speaking, I joined the track and field not of pure interest. More like following the flow of having a father that works as a coach in my high school. I lose all hope, knowing I can no longer run as much as I wanted to. Why was my body so weak? Why can't I overcome such problems? Those questions keep running inside my mind. But, that was the moment I realized how much I actually want to run. Wanting to know how it really feels to run. Not to win but to search for the meaning of running. All my life, I have never felt so determined to run", a light chuckle escaped his lips as Haiji's eyes glanced at the dark sky.

"I underwent a surgery, fixing the bone and had to practice walking on two feet again like a toddler. The healing process was suffering to the point you might want to give up on your own legs. Those suffering moments were what made me strongly desire to run again. This time, with my own teammates", Haiji smiled, determination obviously shown on his face. I bit my lips after he finished his whole story of the scar. My head hangs low, hiding my current expression.

"What's wro-", I cut Haiji off.

"I'm envious of you, Haiji-san... Despite all of the pain you felt, you were able to muster back your courage and have a strong determination to run again. Compared to me, I didn't have any complication about my health or physical abilities. I could still swim but I was too weak. I lost hope and gave up on my only sparks... You're...", I stopped as I searched for the right word. Right, only one word could describe him now.

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