Poison

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Monday morning came again as the sound of my alarm rang loudly. I reached for my phone and set it to snooze for another 15mins. I tried to shut my eyes and go back to sleep but I was far more excited to jump out of bed and get dressed.

My weekend was not really composed of boredom. I am an over-achiever which meant I had to study for all my subjects and maintain my grades. I guess you can say that it's boredom, but hey I can sometimes have fun. Sometimes.

Me and Connor head out to the beach and spent the entirety of Saturday, having a picnic. You can say it was another of those clichés, and dork-ish, but it was our way of trying to relax. He had a lot of upcoming practice for final football game so he's sort of making it up to me, he said.

Sunday was when I decided that I need to go home. I told him that I should be fine by myself, but he warned me if I ever hurt myself again then he'll have to stay with me again. I think that's really sweet of him and shows how much he truly cared for me. I love that aspect of Connor.

I stared blankly again at the ceiling before getting interrupted by my alarm. I groaned and this time, I got up from my bed and headed to the bathroom. For a split second, I caught a glimpse of my wounded wrist on the mirror. Then I winced at the slight pain in my heart as if it broke.

I am madly and deeply in love with Connor, but I am also engaged in some sort of twisted relationship with Roy.

Roy Lance, that mystery boy I met not so long ago that I immediately got hooked into. If he was a drug, then he's definitely a potent one. He told me what had exactly happened a few weekend's ago on his nephew's birthday. He told me how he was flirting with me, when I was wasted, how he almost kissed me if I was not too scared.

I shuffled inside our medicine cabinet until I found a small box where I keep my razor blade. My mind is so clouded right now that all I want is to hurt myself. I needed some distraction to keep me out of my head. Just one cut won't hurt, right?

To be honest, I am addicted to this pain. I have done this for a while now, neither of my parents know. I always have an excuse if they see a small scar somewhere on my arm so it they just let it go. Plus I've learned first aid so if it got worse, I can always help myself.

I stepped out of the bathroom, to hear the sound of my phone ringing again, but not from my alarm. Connor was calling me already. A small smile formed on my face as I answered the call.

"Hey babe, good morning." I cooed. "Good morning babe." He murmured back at me. I love to hear his sleepy voice in the morning. It's soothing. "You're up early. Are you feeling better?" He asked. 

Yeah you know, I just hurt myself again cuz I need an escape. "Much better now because you called." I teased, glancing at my still open wound. Fresh blood slowly trickle out of it but not too much. "I'm getting dressed for school. Are you going to pick me up today?"

"Yeah I will. My dad asked me to return the books he borrowed last week, so I thought I can pick you up and we can go to school together."

"Here I thought I was going to drive myself to insanity today. I'll see you soon then. I love you Connor."

"I'll see you soon. Love you too Dale." He hang up and if I could throw my phone in disgust right now, I would reluctantly not do the deed. "Pathetic." I told myself. How could I love the person that was willing to give his all to me when I am just taking advantage of it? I don't want to lose him as much as he doesn't want me to.

I went downstairs and sat at the dining table. Mum was usually the first to get up to make breakfast but this time Dad was the first. "Hey Dad, you're up early." I filled up my glass with some juice and grabbed a couple of toasts. 

"I wanted to surprise your Mum today. It's our 'anniversary'." He grinned like a child. "Anniversary? I thought it won't be until three months from now." I asked, confused.

"What I meant was this was the day when I first met your Mum when we were still in Uni. I was a total dork and she was a hot mess. I'm surprised that she still picked me over any other guys that hang out with her." He smiled, recalling all the memories they had.

I emptied my glass of juice and filled it halfway. "You would not have me or Keri if that was the case."

"That's actually true." He pulled out a small tray and arranged the food he prepared for Mum and headed to their room. "By the way, how did you and Connor first met?" He turned around.

"Remember that one concert I begged you guys about? He was there too with his cousins, he said that he just got dragged. Then we snuck out of the event and the rest was history." This time it was my turn to remember how it happened. He was wearing a plain blue shirt topped with a black plaid jacket and jeans. I was wearing a pink plaid shirt and black jeans. We instantly clicked. We fell for each other right away. 

I sat down the couch as I waited for Connor to arrive. As I was scrolling through my Facebook feed, a friend request notification popped up. Roy Lance sent you a friend request.

Before I accepted his request, I decided to stalk him a bit. His profile picture was just himself facing against the camera, topless at the beach. His profile banner was him and Grace possibly at the same beach. I scrolled down a bit and found some pictures of him, Grace, May, his other sister, nephew and his parents.

How could this boy like me if he loved his girlfriend as well? I cannot possibly think of any reason for him to do that. I mean same goes for me but we're just out of luck.

I hesitantly accepted his friend request, and then he sent me a message. 

Wanna hang out after school? x

I wanted to reply back to him but all I can think of right now is Connor, as I heard him knock on our front door. "Hey Connor." I greeted him and kissed him on his lips.

"Hi Dale, is your Dad around? My dad wanted to thank him for lending these books." He handed me over a bag which contained the items. "He is but he's with Mum right now." I placed the bag on top of the coffee table, and I led him out, making our way to his car.

"I see. Anyways, got any plans after school? I was thinking we could hang out at my place. Coach Miller called off on our practice today so I'm pretty much free."

"Sure I can! I am always available for you." I responded back to him, excited. We got in his car and we drove to school.

FUCK I FORGOT ABOUT ROY. HOPE HE DOESN'T MIND.

Eh, whatever. 

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