Apparently, alam na pala ni Gwen ang lahat. Without me explaining my side, naintindihan niya. Inintindi niya pa rin. Nanlambot ako dahil pagkagising na pagkagising ko ay tumambad sa akin ang isang mensahe na galing sa kanya.
Hi... Sorry for this random message. To be honest, hindi ko alam kung paano sisimulan so might as well, sabihin ko na lang lahat ng gusto kong sabihin para hindi na tayo mangapa kung paano dadaloy tong usapan natin.
When I was younger, I badly want to have a sibling. Naiinggit ako sa mga kaibigan kong may mga kapatid because I know that I will never experience the same feeling that they had. May kapatid. May kakampi. Growing up, I needed a sibling - a bestfriend to face all this life's cruelties. But knowing that I don't have one, I had to face them alone. I needed to and it made all the hardships harder.
That's why I was really surprised when I found out about you. All this time, may kapatid naman pala ako. I can't help but to crave for that same old feeling that I wanted to experience way back then. I want you to be my best friend. Unfortunately, mukhang malabo na pala kasi ako rin 'yung rason kung bakit nawala sayo yung lalaking pinakamahal mo. I'm really really sorry. I know that I don't have to defend myself kasi hindi mo naman na kailangan pero gusto ko lang malaman mong hindi ko sinasadya. I was with my friends and we got drunk that night. I got so wild. Hindi ko na alam yung nangyari. I just woke up alone in a motel room the next morning. And then boom. May nabuo. Hinanap ko si Zeke to inform him about the child. Wala talaga sana akong planong maghabol. I just felt the need to inform him because afterall, it's also his child. But with or without him, papanindigan ko tong magiging anak ko. Nagulat ako kasi niyaya niya akong magpakasal. I was hesitant at first kasi to be honest, I'm not rushing things up. I even said no the first time he offered but he told me that he doesn't want to let our child be born nang hindi kami kasal dahil mas lalong magmumukhang disgrasya lang yung anak namin. Napakalaking issue. I had to think of it. Kung ako lang siguro, hindi ako papayag. Ni hindi ko naman kilala si Zeke. But my child, Pat. Sana maintindihan mong ayaw ko namang maramdaman ng anak namin na bunga sya ng pagkakamali. I'm sorry that I agreed.
I'm sorry for taking away your happiness. I'm sorry for living the life with things that are supposed to be yours as well. I'm really sorry. Hindi ko alam kung anong dapat kong gawin to receive your forgiveness pero alam kong kahit anong gawin ko, hindi na maaalis yung sakit. I'm really sorry.
The sister that I never had. Pareho kami. Gustong-gusto kong magkaroon ng kapatid noon dahil naiinggit ako sa mga kaibigan kong merong kapatid. Meron naman pala talaga ako.
Gusto kong sabihin sa kanyang meron na syang kakampi ngayon pero hindi ko alam kung paano. Nahihiya ako. Siya pa talaga 'yung nanghingi ng tawad when it's me who did something that might break her family. Lalo akong nakokonsensya thinking na muntik na akong maging dahilan kung bakit may batang tatanda na hindi buo ang pamilya. Maski ako, nandidiri sa sarili ko.
Maya-maya lang ay nakatanggap akong muli ng mensahe galing sa kanya.
I won't force myself on a love that doesn't even exist. Hindi ko mapipilit si Zeke na mahalin ako dahil lang may anak kami. I'll let him go, Patrick. Kahit ito man lang, hindi ko na aagawin sayo. Iyo na ulit siya. Kung nag-aalala ka dahil sa bata, you don't have to worry. Kaya nating palakihin yung magiging anak namin nang magkakasama. Hindi ko ipapagdamot. Mas magiging masaya pa ako kasi dadagdag ka pa sa mga magulang niya and I know na magiging mabuting magulang ka sa kanya. You can have Zeke back, kuya. I'm setting him free.
YOU ARE READING
What If? (BoyxBoy)
RomanceIn life, we're all bound to ask ourselves this question that we can't even answer because it never really happened in the first place. And no matter how much we wanted to turn back the time, we can no longer do so.
