Same Eternal Pattern

CHAPTER 13

The wind howls against the closed windows of my shadowy bedroom causing my eyes to flutter open at the wailing harmony outside. A shiver runs through my body as I hide my neck under the covers. I reach my arm to my left expecting to feel Louis's body next to me, but all I find is more and more bed, no trace of him. I turn on the lights to confirm my suspicions. I blink quickly to adjust my eyes to the sudden brightness. Louis is not here.

I check my phone over my nightstand and as I turn it on, I notice I didn't remember to charge it last night, it's only at 20%. Shit. There's no messages, not calls. A slight feeling of unrest fills me at the lack of any trace of his presence. I get out of under the covers and I realize his clothes are not on the floor, where we left them hours ago, however, my clothes remain there now placed neatly over a chair.

I get my pants on quickly, even though I know I need an urgent shower, but I need to check the other parts of the house in case Louis is in one of them. Nothing. He's nowhere to be found. I order myself to keep calm. There has to be a good explanation. I go back to my room to check the phone again. It's not too late. It's just almost nine in the morning.

Our two cups of tea are still on the nightstands, which I take as a prove that I have not imagined the night before. I clear my space taking my cup and I go to the other side of the bed to pick up his as well, but there's something next to it that catches completely my attention. A white paper sheet folded in two. I take it after putting back the cups on the table and I sit on the edge of the bed quickly unfolding it. It's handwritten. What's this? I start reading.

Dear Harry,

I have to go to my sister's and pick Clifford up and you were sleeping so peacefully that I didn't want to wake you just to tell you this. But taking advantage of the little note, I thought this would be a great opportunity to fulfil your wish. I know this is not a song, and I'm not even sure this could be considered a love letter either, but just the thought of you just awaken reading this, with your messy curls and a grin on your face, I think it makes it worthy enough.

You have no idea what it's like to witness seeing your face the first thing in the morning. It makes me want to witness literally everything that it has do with you. Your voice, your hands, your eyes. It's too much, Harry. Understanding that I'm able to drown myself into your skin like we did last night, makes me crazy. It makes me feel things I've never felt before. It's a little scary, to be honest.

Yours Sincerely, Louis.

This is...What the fuck? I raise my head to check again my room, but my eyes stop at the image of me reflected at my mirror. A huge stupid smile, which I have not been aware until this moment, covers my face in its complete. I reread the letter so many times that I've memorised every word written. A sigh escapes from me involuntarily, I feel like there's something stuck in my throat, in my chest. No one has ever made me feel like this. Louis has become someone so important in my life so fast that I don't even know what to do about it. All I know is that I wished he was here right now.

His last line rumbles in my head. I understand. This is scary, feeling so deeply for someone, makes me shit my pants, but I guess even though our hearts are at stake, the feeling of being alive makes it worth it. It takes courage and braveness to love.