Life is a school.

Tipsy

E R I C S P O V
My head is higher up the sky since a long time. I feel like I'm flying over this planet. I feel the wind in every part of my body, rushing through my organs and going through my hair. So free and loose. And then there is Lilith, my student, my friend, my roommate for tonight.
Her grey hair fits really nice with her pale skin and those pinkish lips. Her eyes sparkle green and her nails are painted black. She already has tattoos, she looks much older than 18, but at the same time her face looks so tiny and kind of childish. Her face is most of the time straight, it looks very serious. Kind of lived through. I like that.
We get to my car, it's still shining kind of mat black in the sun and the old parts of my car are already a bit rusty. But to be honest, that's okay. A car is a functional object and it's not supposed to be like perfect. That's something rich people can think of. I'm not rich, I'm a Highschool teacher, not a millionaire and I'll never be one. I get into my car and try to focus. I shouldn't be driving right now. But I start the car and start driving to my home. I bought a small house last year to settle down. For a long time I lived with my grandma, but she kept complaining of me getting her kitchen floor dirty. So I moved out. And there we have arrived. I park in front of my garage which I'm currently using to make music in and get out of my car. Lilith follows me and I pull the keys outside the back-pockets of my skinny jeans. "You own a house?" Lilith asks me, while being a bit shocked. It's not a house, it's more like a Loft that happened to be on the ground and not in an apartment building kind of. It's also not big. There are like more or less three rooms in this house. We come into the living room. I combined old and new furniture, almost right behind the entrance are the open stairs up to my Bed and my bath. On the other side of the stairs is my kitchen. I keep everything quite clean. But I have a lot of weird deco which makes it not as clean. "This is amazing!" Lilith says and her eyes are filled with great fullness. The back of my house is fully made of glas and shows the backyard, where a waterfloaty is my pool. I put my car keys on the side board and close the door. I take a seat on my very comfortable leather couch and get my small box where I keep my drugs. „Take a seat my dear. Do you want a bowl?" I ask her. I mostly smoke joints but sometimes a good old bong hit is just as good. I have a beautiful Bong, it's made of an dark grey crystal. In my small wooden box are about 3,5 grams of weed and 3 tabs of acid and some shrooms. I'm not a big fan of pills so I'm more for psychedelics. "Do you take other drugs than Weed?" she asks me in her beautiful and quite voice. I nod: "ya... I like to do psychedelics while going for a hike. I like to connect to the nature. I rarely take cocain, but I do it like once a year. What about you?" She takes a second to answer: "I consume weed like 5 times a week, I took LSD once, I take Ecstasy once in a while and I have to admit that I used Ritalin for my preparation of my last class test. But I would like to try mushrooms." I like her answer, it's not perfect. But to be honest who in this world is even perfect? And what would be the perfect question? It's already getting late and I'm afraid to be hungover tomorrow. A wave of concerns hit me and a deep depressed feeling comes all the sudden out of my chest. My mouth suddenly makes this downward expression and my whole body kind of bends downwards. This is so typical, I'm trying to have a good time and every time it gets ruin by myself. I hate myself.
I'm the worst form of a human being, I'm always sad, there's not a day where I'm not thinking about ending it all and the worst thing is I'm absolutely ungrateful for what I've got! I don't deserve this life. I should rather be born in a third world country, there I'd have a reason to be ungrateful.
"Hey is everything okay? You look kind if sad..." Lilith concern get me out of my thoughts and I try to fake a smile. She doesn't deserve my depressed self. "Yeah... I was just in thoughts..." I look down to the ground. Lilith laughs: "you looked more like you're being tortured!" I have to admit this is my normal facial expression: "I know, that's most of the time my facial reaction..."

We went to the grocery store and when we past the mile with the condoms I got kind of turned on by the thought of having Lilith under my naked body and seeing her smile like that. But these thought should vanish fast, she is my student. And this connection I'm feeling towards her are probably the drugs. We had another beer on our way and I do feel the alcohol in my blood and I'm still feeling the joint from this evening. I was definitely having a good time! At the liquor section she suddenly holds. "Let's get something to drink, I really wanna get fucked up today. I'm in the mood for it!" Lilith says with a very confident voice and you get the feeling you cannot reject her. I nod and go through the mile: "what do you prefer?" I ask her. She takes a look around: "a german Herb liquor. This one." She points at a bottle with 'Jägermeister' on it. I put it into our shopping cart and add a couple of beers. I tried this drink before, a good friend of mine prefers it as well. Gus really loves his german Herb Schnaps. I turn around and of all sudden two of my students stand right behind me. "Hello Mister Whitney! What are you doing so late at the grocery store?" They ask me. They are Rowan and Sabrina, two of my best students in my philosophy class. "Looks like you got a ton of exams to correct." They point at my shopping cart filled with alcohol, snacks and a couple of "normal" groceries. I laugh and try to ignore the fact that after this Lilith and I will be fucked up tonight and probably will get pretty wasted. "No... I'm preparing for my birthday this Friday! I shouldn't drink while working." Even though it was not a full lie my Birthday is actually on Friday. „I don't want to mess up your test!" I sounded kind of nervous, my voice was almost breaking. They laugh and go mind their own business. While I was talking to my students Lilith hided in another mile. This was a good idea, they shouldn't see me with another student.

~Thanks for reading. Sorry if there are some grammar mistakes in it. But I'm from Germany~