I Can't Love You

Crush

Chris POV

Waking up was not my strong suit, so when Isaac came in to tell me bye I was not thrilled.

"Dad, I am going to that appointment. I love you." Isaac says giving me a hug.

I grumble and I love you too and roll over. I hear my door click shut. I look at my clock, it is 8 am.

"Fuck, I need some coffee," I say to myself.

I roll over a few more times and then decide to get up. I head downstairs and start to make a pot of coffee; no doubt Derek would want some. Ever since he has been coming around, I found myself making two pots of coffee, between him and Isaac they could drink a whole pot without me.

So, I make a full pot and cross my fingers that, that is enough.

I pour a steaming cup and take a sip.

"Mm mm....like heaven in a cup," I say to myself.

I take a seat at the bar and start reading the newspaper.

I hear the stairs groan, as I assume Derek is coming down the stairs.

He walks into the kitchen, his dark hair sticking up all over. He is cute, in a way I cannot explain.

We talk and I finish my coffee.

I am hungry and by the sounds of Derek's stomach, he is too, so I decide to make pancakes. It turned out to be a good morning.

Derek leaves the house, and it is empty again.

I let out a breath I did not know I was holding. It is always worse when you are alone and left with thoughts in your brain.

I make myself busy, I clean, and I make bullets. I can do this; Isaac and Allison will be home soon.

Derek POV

I make it home. My mother and father have both gone to work and Stiles and Scott are at school. I feel that ache in my stomach, it happens when I am alone. I make myself busy, I clean and go for a run. Someone will be home soon.

I head to my room fresh from the shower. I can hear Scott and Stiles downstairs. I smile, glad to have them home. I hate being alone, it makes me aware of all the thoughts in my brain that I do not want to think about. The pain of being manipulated by Peter and knowing that I ruined an amazing man's life. It has been a year now since all that shit went down. We are still living it and I am afraid that it is the only thing that Chris is ever going to associate me with. I cared about him, and I will leave it at that.

I shake my head as I walk toward the kitchen.

I see Scott and Stiles and it makes me smile.

"Sup, bros?" I speak.

They both turn to me with smiles on their faces.

"Where the hell were you last night?" Stiles asks as he takes a bite of an apple.

"Yeah," Scott adds as he and Stiles sit at the table.

I take a seat as well.

"I'm not sure why I am getting this third-degree situation. I was only at Isaac's." I say getting nervous for no reason.

"You seem...lighter," Scott says.

"Hmm...I think he means you look happy." Stiles says.

I laugh. I had not thought about it, but I was feeling good.

"So, Ima needs all the deets!" Stiles says excitedly.

"Are you back with Isaac??" Scott asks a smile on his face.

"Guys, really nothing happened last night. I just went for a run and hung out with Chris...Mr. Argent, he caught me running in their backyard." I say innocently.

"Oh shitttt, he saw you naked!!" Stiles yells jumping out of his chair.

"You are stupid," I say chuckling.

"Stiles, we have to get the whole story...what else happened?" Scott asked.

"What do you mean, we sat and talked for a couple of hours then I went to bed in Isaac's room, and then we had pancakes in the morning." I cannot help but smile as I say these things.

"You and Isaac had pancakes, or you and daddy Argent had pancakes?" Stiles asks wiggling his eyebrows.

My thoughts stopped, was he saying what he was saying. Chris would never. I mean with our past and the fact that I am super positive that he is not gay.

"OH MY GOD!!" I say as I die laughing.

Scott and Stiles are both staring at me with serious faces.

"What is so funny?" Scott asks.

I compose myself.

"Look Mr. Argent and I had coffee and pancakes together, but if you are insinuating that, that means anything more than platonic, I cannot help but laugh. Two serious factors here boys, Chris is not gay, and we have a horrible history. The man wants to shoot me, not date me."

"Scotty, Derek has a crush. Did you hear him call him Chris? Ohhh la la!" Stiles says smiling.

I punch him in the shoulder.

"HEY...I'm just saying the obvious." He says rubbing his shoulder with his hand.

"Do you have a crush on daddy Argent?" Scott asks seriously.

"First off we are not calling him daddy Argent and second I haven't really thought about him like that. Don't get me wrong he's a cool person, but why think about the impossible." I speak.

"OMGGGGGGG!! SCOTTY, HE HAS A CRUSH!!" Stiles is yelling and running around the kitchen.

I grab both by the ears my wolf eyes exposed "Look we are not saying anything to anyone about this and until I understand what the hell is even going on you won't even talk to Isaac about it. Got it?" I growl.

They both nod at me as I let them go.

"We got you, bro," Stiles says as he heads to his room to do homework.

Scott gives me a hug as he says "If you need to talk just let me know. We do love you; you know."

I smile, Scotty was always the mushy type and Stiles always had a joke about everything, but they were my brothers, and they did love me.

"Yeah, I love you too," I say as I head to my room.

The excitement in the kitchen had triggered a migraine. As a wolf, we are not impervious to pain, and still, get headaches.

I lay down on my bed and of course, my thoughts go to him, Chris.

Fuck, Stiles is right. How did this even happen, I was not even interested this way ever. I close my eyes.

Fuck, now I must deal with these bullshit emotions and the automatic rejection.

Because there is no way I would even try to entertain the idea of me and Chris. We are so opposite.