I Can't Love You

Monster Supportive

Derek's POV

Chris has never been to my apartment. I was hoping I had cleaned up from the last time I was here. It wasn't too big just a normal studio apartment. My apartment is on the top floor, Chris and I walk in silence as he struggles up the steps. I offer my hand on several occasions and he declines. I am starting to get a little frustrated, why is he so stubborn?

We are on the last set of stairs and it takes everything in me not to just pick him up and take him to the door of my apartment. I let him make his way up by himself even though he sounds winded and all the color has drained from his face. He takes a break at the door and gives me a weak smile.

"Argent, you are entirely too infuriating, you know that?" I growl as I open the door.

"Yeah, and the same could be said about you." He says to me as he takes a seat on the couch in the living room.

"Why the hell are you stubborn?" I growl.

"Let's just say it's part of my charm." He says wincing as he adjusts his arm.

My face softens as I realize he's probably in a good amount of pain.

"Do you want something to eat?" I ask all my annoyance for the man dissipating.

"Are you going to cook for me?" He asks with a smile on his face.

"I mean I'm not sure what I have in the kitchen but I can whip up a couple of things," I say blushing.

Argent smiles at me and I can feel my heart swelling. I love that man and I would do absolutely anything for him. I go to the kitchen and start to search the cabinets. I haven't been here in a few days and I was hoping I had something that was worth cooking. Spaghetti, eggs, and parmesan cheese, well poor man's Carbonara it is. I get to work.

After about half an hour food is done and I head to the living room with a bowl of pasta. Chris is fast asleep on the couch in a rather uncomfortable position. He's sitting up, the uninjured arm above his head, and his head is resting on his chest.

I place the bowls of pasta on the coffee table and kneel down in front of the couch. "Chris, honey," I say as I brush his hair out of his face.

"Hmmm, oh shit, I fell asleep." He mumbles as he rubs his eyes.

I laugh and say "It's ok, you've had a tiring day."

He looks at the bowls on the table. "Der, that looks delicious." He says grinning.

We both dig in.

After lunch Chris says that we need to talk and I know what it's about, he knows I've been acting a bit distant and I knew he wouldn't forget to ask me about it.

"So, what's going on? Has this whole injury shaken you?" He asks gesturing to his body.

"It's just I've put you in such a dangerous situation and I feel like anytime you get hurt that I am the one to blame.." I stop as he cuts me off.

"Derek, I am a grown-ass adult. The dangers I put myself in are my own. This is my line of work. This is my life. I've been doing this for a long time. I think you've gotten scared because you don't usually see the behind-the-scenes when I have to take time to heal." He says holding my hand.

"I guess you are right, but there's more to it," I say taking a deep breath and he squeezes my hand.

"I keep...I keep having these dreams where my wolf takes over and I can't control it. And I'm afraid that in order to defeat Peter, this is the route I am going to have to take. The problem is I don't know if I can come back from it and I am afraid I am going to hurt the people close to me." I say looking into Chris's eyes.

He hugs me, in a deep embrace, saying all the things we could never put into words. I was still anxious about what the future held but I had some hope, some hope that maybe things would be ok. Maybe with Chris beside me, I could fight the beast inside me, maybe I could keep my humanity and not become the monster everyone thinks I am.