Nesta Alone

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A slightly kinder one, about when Nesta realizes she's pregnant and needs to tell Cassian.

___

She gave Cassian one last hug before letting go. Seeing him fly of with the other troops. She was not due to leave with the Valkyries for another two days. The small elite group would help in the battle more inland. She needed to geta grip on herself, Cassian was more then capable of war, he was the greatest warrior she reminded herself. And focused on her breathing, pushing all the worries and fears away.

Nesta walked into the tent where Feyre and Rhys was working on the strategies, Tarquin and Helion was there too. The map in front of them marked the war zone. Pieces marking the different parts of the armies spread out.

"Cass and his legion has left. Keep me updated..." She said getting ready to leave. "You can resume your meeting." Fear, Nesta hated the fealing. And now it came closer, mowing in form ouside.

"Ness wait." Feyre came up to her. "I can walk you to your tent."

"No need." Nesta said to her sister.

"There is a need, first time I saw Rhys in battle for real... Gods above I couldn't move."

"Well, I am not you." Nesta said back, fasting her steps. She herself was going out in battle, she needed to stop being afraid.

"Ness." Feyre said. And Nesta snaped.

"That is what Cassian calls me, not you." Nesta froze as she spoke. That fealing of fear had taken her. Rendering her mind and body out of controll.

"Nesta..." Nesta started to cry as Feyre gave her a hug. "He will be fine. And you too."

"I know... I know..." She sobed, hating herself for falling to pieces like this. "Will you stay with me? Just for dinner?"

"Of curse."

The two sisters got inside Nestas tent, talking about the war, training, family. Feyre was worried about Nyx, who just had gone out for a shorter scouting mission with Azriel. The argument that had been lost over his involvement in the war, one where Feyre wanted him to stay in the camps, Rhys wanted Nyx and Feyre to stay in Velaris. And the yong boy had won over Azriel to take him on a mission.

"I know he will be fine, but it almost hurts to let him go like..." Feyre stoped mid sentence, her eyes winded. "Nesta..."

"What?" She didn't understand what had made her sister freeze like that. What made her stare at her. "Is it Nyx? Cass?" She aksed. Did her sister just receive information about the battle. "Feyre, what is it?"

"Are you still taking you contraceptive?" Nesta got confused, why was she asking that, that had nothing to do with the war.

"Yes or... No, I haven't been abel since we arrived here..." Nesta realized what had happened. "Gods above..." They had lived in this camp for almost three months. She and Cass had sex, a way to get ther mindes on something else then the batles, the War. And now...

"I am pulling you from the valkyrie forces." Feyre said. "And I am making sure Cassian comes back. Soon." Nestas world started to spin.

"No..." Nesta said still in shock the world so distent to her. "Don't tell him, it will distract him. What... What will happen now?" She then asked. Letting her hand touch her abdomen. The spinning slowed down for a bit.

"I will send you back to Velaris, you will be safer there..." Feyre said. "I am so happy for you..."

"I don't what to be alone.. I am staying." Nesta didn't want to be alone, not when the nausea made her throw up, or her feelings got extreme. She didn't want to lose Cassian, and do this all alone. She refused to be alone.

"You can't stay here. I will not be abel to look Cass in the eyes and tell him that you lived here... But I can make sure that someone comes by and lives with you." Feyre gave her a small smile. "You have my word that I will do all I can to get Cass home as fast as we can. To end this war before he och she is born." Nesta only looked at her sister and said.

"And I will hold you to it... Don't let my Mate die Feyre."

And with that Nesta was send home to the House of Winds. Not alone, Armen lived with her but the two of them might just as well been living in separate houses. Feyre visited as often as she could. Updating Nesta on the progress, or lack ther of. For the war dragged on. One week became two, three, a month. One and a half two...

Every morning she sat by the toilet, and at night she cried alone. Sometimes of happiness, but most of loneliness. Armen did keep her company, but the small female was not the most sympathetic one. Talking about the war, what was happening on the continent, and more... Cassian's group had needed to be moved again, before Feyre got the chance to tell him to get back. The Valkyries had won there battle, and was now advancing to meet Cassian's forces from the other side.

Two and a half months, She was not showing yet. Madja han confirmed wings, but no gender. And all Nesta could do was to hope that Cassian was going to show up. For she would not have this baby alone.

___

She was lying in bed, trying to get some sleep. Insomnia had become her newest friend in this process. Always tired, but never sleeping. Naps was her thing. Short naps during the day and shorter moments of sleep during the night.

The tieds had turned in the battle, thanks to the Valkyries merging with Cassian's legion. Had Feyre told her earlier in the day. But no word had come on Cass... Nesta had only told her sister thanks, and then said that she could leave. After that she had been crying in her beed, holding out for some hope.

She heard the foot steps from him before she sensed his sent. The sound of weapons being taken of, and a tired sigh. She got up quicker then she ever done before, running down to se her Mate. Tears running down her face. He was home.

Cassian was tired, his hair a mess, a new scare decorated his jaw. He still wore his fighting leathers, still dirty from the beatles. Nesta didn't care that about that. Three months apart came to an end as she threw her self in his arms. Crying.

"You are home..." She sobbed. "Home..."

"I am home Ness." Cassian said. Holding her closely. "And we are wining... Why weren't you with the valkyries..." He stopped taking in her sent. "You..." his eyes widened and he released his gripp in her. 

"I found out after you left, and didn't wanna scare or distract you..." She started. Cassian said nothing, just laid his hand on her abdomen. A small bump was there, Nesta had only notice it in the mornings. But now it was there, and Cass felt it.

"Ness..." He cried, lifting her up again. "I love you..."

"It has wings..." She said. And in that moment, seeing Cassian's face light up of happiness, Nesta for the first time in three months felt joy over the child growing inside her. She would not walk the rest of this journey alone. 

____ 

A little less heartbreaking I hope! 

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/Mymymoon

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