I Can't Love You

I Wanted to Touch the Chris Topic

Chris POV

Derek...kissed me. I am lying in my bed, so drunk. And Derek kissed me. I am unable to process what is happening. I cannot process it. Am I having a midlife crisis? Am I gay?

I cannot even deny that I did not kiss him, because I full-on kissed him. I do not even know how to approach this situation. I know we have been talking and getting to know each other, but I never saw this coming.

My head hurt; I did not want to think about this. I needed to go to sleep.

Derek POV

I finished the bottle of whiskey, and I had not moved from the jacuzzi. I know I should have called Isaac so I could go home, but I did not want to spoil his fun. I knew this was a bad idea, yet the hopeful part of me, the part that just wants to be loved came out. I also might be a little insane after what I just pulled. How did I think that kissing my best friend's dad was a good idea? I am such an asshole. Chris should have punched me. How do I even tell Isaac, he is going to know something is wrong.

My mind is racing, and I am having trouble staying above water, so I decided to get out, I wrap the towel around me and stretch out on one of the chairs by the pool. Not feeling deserving of going in the house. I am so angry with myself, why do I make such bad decisions. I pull the towel close to me and I start to cry, I cry myself to sleep.

Isaac is shaking me awake, I open one eye and notice it is still dark out.

"Dude are you ok?" He asked.

My initial response was to say no, but then we would have to dive into that bullshit, so I told him I was fine, just drunk.

He grabs my clothes off the ground and helps me to his room.

Thank God for Isaac, he was always picking up the pieces of me and putting them back together.

Once we were in his room, he helped me change into a pair of his sweats and put a blanket over us, and held me.

The way the night had been and how Isaac was always so loving to me just broke me.

I started to sob, uncontrollably.

"Oh honey, are you ok?" Isaac is staring at me with concern

"Just...a rough night...too much to drink." I choke out in between sobs.

Isaac just holds me close and tries to soothe me.

Eventually, we both fall asleep.

Chris POV

I woke up to the sound of my phone ringing. I did not recognize the number.

"Hello?" I answer.

"Mr. Argent, how are you? I have a job for you." The man on the phone says.

The next thing I know I am jumping in the shower and heading to the airport on my way to Japan. I did not- have time to say goodbye to Isaac or Allison so I left them a note on the fridge. These trips were not anything new and I knew they would not be surprised, but I was going to be gone for around a month so I was not thrilled, but it would give me time to think.

I sat on the plane trying to think about anything other than Derek. I just do not get how we got to this point. Was I flirting with him? I mean I was being nice to him, which is weird for us, but was I showing interest and did not know. It has only been a year since Victoria, I am a mess. Derek is also a werewolf; my brothers might understand Isaac in my life but Derek that is a hard pill to swallow. I mean why am I even entertaining this idea.

I made the decision on the plane that I was going to go Derek free until I came back and if I still had unresolved feelings, we would talk about it.

Derek POV