Trust

Uncomfortable

San's humming the first movement of Beethoven's ninth symphony while he and Yeosang are walking over the park's lawn for their weekly swim in the lake. It's still morning, the grass is dewy and his feet are getting cold and wet in his flip-flops.

"What melody is that?", Yeosang interrupts the peaceful silence of singing birds and honking cars in the distance.

"Beethoven. Ninth symphony." San really likes the music. He's got the first movement stuck in his head since his Music History lecture, which was four days ago – but he doesn't mind. In fact, he's probably going to listen to the whole piece again once they get back to their flat.

"Ah. It sounds... nice."

San squirms at the awkwardness in Yeosang's voice.

It's been like this for a week now. San only started noticing that Yeosang was acting differently around him when he came back from visiting his family in Namhae last week on Sunday. Suddenly, Yeosang started being... awkward. More awkward than usual, at least. And over the week, San got a sinking feeling that it had something to do with him. Yeosang didn't behave weirdly around Hyejin or Wooyoung on Monday – only when San showed up.

To add on top of that, Yeosang has become awfully nice and interested in what San is doing. Sure, he also was before... but this now is a completely different level. And it feels very weird to San.

He doesn't like it. Everything was fine before; hell, they've lived together for a year already, but something seems to have changed within the short two weeks San spent in Namhae with his family.

San hasn't told anyone about his vague assumptions, not even Mingi, Yunho or Jongho. After all, there's still a high chance he might be wrong about all of this – and God, he really hopes that he is wrong.

San wants the old Yeosang back. The Yeosang who used to laugh and joke around with him; the Yeosang he could tease about being way too awkward when Hyejin, his crush half a year ago, was around; the Yeosang who could listen and be serious and comfort San in the middle of exam stress where everybody either breaks down or goes crazy. San misses his friend. The friend he had in Yeosang just three weeks ago.

Now, walking to the lake with Yeosang, San feels... tense. Something – whatever it is – is off, and the fact that Hyejin didn't tag along with them like usual definitely doesn't make it any better.

Yeosang's arm brushes against San's, and San tenses up. It could be just a coincidence, he tells himself. However, he is not sure if he should really believe that.

They're walking really close. Have they been walking this close before and San just didn't notice it? Or is it... new, like apparently everything about Yeosang's behavior?

San doesn't bother to spend any more time brooding over the topic – he takes off running. "First one in the water gets Pepero's from the loser!"

Hearing Yeosang first complaining, then running behind him, San speeds up. He almost slips on the grass as he yanks his t-shirt over his head. Leaving his flip-flops behind as well, he runs straight into the lake. "Fuck! It's cold!"

San shudders when he resurfaces. Everything is wet now, including his hair. He runs a hand through it before looking around for Yeosang.

Yeosang is standing on the lawn, still in swimming trunks and his shirt.

"Yah! Come in! Also, you owe me a box of Pepero's now!" San splashes a bit of water in his direction.

Shaking his head slowly, Yeosang unbuttons his shirt and makes a first few steps towards the water. San doesn't wait for him. "Come ooon!", he whines, then he turns around to make a few strokes towards the middle of the lake.

Yeosang takes a few minutes to get in the water. San doesn't care; he's floating on his back, and he'll only stop with that when his lips turn blue or he can't feel his fingers anymore. Finally, Yeosang reaches him. "You're insane", he states, making it sound like an insult. In this moment, San is almost sure that the old Yeosang is back.

He cracks a smile at his friend. "Guess I am. Only for free Pepero sticks though."

Yeosang laughs. "That's cheap."

"Was that an insult?" San tilts his head. Floating in the lake under the early morning sun is just perfect.

"Maybe", Yeosang teases back, then he takes a few swim strokes in the direction of the opposite bank and back. "Next time, I'll set the stakes. This race was unfair. And you've obviously been working out."

San gulps. Maybe old Yeosang isn't back after all – and suddenly, he feels very self-conscious of his body. "Yeah... the holidays were kind of boring from time to time... and you don't get abs from doing nothing, so..." He chuckles, but it feels unnatural and so awkward.

So Yeosang's been checking him out – no, not like that, Yeosang's just been looking at him. Normal. No big deal, right? No big deal, San repeats to himself, wishing he could somehow believe that.

"Is Hyejin coming next week again?", he changes the uncomfortable topic.

"I don't know." The smile disappears from Yeosang's face. "I need to talk to her about... some things."

"Oh. Okay?" That doesn't sound good.

"Yeah. She's coming over this evening." Yeosang doesn't elaborate. Instead, he sighs and stares up at the sky like San did before.

San's toes are getting numb from not moving in the cold water. "Okay. I hope you guys can solve whatever it is." He really hopes that. Not only for their sake, but also for his own.