A Court of Shorts and Storys

What If: No Red Roses Part 1

This will be a different type of headcanon. What would happen if Feyre never called for Rhys on her wedding day? Warning for extremly long and you might need som tisues once you are done.  This is an extremly long chapter, even if it is in two parts. Read and have tissues ready

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White rose pedals decorated the way to the altar. And there, at the end of her walk, stood Tamlin. His hand reaching for her. Feyre stoped, she was too broken for him, too damaged. Too dirty. Her hands still covered in the Faes blood. Ianthe talked to her, her hand outstretch. Feyre didn't heard her words, but she started to walk again, hoping that if she took Tamlins hand, then they could work this out together, then she could sit at his side. All the things that had happened the past three month, it was a slow growth, even if he refused her to leave the manor unmonitored,but they had hundreds of years together. Hundred of years for her to maybe one day wash the last blood from her hands, and maybe in the end, he one day could accept her leaving the grounds.

I need time, but the time starts with Tamlin. She took his hand, the gloves hiding the tattoo. She didn't hear Ianthes words in the ceremony, she didn't hear the audience applause. She just stood there, forcing a smile on her face, trying to keep her head over the waters.

Time, I have time to heal. Things happen around her, and soon they had moved to there bedroom, Tamlins bedroom. He removed her clothes, taking her down to the bed. Feyre let her body react, to just feal his hands and react to what they did. Hoping that maybe the sex, and his body agienst hers could heal some parts of her broken soul.

She didn't fall asleep after, just laid awake, staring at the tattoo. Wondering when Rhysand would call in this bargain. Just lett me have this first time with Tamlin. Just let me heal a bit. She closed her eyes and hoped for some sleep. But it never came. Night after night, sleep never came to her. Only when she was exhausted, and then nightmares haunted her, forcing her awake.

It was almost better when he was there, when he made her body shake in pleasure. but almost three weeks later, Tamlin needed to leave the manor to deal with some threats at the western parts of the territory. Him leavening made the hole in her chest and body known again, making her flee the room and the house as best she could. Siting outside in the grass, hoping for the hole to close again.

Alis found her there later that night, placing a blanket over her shoulders.

"Don't you freze?" She asked.

"No..." I don't feal anything. Feyre turned to her. "It isn't so cold."

"If you say so." Alis sighed. "He is safe, you don't need to worry."

"I am not worried." Feyre said back. "I am just..." She started but stoped. It was to draining to explain it,

"What?"

"Nothing..." She never tried to explain what she was fealing again.

Autumn turned to winter, and as time moved on, Feyre started to stop caring for the bargain and when the Night Courts High Lord would come. It was hard enough with the Winter solstice, and the ceremony that came with it. She never told Tamlin it was her birthday, she didn't want to be forced to celebrate anything else. And, Tamlin never asked her when her birthday was. After the ceremony she excused herself and locked herself into the bathroom, throwing up. The stress of seeing others, of being looked at was to much. Tamlin knocked om her door after some time. Feyre wasn't sure how long she had been there.

"Yes..." Feyre said back,

"Are you alright?" He asked, her response was one on reflex, and not an honest answer.