What If? (BoyxBoy)

CHAPTER FIVE

I arrived earlier than my usual time because our senior told me that someone will fetch me at six in the morning since it will be a long travel from here to Pagudpud. I waited outside the building because there's no point of entering anymore.

Good thing that I did not wait that long. However, I was surprised to see a familiar car stopped right in front of me. Binaba niya ang windshield kaya't nakumpirma kong siya nga ang nasa loob.

"Anong ginagawa mo rito?" I asked him.

"Ikaw 'yung auditor na susundin ko ngayon?" He asked me back and there, I confirmed it.

"How are you associated to Villagracia's Resort?" I asked another. Ang tagal naming naging magkarelasyon but I never heard that he is associated with this resort.

"Come in first."

We might cause a traffic so sumakay na ako pagkasabi niya noon. Sasakay sana ako sa likod para hindi mas maging awkward sa amin ngunit pagkaupo ko ay hindi pa rin siya umandar.

"What?" I asked as he stare blankly at me.

"Don't make me look like your driver." He uttered.

I sighed before transferring beside him.

"Okay na?" I asked.

"Better." He answered satisfied with our arrangement.

I tried my best not to look at him but I won't deny how much I missed this. Kahit kailan yata'y hindi pa kami nag-aaway sa loob ng sasakyan na 'to. This car witnessed how happy we were. It used to take us to random and spontaneous places na maisipan naming puntahan nang biglaan.

"Gwen's family owns Villagracia. Pinapapunta ako ni tito ngayon kasi ituturo daw sa akin kung paano imanage ang business nila." He explained. I nodded to acknowledge what he just said.

I kept my attention on the road. Baka kapag tumingin ako sa kanya, baka madurog lang lalo ako.

But I missed him so much. Nasanay akong siya ang inuuwian ko pero ngayon, kailangan kong masanay na hindi na siya akin.

"Kumusta na?" He asked.

"I'm doing good." I shortly answered making sure that we won't be having our conversation longer.

"I miss you."

I heard the frailty in his voice. It was so sincere. I felt the longing. I felt that he misses me the way I miss him but it's just not right. Kahit kailan, hindi na magiging tama.

My tear suddenly fell pero agad ko rin iyong pinunasan. Hindi pwede. Ayaw kong maawa siya sa akin at balikan ako dahil lang nakita nyang nasasaktan pa rin ako.

"Hindi ako nakatulog nang tama. I need to sleep, Ezekiel." I uttered and adjusted my seat para piliting makatulog na kahit hindi naman talaga ako inaantok.

"Good old days." He softly said with bitterness in his voice. "Naaalala mo? Kahit ilang beses na kitang niremind na Zeke na lang itawag mo sa akin, Ezekiel ka pa rin nang Ezekiel kasi 'yon 'yung lagi mong nababasa sa Messenger." He tried to sound happy pero bakas talaga sa boses niya ang panghihinayang.

"Stop it, please. Kailangan kong matulog." I commanded him. Ayaw kong maalala lahat ng 'yon because I'm trying my best to move on.

"Alam naman nating hindi ka talaga inaantok." He uttered and he's right. Ang tagal ko bago makatulog kaya malabong kakasakay ko pa lang ay inaantok na agad ako. "Bakit ka pala nawala sa reception? Kayong dalawa ni Von, actually. Wala tuloy akong kaibigan na nakapagbigay ng message."

"What do you want me to say? Gusto mo bang umiyak ako sa harap ng maraming tao kasi 'yung taong mahal ko, nakabuntis ng iba? Ganoon ba, Ezekiel?" I lost it. Nagtuloy-tuloy na ang pagpatak ng luha ko hanggang sa hindi ko na mapigilan. "You really believed that I was okay? Huh? I'm not okay. I don't know if I will ever be okay!" He was silenced. Hindi rin niya alam kung paanong sasagutin 'yung sinabi ko. "Kaya please, let's stop all these conversations as if we're okay with it kasi alam naman nating pareho na hindi talaga okay. Kung meron mang koneksiyon sa ating dalawa ngayon, hanggang sa trabaho na lang muna ang kaya kong tiisin."