Life is a school.

End of Vanlife

Lilith's POV
„I have enough of this. I am not going back in that trunk! You have been acting out like a little bitch. Something is wrong and the whole time you're not here, I think it's because of me but I feel like I was wrong." I shout through the hospital room on the end of my bed is Eric. I woke up with the worst mood because I was told that we need to leave the hospital because we couldn't afford another day and it's been only two days. Everything hurts because I still got no medication. Because of my behavior last night the doctors gave me a smaller dose in case I would become an addict after the release. To this minute my head is pounding out of madness and the poor soul is the one who I am letting it out on: „I have a broken body, you can't force me to fucking live in the back of that truck. I would need intensive care right now, rest and shit. Not a small mattress on the floor of a 12 year old van." As I continue my rage I get interrupted by my love: "what is your fucking problem?! I feel like you're doing everything to get to your true love scrimy scrim and that I am just your cute little playtoy. What the fuck is wrong with you? I did nothing to you!" Eric throws a tantrum and kicks the sidetable where my breakfast is still resting because I wasn't hungry yet. The food is scattered around the room. His words hurt, it was like a sting in my body, was I really wrong? Am I the one who's bringing all the trouble? Is he innocent and I am the bad person in this relationship? "Oh my small Lil is thinking about her love life again? Tell me did you hook up with him?" His head is red of anger and his pupils are huge and not really like normally... But of what is he accusing me right now?! Fucking scrim? Why? I mean yes he is nice but I would never hook up with him while I was in a relationship: "No I did not. And no I was think if I was the toxic person in this room but it seems like I'm not. By the way did you steal my medication last night?" I look deeply in his tired but still so awake and angry eyes. He is reacting strange to the question and just gives me a slap in the face: "how do you dare to accuse me of that bullshit, you must have been hallucinating. I saw you take them. And me toxic? Nah look in your fucking face first before saying stuff like that. Imma go, I'm not taking this shit! Fuck you, fuck scrim and all this hell of a city. Get yourself a fucking job to pay for the hospital bill, bitch. And don't even try to call me. I'm done, I'm fucking done with this shit. If you don't get in the van now I'm gone." his words sound so strange in my head like nothing of that was true, he didn't wanna leave but someone told him to. Instantly I feel tears rolling down my cheeks, I cry like a river. "Fucking Pussy, get your goddamn life together you useless dumb bitch. By the way, Ivory was the better fuck." With these words he left me alone in the bright room. The door slams and I feel the impact of the power that was used to close it. It swings through the whole room like a final goodbye. Everything that has been said is running through my head like an endless train of pain. The walls turn black and I'm purely alone, alone with the pain of the other night I'm still trying to forget. He took up the phone when I called him but he sounded so wasted that I instantly hung up and called scrim. He wasn't sober, but sober enough to drive me to the hospital. I need to leave now. Somehow I'm taking the small bag on my back that Eric brought me with some of my clothes. And in the only free hand I have one crotch. I try to come as far as possible but I stumble over the floor like a heroin addict to his final shot. At the reception they refuse to let me call scrim for free so I put it on the already too long bill I won't ever be able to pay myself...
My thoughts still not building a straight line just hope that he will pick up the phone...
"Yeah, who dis'?" A soft voice answered the phone, but it was not Scrim it was a female voice.
"Uh... oh I'm Lilith can I talk to Scrim please?" I answer nervously.
"He doesn't talk with fans on the phone, where did you get his number from?" She sked me in a rude voice.
"I'm not a fan, I'm a friend of him. He took me to the hospital two days ago and I wanted to ask if he could pick me up. It's a really bad moment you catched me." Still very nervous.
"Hm... you too. I was about to fuck his brain out, bitch." She almost hung up but I heard something in the background. Even though I had no feelings for Scrim the knowledge that he has some girl over is making me even sadder.
"Yo get away from ma fucking phone bitch, who are you?... Yeah Scrim here?"
My heart drops: "thanks god Scrim. I gotta leave the hospital. Can you come pick me up please?" I nervously watch to the lady at the counter wanting her phone back.
"What about your personal idiot?" He asked in a monotone and quite annoyed voice. All of the sudden guilt fills every bit of my soul. I didn't want to tell him via phone what happened so I held it quick: "Well I'mma tell ya later but please do me the favor!" You could hear my voice crack as I was still crying a bit and one could feel how Scrim felt my pain through the phone.
"I'll be there in some minutes." He said and you could only hear a rude voice in the background telling that girl to leave the fucking house.
After about 30 minutes the slick man with the dreadlocks hanging into his face and the face tattoos that people were afraid of stepped into the waiting hall that I've been sitting in.
"Hey Lil... good to see you. Damn you look terrible!" He takes my backpack and helps me get up. I giggle in my actual really depressed mood: "Thanks Scrim, that's what a woman wants to hear. But I'm glad you're here!" My soft voice is almost silent and very quite today not like usually. He hugged me and the warmth of his body brought so many memories that made me cry out and crash into his arm. He slowly pats my back and helps me to leave the hospital. Everyone waiting is staring at me like I'm the new attraction they rented to entertain the sick ones. I hated that.