Mr. and Mrs. Carter: I Need You Tonight

Chapter 28

June 19, 2005 Key West, Florida
LILI'S POV
I went back upstairs to wake Nick up.

I opened the door and smiled at the sight of him sleeping.

He was so perfect, and I loved him with all my heart.

I made my way over to him and gently shook him.

"Nick, it's time to get up."

"Huh?" he opened his eyes and blinked.

"It's morning, and I made you breakfast." I said, sitting down next to him on the bed.

"Thanks baby." he smiled. His morning voice was so attractive. He got up and brushed his teeth before coming back.

"Fun night huh?" he grinned.

I returned his smile. "Mhm. You tired me out."

"I'm still trying to decide whether I like doggy or cowgirl better."

I shook my head and laughed. "Oh Nick."

"What?" he shrugged. "Maybe I'll need a reminder."

"Eat your food." I chuckled, giving him the tray.

"What about you? Have you eaten?" he asked, taking it.

"Yeah." I nodded, and watched him eat, handing him a napkin.

"Thanks." Nick wiped his mouth when he was finished.

"No problem." I leaned over and took his plate.

"So," Nick started, when I finished. "I think we should talk a little, about the past three years."

I looked down. "I guess."

"Look, I know it's hard. Trust me. But I want you to trust me." Nick held my shoulders.

"I do trust you Nick, but I just want to pretend like those three years never existed." I put my head on his chest.

"That's not right either." Nick gave me a hug. "They happened, unfortunately, and we learned from them. We've moved on, but it's time to fully complete the process. Together." he looked down at me.

"Okay." I sighed.

We sat down on the couch next to each other.

"What do you wanna know?" I gave a humorless laugh.

Nick thought for a moment. "When was the first time you started doing meth?"

I fiddled with my shirt. "It was during filming, this guy, he was a substitute for the props manger that day. He offered me some, and I felt really nervous, since it was being filmed in front of a live audience."

"How old were you?" Nick asked.

I turned away, ashamed. "Twenty."

"Twenty? When we were still together?" Nick widened his eyes.

I nodded. "I'm sorry Nick."

Nick sighed. "Don't worry, I shouldn't even be saying anything. I did them too, during the Black and Blue tour. The guys and were driven apart and overwhelmed with all the success, and I just did them."

I stared at him, he looked reflective.

"So that's that."

"Yeah." I leaned back.

"Okay, my turn to ask." I looked at him. "Did you love Paris?"

Nick hesitated.

"Well, I think a part of me did. I mean, for the most part, she was okay. But really, the only time we weren't at each other's throats was when we were drunk and high." Nick shook his head. "I think I was so desperate to actually love her, that I did, a little bit. But nothing like you. I do love you completely."

I smiled softly. That was pretty much the answer I expected from him.

"Okay, I don't know if you'll want to answer this one, but I'll ask it." Nick took a deep breath. "Why did you marry Kenneth?"

I tucked my hair behind my ear. "I didn't want to, but it was forced. He threatened to hurt Britney, and I didn't want to lose anyone else. Plus, I was at a weak point, so that wasn't much help."

Nick bit his lip. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be." I gave a forced smile. "It's okay."

"It's not." Nick's voice broke. "If I hadn't been so, so stupid, none of this would've happened. Maybe we wouldn't have become addicts like we did, you wouldn't have married Kenneth, you wouldn't have lost your son. This all my goddamn fault. It's always some shit that I do." Nick's lips were trembling.

"Nick, no. Don't say that." I pulled him in, and gave him a hug, and he started crying softly.

I rubbed his back while he cried on my shoulder. "It's okay Nick, let it all out." I kissed his head.

"It is my fault though." Nick pulled away and wiped his eyes.

"Nick, it's not. Maybe all this was meant to happen." I brushed the side of his face. "Either way, we're both still here, alive and healthy. Right now, that's all the matters. Don't beat yourself up over it. We may never know why things went out like this for us, but we do know that we can learn from it and become better people and not repeat mistakes from the past. Okay?"

Nick smiled softly. "God, what would I do without you?" he pulled me closer and put his arms around me.

I put my head on his shoulder.

"Honestly, I don't know what I would do with you." I closed my eyes. "We've known each other for ten years now. I don't know how I lived before that."

"Time goes by fast." Nick intertwined his hand with mine. "Seems like only yesterday we were fifteen and I was trying to flirt with you. Badly."

I grinned. "It was cute though. You certainly have a charm." I kissed his cheek.

Nick smiled, happy.

"Well, we have to meet everyone for lunch in a few hours. What should we do meanwhile?"

Nick thought for a moment. "I've always had this idea. It's kinda cheesy really, but I've always wanted to recreate that one scene from Titanic."

I raised an eyebrow. "Which one?"

Nick grinned and looked down. "Ya know, where the Heart of the Ocean plays it's most important role. In my opinion."

"Oh. That scene." I laughed. "Is that just another excuse to get me to take off my clothes?"

Nick blushed. "Maybe. But it crossed my mind once years ago."

"But we don't have a Heart of the Ocean."

"Sure we do." Nick tapped the diamond circle around my neck.

"Not exactly that, but hey, it works." Nick shrugged.

"Alright then." I smiled.

"Really? You don't think I'm weird?" Nick tilted his head.

I laughed. "Nick, you're the weirdest person I know. But I love you for that, so I'll do it."

Nick grinned. "Perfect." he looked around. "Now, where is my damn pencil? I'm always losing that thing, I swear to God."

"Nick, it's behind your ear, as usual." I plucked it.

"Oh." Nick looked at it. "Oops."

I shook my head and chuckled. This was going to be interesting.

I couldn't wait to marry him.