Life is a school.

Bitter like Ivory

Lilith's POV
After my daydream, I slowly got up, I was laying in the back of our van. We bought the mattress from Eric friends. I already forgot their names. Eric is in the town, meeting some people for the equipment.
I swallow, my throat is very dry and I feel dehydrated to the bone. We are parked in front of Walmart. I think about the day, what I should do, because I have nothing to do.
I felt very lonely so I wanted to be around someone. But I knew no one in this town. I checked if we had some waterbottles but they were all empty.
Very quickly I decided it was a good idea to park on a Walmart parking lot and threw on some clothes. Because I had no water I skipped brushing my teeth and went for a mint drop. I jumped out of the car and went into the store. It was one of these giant Walmart's where you have to walk a mile if you forget something.
I directly head straight to the isle for some fresh water and picked up something for breakfast. Trying to keep it low budget, because the money is getting pretty small. We have only 38$ for the end of the month and it is only the 18th.
At the check out I get greeted with a staring, at least it gave me the feeling. I was anxious and didn't want to talk much because I hadn't brushed my teeth really.
My thoughts suddenly got interrupted when the cashier said: "Hey V, you remember me? Your boyfriend took you to our crib when we were recording." I didn't look up really and stumbled over the mess of words in my head, the aura was making me nervous and I was very close to a panic attack. "Uhm... uh sorry my name's not V. You must have swapped me with someone." My look went up for a second and wanted to go down again but they got stuck in the bluish eyes of a heavily tattooed man with dreadlocks and the reflection of my dumb stare in his glasses. "Oh Right... I remember you are Scum? Right?" I nervously scratch the back of my head and let out a even more panicy laughter.
He giggled for a second while scanning my items: "we both don't seem to have a clue of each other's name. Scrim it is. And let me guess again, Erica?". I almost screamed out of laughter: "no Eric is my boyfriend, but you call him Ghosty or Ghoste whatever you prefer. I am Lilith short Lil. I am horrible with names, but apparently you are too." He shook his head: "how could I have forgotten, Lilith. You need a bag for those?" I look at him in confusion, no idea of what he is talking about. "So? Do you need a bag for your items? Those tiny hands don't seem like they can hold much." He interrupts my thought with a greedy smile. I just shake my head. "Alright you decide, I actually knock off work after this line is done. If you want we can go to my place? Hang out a bit." he says this while cashing me out and I grab my stuff. "Yeah that sounds good. We are right in front of the building." I say while balancing the groceries in my arms. "We? You mean you and ghoste?" He replies with a short interruption before he named him. I shake my head: "no ghoste is in the town, getting some gear and shit. I mean our van, we crashed on the parking lot." We decided to meet outside when he is done. During that time I make myself a small breakfast and drink a bottle of water.
While looking at my phone I recognize that it is almost empty. So I unplug Ghoste's phone and the bright screen shows a weird message from a girl called Ivory:

Ivory🪐: hey Eric, how is it going?
I heard you don't teach anymore? What a shame, I loved your lessons. Especially our privat ones🖤❤️

I couldn't believe what I just read so I went on the chat and saw their other messages, they were old but not that old, some months ago they texted for the last time:

Eric🦷: hey Ivory, meet me in the chemistry lab. I have two hours for you. And don't forget to bring condoms.

Ivory🪐: I would love to, but I can't I got kicked out of school... Meet me at my parents.

Eric🦷: nah. This was just a hook up thing, you're fucking sexy and damn you can fuck like a slut.  But to be honest I'mma get a new girl to fuck.

Immediately tears fell down my cheeks, am I just a new girl to fuck? Is Eric really like this? I can't believe that he would say something like that...
I closed his messenger and sat down on the mattress. My mind was racing, it was competing with my heart. The walls of the van fell apart and my world was slowly turning. Everything was in a time laps but very unreal. Suddenly everything lost it's meaning and nothing was relevant anymore. I laid down and felt this daydream again.
I close my eyes, in my head I take a look at the old dirty mirror in the tiny bedroom I have. My hair looks dead, it is plain and just falls down. My eyes are also lifeless, they are dark and have no spark in them. Under my eyes are big eye bags that make me look like I hadn't slept in years. My hands are bony and my body is very tiny. I go out of my room and see this child, well she is already a teen. For some reasons I know that she is my daughter. She looks just like me when I was thirteen. "Hello Mother." Her voice sounds annoyed but also kind of dreamy. I feel a weird energy a mean one. Like hate went to my entire body when she looked at me.
Suddenly I hear a knock at the door. Wondering who it is, while I open the door there is no one. Actually there is nothing. Just a black hole. "Lilith? Lilith you awake?" The voice is harsh and the knocking gets louder and louder.
My upper body jumped up and I banged my head at the roof of the van. "Ouch" I say while rubbing the sensitive part of my head.
It was Scrim who had been knocking against the back window of the van. I opened the backdoor and he sat down on the edge of the Trunk. He looked with a concerned facial expression at me: „I don't wanna be mean but you look like shit. Like straight up shit, shit shit. Everything okay with ya?" thanks, that's what you want to hear in a moment like that... Even though I was annoyed by the sentence he just dropped, I was hardly trying not to break out in tears: „just... a... I don't know how to explain. I had a weird dream and everything I guess. Just... it's a lot."
I couldn't believe how much I stumbled over my own words and reached for another bottle of water. „You look like you need either a shoulder to cry on or a heavy amount of drugs. Can I smoke in hear?" he asks me while pulling a box of cigarettes out of his pocket. I just nod and allow myself to steal one from him.
I lit the cig and inhale the smoke into my lung.
„I don't wanna talk about it right now..." it just flooded out of my mouth like I had no other option to answer. Scrim rubbed my back and looked at me while my facial expression slowly was relaxing again.
„Do you want me to go or shall I call Eric, so he can calm"- he says and the anger came when I heard his name, I interrupted him: „no, don't call Eric. Just drop the fucking topic" My voice sounded rough, full of anger and even a bit desperate. I got out of the trunk and stretched for a second while taking a hit from the cig. „Let's go somewhere I don't wanna be here right now." I quickly change the topic and grab my phone.
One message from a random number:

Anonymous: hey lil it's Ghoste, I'll be back home late today. I am going out with some friends I found.

I don't reply, I just turn off my phone and put it in my pocket. What a fucking idiot.