Trying

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I will put a trigger and content warning on this one. It will loosely touch on Gwyns assault, and there will be more sexual content in this one.

This one is inspired by a conversation between and a friend about Azriel and Gwyn. We talked about how his and Gwen's relationship will continue on and develope.

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He entered his champers, his mind occupied by the days work. It had been a long four days in the spring court, holding an eye on the escalating situation there. Azriel sighed and let his wings drop down for a moment. Gwyn moved on the bed, his girlfriend was sleeping right there.

Not sleeping his shadows whispered. As on que, Gwyn moved, her red hair was in braids for the night.

"You are home." She said. "And one day erlier then you said."

"Yes... Did I wake you?" Azriel took of his shirt and pants.

"No... I couldn't sleep..." He heard how she drew a breath. Slowly he turned to face her. She had a silk nightgown with one of its straps hanging off her shoulder. Azriel took in the sight of her, the teal eyes now open and meeting his. The intens stare that only Gwyn could do. The one that made him want to bow down to her. In the last months of them being together, of her sleeping in his bed. He had found a way to handel feelings and thoughts, to wait for her to make any move. But now, it took way more from Azriel then he liked to not trow himself over the bed and her.

"Bad dreams?" He asked, hoping to ease the tension that had started to build in the room.

"Yes... some last night... It is worse with you gone." She puled up her knees, the night gown moving to expose her legs.

"But now I am home." Az said back.

"Now you are home." She echoed. Az didn't dare to move. To disturb how she was siting there, how her arms wrapped around her legs. Months of training showed on her body, both in smalers cuts and bruises, and in the muscles she had gained under her skin. Az moved, siting down on the bed, his wings still hanging low.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He placed his hand over her arm.

"It is the same old one... But sometimes I am in the forest, and sometimes in Sangravah." She moved and layed back in the bed.

"And this time?" Azriel asked, doing the same. Still holding his hand over her arm.

"Sangravah..." She whispered back. "I hate the power they still have over me..."

"Hey... Things take time to heal from..." He should know that. "Everyday you are taking small steps forward, that is healing."

"But It feels like I also takes bigger steps backwards everyday I don't leave this house." Gwyn mumbeld.

"If I could I would never leave this place." Az said, moving his hand to her face, stroking his thumb over her cheek. "You will get there one day." Gwyn placed her hand over his. Moving closer. Slowly Azriel truned, making sure his wings was placed somewhat comfortable as he laid on his back, as Gwyn moved over him placing a gentle kiss onto his lips. His hands moved to her waist. Where he knew he could hold her without problem. Without triggering any memories. Gwyn deepinge the kiss slowly letting her body press onto his, and Az tightened his grip with one hand and letting the other travel along her spine to her head. She broke the kiss.

"I want to try..." She said her breath fast and sharp. Azriel looked for fear in her eyes, for any sign of hesitation or uncertainty. Finding none.

"Are you sure?" He just asked, moving his hand to her cheek again.

"Yes..." She kissed him again and Az moved his other hand to her leg, making sure she was siting over his hips. That position alone was enough for him to feal the strain against his underwear. Gwyns hands moved over his chest, making him close his eyes to take in the fealing of her, and only her. He let his own hands move under the gown, slowly moving the silk up her legs and back. Revealing her simpel undergarments. Nothing extra or crazy.

Gwyn broke the kiss again to take the gown of, and Az fund it hard to breath at the sight of her exposed body in front of him.

"Do you want to go further?" He asked his hand resting on her legs.

"Yes..." His shadows moved around her, searching for any hesitation and found nothing. Gwyn moved gown towards his lips again. "But you need to guide me..."

"I will..." There lips meet again, and Azriel closed his eyes. His fingers moving over her legs, hips, waist. Her own hands moved over his chest. Azriel moved her hips against his, even with the fabric separating them the fricktion made him draw a strained breath. This was more then anything else they had done. More skin to skin, more movements. He moved one hand to her back, and turned them, gently placing her down under him, he opened his eyes, taking in her teal, the flushed cheeks, her lips. A short pause, he felt her hands resting on his back, just below his wings... He could smell her arousal, mixing with his, he could fell her wetness, her need.

His shadows moved around them, revealing his excitement, his need. He moved, placing his weight back on his legs and knees, leaving his hands free to remove the last fabric between them. Hes hand rested at the edge of her underwear. And his shadows stilled.

Fear. One word and he stoped. Removing his hands, looking into her eyes and he saw it too. Her face frozen, tence. Azriel moved back, making sure she was free to move. He gave her one of the blankets they had in the bed, and waited. Gwyn grabbed the blanket, pulling it to cover herself. Azriel wasn't sure what he could say now, how he could support her in the right way now.

"I am sorry..." Gwyn whispered. And he flinched at her words.

"No... Don't be." Azriel said back, letting his hand rest on her arm over the blanket. "I should be sorry for not guiding you more..."

"No Az..." Gwyn sat up, still with the blanket over her. "I... I should have known that I wasn't ready. I should never had put you in that situation."

"Did... What did I do that made you scared?" He asked, he wanted to know, so he could avoid it in the future.

"I... I am not sure..." Gwyn whispered. "It could have been the position, or it could have been that you started to remove the underwear."

"I am sorry." Az said again. "I should have been more careful."

"It was... I just wanted to close my eyes, to let your touch guide me..." Gwyn started, her voice trembling slightly. "But it wasn't your hands, it was that males..." Azriel lowered his head, not sure what to say. If his touch was what triggered the memories, could she ever move on? Could he ever be close to her and not force her to remember her worst memory. Gwyns hand took his.
"Next time... Can I be the one that undress myself? That might help..."

"Of course..." he squeezed her hand. "Do you want me to hold you?"

"Yes..." Azriel pulled her close, the blanket creating a barrier between them. And he held her tight the entier night. 

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Just realized that every time I've felt the need to have a content warning of some kind, it's on a Gwynriel headcannon. Maybe I should try to learn to write something about those two, who do not need a warning. But what did you think of this one? 

I really hope a similar scene will come up in one of the future books. Just because I want to see Azriel comfort someone. (Am I weird if I do not want any sex scene between them? Just lots of snuggles?)

Vote, Comment, Share!!!!

/Mymymoon

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