Same Eternal Pattern

CHAPTER 25

I wake up in my bed, and he's not here. His scent in my bedsheets is starting to fade, maybe it could be because of the fact that lately I can only sleep if I do it on his side of the bed. It's the only way I can still feel a little bit attached to him. I let out a sigh as I get up to go to the kitchen. I turn on the kettle and as I wait, I look for a good playlist to play.

I sit on my kitchen drinking my steamy cuppa when Champagne Supernova by Oasis starts playing.

Maybe I am being masochistic, and I know that by playing this song I'm not doing a very good job at detaching myself from him, but who said it would be easy? This song feels like the last string to connect me with him. I let myself drown in the memories of us dancing in the kitchen like no one were watching us. A sad smirk appears on my face as I recall the sound of his laugh and the wrinkles by his eyes, the feeling of his lips, his skin against mine. I don't know how much time it'll take me to forget him, but I do know it's not going to be soon. I keep repeating to myself that I will find somebody like him, that I will be able to feel the same I did when I was with him. It scares me the thought of never feeling it again. The memories fade away as soon as the song ends.

The next song plays and the melody of Wouldn't be nice by The Beach Boys comes out of the speakers and fills the whole room. I find myself singing along the chorus as I wash the cup I've used. The meaning of the lyrics of the song hit me as it has never done before.

"Happy times together we've been spending,

I wish that every kiss was never ending,

Oh, wouldn't it be nice?"

-Yeah, it would be nice. -I answer to the song and I feel stupid at that same instant.

The next song starts playing but I stop paying attention to it. I keep myself busy cleaning the house and changing the bedsheets once and for all. I have to take this step by step. I go from one room to the other when the doorbell rings. I am not expecting anyone, but It must be Gemma to catch up on how I'm doing. I leave the broom resting against one of the walls of the living room and I dodge the bedsheets that are laying on the floor which waiting for me to pick them up to put them in the washing machine.

I open the door expecting to see my sister but who is in the other side of the door leaves me petrified. It's like my feet are stuck to the floor. I can barely breathe.

-What are you doing here? -I ask.

-Have you already forgotten me? – Louis' voice sounds broken, and his eyes seem lost. He looks scared. He seems like he's lost something and he can't find it anywhere.

He's here. My Lou is here.

-What? – I ask confused.

-Your letter... -He puts one hand inside his pocket, and he takes out a ripped paper, which I recognize from my notebook, and he shows it to me. He looks at me waiting for an answer. But I get tongue-tied. -You have forgotten me, haven't you? -He asks me. His eyes are red, and his face is puffy.

-Lou, are you ok? – I open the door for him, but he doesn't come in.

-Harry, answer my question, please. -He sounds begging.

-Of course not, Lou.

It does not take long when I feel his hands on my hips pushing me against the wall. He brings my mouth to his. His touch is harsh, but I don't mind it, I take it all in. His taste, his flair, his everything. He runs both hands through my hair, tangling his fingers between my curls and his kiss deepens.