Merediths pov:
I'm late, I'm 3 weeks late. I'm never late and I'm freaking out, what if it's true, what if I am pregnant. Shoot how would Derek react, we never talked about kids. I mean we've been together for almost 1,5 year but we're only 20.
Oh I'm scared, I'm texting Cristina saying she has to run to the store and buy me some tests. I can't sit here thinking I might be carrying a child right now, I need to know. Like now-
In 45 minutes Cristina runs into the house, Derek was being called in for an emergency surgery, so he is gone for awhile. "Mer, where are you?" "Bathroom!" I yell at her. I hear her walking up the stairs.
"So you might be pregnant?" She asks. "Yup, I'm scared though, what if Derek doesn't want kids, I mean we're young like young young, we're both still a fetus" "Meredith, calm down, it will be okay" "right okay, let's do this"
Cristina gets out and I pee on the 3 sticks. 3 different brands. "Okay I'm done" I unlock the door and she comes in. We set a timer for 5 minutes and we wait. I start to overthink everything.
What if Derek leaves me, alone, with a baby. My mom is not going to be happy. So I'll be all by myself I can't do that. Oh god. "MER!" Cris yells. "Yea, huh what?" "The 5 minutes are up" "oh right, okay , I don't think I can do this, you do it"
"You sure?" "Yeah just do it" she picks up the sticks and looks at it, "well- it looks like you're going to have child, they all say pregnant" she says.
I'm standing in shock. The difficult part is telling Derek, how am I supposed to do that...
''Cristina, what if he gets mad, or- or he runs, or he leaves me alone, or- oh god what if he stops loving me?'' ''Meredith, calm down, you have to tell him, I'm going home now, call me if you need anything." she said.
There I was alone, with a baby in my stomach. I cant tell this to Derek. I just call him or something. No, thats not a good idea either. Maybe uhm- call him while being on my way, running, just to be sure he doesnt run.
No, bad idea meredith. Terrible idea. I just write it down. I grab a piece of paper and start writing. I throw it away 4 times. I think this is good. I lay it down on the kitchen counter and pack some of my stuff. I get into my car and drive away. I call my old friend. Sandy.
''Death?'' ''hey, san'' ''to what do I owe this pleasure?'' ''I have a small problem, and I need to stay somewhere'' ''whats wrong?'' ''I'm pregnant, and I'm running away from Derek, I dont think he wants children yet'' ''ofcourse you can come here, but dont you need to tell him?'' ''yes I did, kind of, I wrote a letter'' ''damn you are a badass'' ''okay, so I can come?'' ''yea sure'' ''okay thanks, I will be there in a few hours''
Dereks pov:
I'm finally done with my surgery and I decide to go home, and surprise Meredith. I change in my street clothes and walk to my car. I get home and everything is dark. Thats weird, Meredith was supposed to be home today, I turn on the lights and yell for her, but there is no reaction, she might went to get groceries or something.
I walk into the kitchen en see a note. aha.
'Dear Derek,
so you probably just came home to a dark house. You probably also noticed me not being here, and as good as I know you, you probably thought I went to get groceries. But I didn't I left, because I had to deliver you news you probably would not take well and I'm scared that you'll leave me so I decided it was for the best to just leave myself. I'm sorry Derek, I know we've been together for almost 1,5 years so we can talk about things with eachother. But Derek, I'm pregnant, like I'm carrying your child. We never really talked about this, but you're probably not ready.. especially not with me. You know just as good as I do, that I will be a bad mother, but I want to do it, I want to be a mom to this baby. I will always love you Derek, you can get to know your child in a few years, if you're ready to, just call me. But please dont call me, because you want me to come back, or because you're mad.'
She is pregnant, with my child, and she left me. I need to call her, ofcourse I want a baby with her. I dial her phone number and I immediately get her voicemail ''Hi its Meredith, call me back'' I hear the peep and start talking ''Meredith, I love you, ofcourse I want a baby with you, I love you so much, and this baby too, please come back?''
2 hours later she still hasnt called me back. I get into my car and drive to Cristina's house. I bang on the door and yell her name ''Cristina open the door'' she opens it and looks at me in shock. ''Meredith is pregnant, and she left me, she just left, I need to know where she is, or that she is safe''
''I dont know where she is Derek, and if I did I wouldnt tell you, and yes she is safe'' ''why wont you tell me? I'm sure you know where she went, you're her bestfriend'' ''because she asked me to keep my mouth shut'' ''o-okay, thanks'' I can hear my own voice crack and turn around, walk away and get in my car.
I drive back home and sit on the couch. I leave 5 more voicemails and text her alot, but she doesnt respond. She really left me, I need her in my life, I cant breath without her. I need something to numb my pain. I grab the whiskey out of the alcohol cabinet and drink out of the bottle.
Just like Mer always did. 20 minutes later, the bottle is empty and I fall asleep with tears streaming down my face. When I wake up, I have a terrible headache and I feel numb. Tears start to fall down again and I decide to call Meredith, again. ''hi mer- uhm its me, please come back, I miss you so much, it hurts, please?''
I decide to not go to work today, but I dont call in sick. I lay on the couch and stare up at the ceiling, playing with my fingers. I hear my phone ring and I jump up, but I see its Cristina. I dont care, I dont pick up. She texts me ''DEREK PICK UP THE PHONE'' I pick up the phone but do not say anything.
''Finally'' I still ignore her. ''Why arent you here? At the hospital?'' ''Is Meredith there?'' I ask her, voice cracking. ''No'' ''Then what is the point of going there?'' ''Derek, are you okay?'' ''Yes, Cristina I'm just fine'' I probably sound annoyed but I am, the only thing I want is Meredith. ''okay, well I see ya, bye'' I hang up the phone, without saying bye.
3 hours later there is a knock on the door. Its a woman. I jump up and run to the door. Its Cristina. I try and close the door, but she sets her foot between it. ''what do you want Cristina?'' ''you're not okay Derek, why are you in yesterdays clothes?'' ''I slept in them'' she pushes past me and looks around.
''You got drunk?'' I humm in a response and she looks at me. ''ow Derek'' ''what?!'' I yell. I immediately regret it. ''I'm sorry, I didnt mean to yell'' I say quickly. ''its okay, are you sure you're okay?'' ''No ofcourse I'm not okay, my girlfriend of 1,5 years just left me, while being pregnant, being god knows where, and she thinks I'm mad at her, why in gods name would I be mad at her, I'd love to have her kids, I want nothing more, other than marry her ofcourse''
She just stares at me. ''Let me make a quick call okay?'' ''whatever'' she walks away into the hallway and I sit down. After a few minutes she comes back and she sits next to me. ''Lets clean up the house a bit okay?'' ''no, no I dont want a clean house, I dont want you, I JUST WANT MEREDITH!'' tears are streaming down my face again, and my shirt is getting soaked, but I dont care, it hurts, it hurts so so bad.
4 hours later there is another knock on the door. Cristina is still here and she walks up to the door. Someone comes in but I have no energy to look up. I just lay there on the couch, eyes closed, trying to get some rest, Cristina told me I should rest. Suddenly someone sits next to me and this person wipes my hair of my forehead. I recognise that smell from a mile away. Lavender.
I quickly open my eyes and there she is, the love of my life, sitting next to me. ''Mer?'' what if its a dream or something. ''Its me , Derek, I'm here'' ''why-'' ''because I dont want you to be hurt nor being drunk'' ''you should go, if you do not want to be here, then you should leave, I dont want you to feel uncomfortable''
''Derek, I want to be here, Cris told me you want the baby'' ''yes, yes ofcourse I do, why would I be mad, I love you so much, I want your kids, all of them'' she smiles at me, and I feel butterflies grow in my stomach. ''can-can I kiss you?'' she nods. I lean in and I kiss her on her lips.
''So you're staying?'' ''yes I am'' ''and we're having a baby together?'' ''and we're having a baby together'' I hug her tight, and thats when I know, I want to be with her until the end.
__kind of a longer chapter then normally, thank you for reading, dont forget to vote or to comment,
love me!__
