Same Eternal Pattern

CHAPTER 20

I'm waiting next to Martin's door. He hasn't arrived yet, but I know that he's not going to take too much more time to get here. Tonight's is finally show time, so I need to get over with all this as soon as possible. I sent him the demo of the song this morning, I'm not sure he has listened to it just yet, but if he hasn't, I will insist the times that they're needed.

The place is crowded by people walking one way and the other trying to get all the last details ready. The boys are backstage getting dressed but they know where I am. I showed them the demo and they all agree that it was good. All the compliments I received encouraged me to be here now.

I get a glimpse of Martin walking directly to his office, so I break apart from the wall I was leaning on to get ready for my meeting with him. I realize his posture turns rigid when he gets aware that I'm waiting for him. When he's close enough to me, he looks at me and tilts his head to me.

-What are you doing here again? -He asks.

-I want to talk to you.

He opens the door and leaves it open for me to go behind him. Then he sits in his chair and turns the computer on. When he's done getting all the place ready, he puts his elbows over the table, and he intertwines his fingers in front of him.

-I'm all ears. -He says looking at me.

-It's about the contest thing I told you yesterday. – He rolls his eyes at me when I start speaking. Not a good sign. I take a deep breath to calm the nerves that are already starting to peak. This man gets me irked without even saying a word. I need to relax If I want him to consider I'm being serious. -I've sent you a demo of the song this morning. – I try again. -I would like to use that one to get in the competition. I think it is good enough for me to get through the first phase.

-Yeah, I saw the file. -He says checking the screen of his computer. Great, good. One step forward.

-Have you already heard it?

-No, I haven't. -He says typing now on the keyboard.

-Oh, ok. Will you tell me what you think about it when you listen to it?

He tilts his head to the side as if the mere idea of it hurts him.

-That's the thing. I don't think I will. -He says without even turning to look at me.

Wait, what? Has he just said what I think he has said?

-Why not? - I ask him.

-Let's see. -Again, he intertwines his fingers to use it as a support for his jaw. He's looking straight at me now, but I don't like his stare a little. -This thing you're trying to do here. -he points at the space between us. -It's not worth it. I don't think you have the level to participate in the contest. You still have work to do to get there. You should just focus on tonight's show. That should be enough for you now.

-Excuse me? -I can't believe what I'm hearing. I begin to feel an anguish that it's growing and growing every second it passes.

-Harry...Really think about it. I'm making you a favour here. It's not worth your effort and it is absolutely not worth mine either.

-You didn't even listen to the song. -I tell him.

-And I don't need to. -He says turning back to the computer. I see in his face that he's already getting tired of me.

-How can you say that? The song is good. -My chest feels heavy. I try to regulate my breathings. I can't have a break down here.

-Is it really? -He asks with a superiority that consumes me, but he just continues with the typing.