Motheaten Memories [Yandere Prince x Enemy Princess Reader]

18. For Kin and Country.

Y/N raced down the hall outside the ballroom, moving as fast as her legs would carry her, not caring for maintaining any level of elegance. She ran so fast that the halls passed by as little more than a honey-colored blur. She didn't look over her shoulder to see if the Crown Prince was persuing her, he was likely to be swept up in a wave of adoring nobles if he tried to reach the door, but Y/N didn't want to take any chances.

She continued to run, grateful that all her time chasing after the hyper Lady Cascia had greatly increased her stamina as well as her knowledge of the layout of at least the South Wing of the Palace, but she still managed to find herself atop a lonely battlement that she had never seen before. It was secluded and offered a view of the evening grounds as well of the sky that was just beginning to be dotted by thousands of glittering stars.

Now that Y/N was away she thought about how she had reacted to Crown Prince Abeloni's questioning and couldn't help but cringe. How could she just freeze up like that? It was the worst action she could have taken and yet she had still done it, she had thought that she was doing well before that as well.

Why did I run away like that?! Y/N thought, completely mortified as she leaned her back against the cold stone wall of the stairwell she had come up from and slid down until she was sitting on the ground. That just makes me look like I'm even more suspicious!

"I'm such an idiot!!!" Y/N growled, balling her hands up into tight fists as she stared at her lap that was blanketed by the voluminous crimson skirt. I was so caught up in not letting him trip me up that I nearly blew my cover!

She was so ashamed of how she had just fled from him instead of sticking it out and trying to recover from her blunder. He's bound to hound me even worse than he was before, and there's nothing I can do about it! She couldn't fight against the angry and despairing tears that were forming in the corners of her E/C eyes.  I'll be lucky if he hasn't figured out who I am yet! Tears blurred her vision as she stared around herself, the palace's turrets and grounds and the sky above her all appearing wrong and warped, just like how she felt on the inside.

"Why... Why?" She said in a quavering voice as she began to cry, only adding to the disgust that she felt for herself and her actions. "Why am I such a failure? It's my job to avenge my family and my nation, but I'm nothing but a blundering fool!!!" The tears of rage and loathing for her personal inadequacy consumed her as her body shook with emotion and from the cold on the stones, she rested on.

"Why did it have to be me?!" Y/N asked, her voice a little more than a whisper as she looked at the ebony heavens filling with countless stars. "Why did I live?! Why couldn't someone else have survived, someone who would be much better at vengeance than me?!" She cried, thinking of all the much more valuable lives that had been lost. Why was she spared?

"F-Father... Mother," Y/N lost herself in the warm memory of the tender embrace of her parents who had loved her so much and done everything they could for her. "I-I just want you to rest in peace knowing that I didn't let those who took everything from us get away... I just want to make you proud..."

Y/N had never wanted to give up more than she did at that moment. She thought that after all the toils she had suffered through since the night that her country fell she would be more capable. She thought that it had made her stronger, that all of her sufferings had prepared her for the ultimate task of vengeance, but she was wrong. It may have made her stronger, but not strong enough. She had still crumbled to pieces from the stress of interacting with the Crown Prince. How was she ever going to kill him and his family?

Her whole body trembled as she curled into a little ball, not worrying about preserving her borrowed dress the way she normally would have. She felt weak and helpless, and alone. Her throat burned from the sobs that she was struggling to repress. She missed her family, she missed her home, she missed the feeling of love she had in those days. The feeling that she didn't have to challenge the world alone.

She gritted her teeth as she suddenly realized that running off and crying alone wouldn't help her to avenge the countless lives that had been lost. "And-And I'll do it! I'm the one who did live, so it is my responsibility to see you avenged!" No matter how impossible it seemed, she had survived for a reason, she was one of the only people who had seen the true suffering of her people and lived to remember it. "And until then, I won't cry like a baby. I will avenge you! Even if they already know who I am I won't lose heart!"

It didn't matter if the Crown Prince had realized who she was and mobilized soldiers to seize her at that very moment, she had a sacred obligation to her people. "The Royal blood of Vascini runs through my veins!" Y/N declared in a voice barely above a whisper as she pushed herself upright and stood, wiping away her tears. "My kingdom was razed and my family was slain, but no matter what is done to me I will ALWAYS be Princess Y/N."

A/N

Ugh, this chapter was murder to write! But I did it! It's done! Everything! Is! Fine!

Until next time I'll see you on the other side

~J. C. Coltt.~