Trust

94

A/N: Wow, it's Monday and I'd said that maybe I'd manage to update even earlier than usual >< I'm sorry! Christmas preparations and celebrations and family meetings took way, wayy longer than I expected. But here's the new chapter, finally!🥺

Also, just like San's hair colors are a wild mix of the different Ateez eras, so are the songs they are performing in here (well ok, the mix is not that wild, but still😅)

"We've got this", I blurt out, repeating San's words from just half a minute prior.

"We do", Jongho confirms.

"Let's head to stage", Seonghwa suggests.

After one last shared glance, we do.

The stage seems wider than usual when it's my turn to walk up – but it takes me the exact same amount of steps to reach the front as during rehearsals. We come to a halt just a few meters from the jury.

Hongjoong quietly counts to three before we bow, more or less in unison, and introduce ourselves as Ateez.

A few chuckles erupt among the audience, but most of them clap. It's the polite applause of people waiting to be impressed, although even our stone-faced jury joins them.

We've got this. I close my eyes for a second, willing any awkwardness that I may feel to fade away. The audience doesn't matter anyway. The jury doesn't matter. All that does matter are we, standing on this stage, our stage, and Hongjoong was right, our weekend rehearsals have been really good, good enough to build on that, to trust that we've somehow got what it takes.

I feel eerily calm when I take my position for Pirate King at the back on the left side. Either I'm gonna screw up in a second, or I've got this – I don't know anything anymore at this point.

There are a few agonizing seconds of silence when we've all gotten into position, waiting for our song to start. Hongjoong mumbles the countdown under his breath: "Three, two-"

"Fighting", San whispers.

Our first song starts. And I startle.

Luckily it's not me in the spotlight for now – first it's San and Jongho, then it's Yeosang; and they're all doing great, no hint of awkwardness, they're really feeling the drama and the waves, as does everyone else. But it's Yeosang's movements of freeing himself, somehow way more confident than at any practice ever before, that help me to finally get into the choreo as well – I'm there, I'm present, and finally not only the next three moves come to my mind but the whole fucking dance. I'm nervous for the refrain – nervous about the way I kind of but not really have to stumble past San to the front, winking at the audience – but when it's about to happen, I just pretend I can see San sitting somewhere there, even though I know perfectly well that he's pouring his heart into dance just a meter behind me to my left.