captive | d.m.

chapter 7

-Terra-

"I can't do it. I can't do it!" I buried my face in my arms and slumped against the table. "How the hell am I supposed to conjure a Patronus without my wand when I can barely scramble to find a memory that brings me joy? I can barely focus on levitating a simple bowl with my mind."

"You just started!" Mercutio replied. "I'm honestly quite proud of you for even levitating those objects for your age, Miss Zatara. But with your brain—"

"My brain is damaged," I snapped. I pulled my head up to glance at Mercutio again. "I still have retrograde amnesia. Sometimes, I'll wake up and remember the time I fell off my bike when I was 6. Sometimes...I'll remember the first time I failed an exam at Hogwarts or when I made friends with one of the portraits in Third year. I'm far from being one of the brightest witches of my age. You're looking for Hermione Granger." I slumped down again and placed a protective hand over my belly.

"As we grow older, our memory weakens. What matters most is you remembering how much love and joy you received from your loved ones. You still remember your mother and Mr. Malfoy because you loved them. Memory is precious, yes, but your condition should not discourage you, Miss Zatara. You are still one of the strongest witches I know...aside from my deceased wife."

I watched his mouth twitch after mentioning his wife. I shook my head. I felt far from strong. Everyday I was afraid I couldn't save my baby...just because of how weak I am.

"I wish I could wake up one day and forget them all. Perhaps then I'll be okay again." I whispered. Mercutio was silent. He planted himself next to me at the table. "I always wonder how different my life would have been, had my twin brother not died after being born. At least I wouldn't have had to go through this alone...unless I lost him too. I wish it could have been me that died that day. Maybe my twin brother would have been stronger...and possibly even defeated Voldemort."

"Miss Zatara," Mercutio sighed.

"I think I'm done for today, Mercutio." I forced an apologetic smile to my lips while glancing up at the ghost. He appeared defeated...sad almost. But he didn't disappear like he always did.

"Let's make a list of all the things that make you happy. Do me a favor, conjure some parchment and a quill from the storage cabinet."

I did as told. Focused my mind and for some odd reason, it worked. A piece of parchment and a quill lay in front of me, waiting to be used. My eyes widened with surprise and Mercutio was grinning at me from ear to ear. I picked up the quill and dipped it in the ink, focusing my thoughts on things that made me feel utterly happy.

Draco. Draco's warmth.

The sunrise at Hogwarts.

The Quidditch Pitch.

The Wooden Bridge.

The green fire of the Slytherin Common room.

My mother's voice.

"Think of a specific memory in particular," Mercutio whispered. His voice seemed distant when I closed my eyes, thinking back to the night of my birthday before Draco and I had left Hogwarts. Dancing with him, making love.

"There was no Welcome Home Ball this year, so I decided to create our own little Ball in your dorm." Draco chuckled sheepishly. He begged me to go change in my bedroom and not come out until he said I could. I spent a great amount of my time placing beauty charms and admiring the dress that glittered under the lights. I decided to pair it with silver heels, casting a charm that made them glitter just as much as the dress. Then I added my finishing touch, my signature serpent necklace.