𝐕𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐞 𝐇𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐫 ✰ 𝕚𝕞𝕒𝕘𝕚𝕟𝕖𝕤

i'm right here ^

- kinda sad content :/
- cringe warning lol
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i was forced to watch them from a distance. the way he'd make her laugh and she'd bump his arm. the way he'd take her to all my favorite places. all of it hurt me to the core and he didn't even know. he'd just come back home and tell me how much he loved her.

i wanted to be her more than anything. why wasn't it me he loved? what was i missing? i knew her like the back of my hand. it got so bad that i started picking up her mannerisms. i knew what perfume she wore. i knew what she did that drove him crazy.

but she was perfect and i wasn't. she had the thick brown hair and the skinny waist. she had the clear skin and the golden brown eyes. she had the skin care routine and the workout routine. she was put together but fell apart just enough to be normal enough for him.

i fell apart constantly. i had no motivation for a skin care or workout routine. i was lucky if i could find a reason to get dressed. i just wanted to smell like her. i just wanted to taste like her. i wanted to be what he craved.

i could wear her lipstick and i could use the same shampoo but i'd never be her. i could be the girl he came home to but i'd never be the girl he'd always come home to. soon enough he'd be moving out and moving in with her in their new cute apartment with a city view.

he'd forget all about me because i was just his friend and the girl he happened to be stuck rooming with. i was always so close to him but not close enough. i had an impression on him but not in the way she did.

i couldn't hate her. she was perfect. so sweet. so good for him. such a good girlfriend. if i could take her away from him i wouldn't. she was much better than i could ever be. she was his and he was hers. they were so perfect. so healthy.

he was finally happy and i got to hear all about it. i listened to him constantly go on and on talking about how beautiful she was and how much she made him feel cared for. he talked about how he'd never felt this loved. he was so in love.

as much as it hurt me, as much as it destroyed me, i just needed him to be happy. i'd keep watching from a distance and listening to his earfuls. i'd keep living with him until he leaves. i'd keep cooking him meals for the days he wasn't eating with her. i'd keep doing his laundry, washing her lipstick off of his collars. i'd keep rinsing her smell from his clothes.

i'm right here but she's so much better. right?

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- i kinda hate this 😀
- idk i kinda like it but also no❤️
- anyways i love everyone who reads these <3

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