Same Eternal Pattern

CHAPTER 1

"that's what they want:

a God damned show

a lit billboard

in the middle of hell.

that's what they want,

that bunch of

dull

inarticulate

safe

dreary

admirers of

carnivals".

"What they want" by Charles Bukowski.

I can see the rain pouring as I am standing close my bedroom's window. In just a matter of minutes I'm supposed to perform, and I know there's no way I'm avoiding being soaked by the rain on my way there.

I take my black leather jacket and put it on, I grab my keys and in the exact moment I'm heading off, someone knocks the door.

-No shit. - I whisper. I am going to be late. I open the door when a familiar big smile greets me.

-What are you doing here? I'm leaving. - I say.

-I'm happy to see you too, bro.- My sister's smile doesn't fade and she gets to break the shield that I was building with my own arms and passes through. She stares back at me as if she were studying me. – Where are you going?

- I'm performing tonight. Now, if you please, can you leave? I'll see you tomorrow, ok?

She nods and points at my hand. – And where's your guitar?

-Fuck. – I go back to my room and there it is. Standing on its stand, making me feel like a fool. It's not the first time I forget it. My head is a fucking mess lately.

-Have you called mum? - Gemma shouts from the hall.

-No, but I was going to. - I shout back. I return to where she is, and I catch her mocking me. - Shut your face. I really was.

- Yes, sure. Anyways, she told me to tell you that this weekend she's going to prepare a family dinner. You're in, right?

-Yes. I'm in.

-Great! So, my job here is done. - She claps her hands on her thighs and I nod staring at her waiting for her to keep talking.

-That's all you had to say? You know you just could've called me to tell me this, don't you?

- And you know you wouldn't pick your damn phone up, Harry. - Well, she was not wrong.

- Fuck off. -I say playing her own game.

-I love you! - She says as she's going through the door and heading the stairs.

-I love you too. - I mutter as I'm closing the door with my keys and heads to the lift.

- I knew it! - She shouts and the echoing of the stairs room makes her voice louder.

I smile as I close the door behind me.

***

I arrive at the backdoor of the bar soaked. There's no one to welcome me in. The vibe in here is so mysterious, everything is covered by shadows, just a few bulbs light a few tables and the stage's lightening are off. I feel my shoes full of water and I can hear the squishy sound they make as I walk. I growl at the sound. I shake my feet in the air in order to get the water out but the floor is so slippery that I end up falling down.