Life is a school.

Conversations

Lilith's POV:
I take another drag from the cigarette and finally squeeze the last bit of blaze out onto the steel construction. I take another deep breath before I think about going back to my locker.
Until a soft voice destroys my plans: "hey." The voice is behind me and it seems familiar again. Like I arrived at home. I turned around to see... her.
Violin, my face dropped and my eyes rolled. I don't know what's about her but I swear to god she has been following me. Can't I even enjoy a cigarette on my own? I don't know if she thinks I wouldn't notice but I did. And it has reached a point where I really have no clue what the hell she wants!
"Hey" I reply with a monotone voice and my hands pulling the annoyance in the background.
"Am I disturbing you? If yes, I can totally go. No problem! I just thought you would might greet some company." She smiles and hops onto the construction right in front of me.
Actually yes, I wanted to be alone, but I didn't wanted to seem alone so I just shook my head: "Nah it's alright... it's just... I'm new here and haven't met anyone really yet."
Not sure if it was my attention or it just happened to be like that. But I feel like in a school with 99% colored people just being white is making you kind of an outsider. She looked down to her black shoes that were quite elegant but still casual and fitting her style: "Me too! I just arrived here and... I know no one in this school or town And I've been feeling kind of lonely..."
I just nod another time, I didn't wanna talk about feelings and all that shit right now. So this conversation was over for me but of course she continued: "By the way sorry I got so angry at you when you called me a wrong name. I didn't want to it was just... I was on my period you know?" She blushes, it seems like all those words were not hers. Like someone took the things she would've said and gave her new ones. I mean I don't know her but at least from my first acknowledgment of her, she doesn't seem so sweet and nice and all this fake role she is presenting to me on a silver plate. In response to her excuse I put on a cringe fake smirk and nod to show her I heard what she just said. Her facial expression changed from this beautiful angel to her constantly thinking about how to keep the conversation going.
"That name... if I may ask. Why is the word V... sorry. Um... why is it such a big problem for you?" I question her mainly to break the awkward silence. It was like one of those dates, where it was fun till a certain point where it got awkward and both parties knew that they're both just wasting their time and that you won't ever text with this person ever again. But at least you had great conversations on the internet.
That's the absolute vibe I'm getting from this situation.
Violin scratches the back of her head and starts: "well... I can't tell you... but... the name was given to me and the person who gave it to me has 100% control over my life. At least this time I wanna be in control of something."
That's weird but still so relatable...
She clears her throat and puts on this fake happy voice: "what about you. Tell me something about yourself!" About me... hm... there's not much about me: "well... you know I'm Lilith and I'm 17 years old. Today is actually my birthday!"
She squeaks up: "oh my god really? Happy birthday my sister!"
I just awkwardly nod in appreciation: "thanks... um... yeah I moved here with my boy... well ex boyfriend. And I lived in Florida and Montana but that's pretty irrelevant. So yeah nothing special about me. Oh... um... I'm having a birthday party at the skatepark on Friday. I don't know if you wanna join? It's nothing big and everyone brings their own stuff. More... more like a meet out with some people... I don't... I don't even know most of them. My friends or yeah kind of brothers organized it for me, with their friends. So you would be the third person I'd know." i felt so uncomfortable but I really didn't wanna be there just alone. Like after some time ruby and scrim will leave me to talk to friends and I would just be standing there alone.
Violin smirks for a millisecond and nods: "yeah... thank's I'm not a party girl but I'll might jump by. You're from the seventh ward?"
Am I? I am currently staying there but, in the end I'm not from there. I've never known what it's actually like being poor or well needing to live in the near of public housing or the projects... so no I'm not a seventh ward baby.