Life is a school.

Realization

Lilith's POV:
A few days have passed and my wounds slowly healed. At least the ones on the outside. I missed Eric so terribly bad. He was always on my mind. I listened to his songs to hear his voice, feel his emotions and just be somewhat near to him. His last words destroyed every little bit in me, I have nothing anymore that reminds me of him. All lost. All gone. Nothing is bringing him back. I cry myself to sleep every night and every morning because I don't want to get up anymore. All I do every day is stay in bed listen to the five songs he has released and cry. Today he released a new track, it was called ‚Hades'. The lyrics crawl into my skin and eat me alive, especially the beginning where he sang: „Love is a plaque but I'm dying and taking you with me to the unknown". I felt it. Was I just like a disease? He was singing about me and no one could convince me about something different. Also the lines about eating chick's out and the outro made me suspicious! Was he already fucking with new people? I thought he must be rock bottom. Hearing his new stuff made me sad. I bury my head in the big pillow and scream in silence. It's like when you cry so hard that you want to shout at yourself because you're so miserable but nothing would leave your mouth. This went on for a half of an eternity until someone knocked on the door. I didn't want to talk to people right now. I must look miserable. All I did in the last few days was use the bathroom and sip some water from the sink. My hair is probably a mess and my body must smell like a dead body. I don't have high standards when I'm depressed. Two knocks again: "it's Ruby, can I come in?" Ruby will understand he is one big heart, he fills this house with more soul and love like no one else could. I allowed him to step in and he sits at the end of the bed: "I heard you crying and wanted to ask if you needed someone to listen." He looked at me with this adorable smile and gave me a glass of water. I poured it down like I hadn't had some in weeks. It cleared my throat and I could feel the water build up in my stomach.
I nod and sit up: "sorry if I look like a total mess to you. The... everything hit me really hard. I just can't find my light anymore." I broke down in tears and he hugged me. While rubbing my back I crawled my nails into his back and let everything out. "Oh you're such a good girl, he never deserved you. Look at you, you are by far the cutest little lady in whole 7th ward! When you smile it's like sun's rising and your cries these days were so miserable filled with all this bad energy. If he can't treat you like your worth it, then it's his fault. Just sayin'." He handed me a cigarette and I take it into my mouth. "Thanks Ruby, I really appreciate it. But... something's wrong. Why is he like this? Why does he all those things? Why is he saying all those things? Being aggressive to the core..." it all made no sense to me, I take some drags and enjoy the smoke in my lungs I don't even want to let it out. Ruby shakes his head: "because he is an addict. He is addicted to alcohol. The fame overtook him. Well he isn't even famous but for him this sudden climb was so overwhelming and he needed a way to limit his emotions. And then alcohol quickly becomes your best friend." My little cherry spoke out what I had feared all days, Eric being an addict. "You really think so? But... but Scrim is also an addict to some drugs and he... he is different!" I look into his dreamy goldish brown eyes that shimmer in the sun. "We both are, Scrim far worse than I am but we have been this way since so many years. I started abusing all kinds of drugs when I was thirteen years old. Everything that came into my hand was worth trying. I've smoked crack, took pills that were just given to me and I didn't even know what they were. I didn't care because I had nothing to loose. I was addicted to heroin but thanks god I kind of got the curve to a more healthy relationship with drugs. Yeah I still swallow pills like vitamins and yes Scrim also shoots H daily. But we know how to treat humans. We learned it the hard way but still we somehow did." Ruby was true, he and Scrim had problems but at least they knew it...

??'s POV:
"Getting consequences for your actions." This sentence hollowed through my ears. It's the philosophy of our Boss, also called Sir. I don't know his name. We don't need to know it, he always says. It is irrelevant to our job. I have been working for him for a long time. One of his best men he always says. But with all the glory comes his warning. He looks straight into my eyes, to see how he can squeeze every bit of detail and all the things that went wrong out of my mouth. He can suck my words in his mind just without talking to me: "Sergey, you know you are one of my best men. You know that! I always tell you. And with great glory comes big responsibilities. And you never let me down. Never. Till this one day. Where you had one easy job. It was almost bulletproof, no it was bulletproof! You fucked up, you stupid dibshit!" His words confused me, first of all my English was not that good so I didn't get everything and second of all we still have a chance: "I doun't understaind buoss. We cain still get dat gurl you asked us fowr!" The Boss is in front of me in his office. The big windows of the building are covered with floor length curtains. He slowly walks over to them and closes them. This is not good. Anything that happens in this building stays in here and when he closes the only sight to the outside world. It has nothing good to say. I've been here hundreds of time to this walk of fame. Him closing the curtains and letting his torturous phantasies begin. "Sergey my dearest worker. I've known you for now how long? 7 years? I think so. Pssss don't reply. Just listen my old friend. Can you see that spear right above your head? Yes? Great! If I can smell any type of lie, falls this thing right through your skull! And don't try to escape. Just don't. I chose this way to go to make it as painless as possible. Now Sergey it is your time to tell me everything you know. The show is yours." He let out a laughter and sat down in his big chair. I clear my throat, the spear above me is making me slightly nervous but I just have to tell the truth: "So it started wit Pavel, he wuos just friandly wuelcoming her in to da buas. He started to drag her and raight whuen he called ma naime to hielp him. Tree shots came fruam above. Two hit our little friand and one Pavel. He died сейчас um... I duon't know how to saey that... Anyweys he stumbled back into da rivier and she fiell to da ground. Another bullet hit the roof of the van. Then Dima stuarted to draiv." The boss applauses: „Nice story telling Sergey. Really great job! Have you thought about becoming an author, you little son of a bitch?" I nod in happiness: „Yeah I wrote a chialdrens book four ma dautshier." I really appreciated how much he loves my passion for children Stories. But he just facepalmed as his reaction: „Sergey that was sarcasm. You have a daughter?" I nod, I was slightly scared of his change in tone it wasn't so cheerful anymore almost annoyed. „How sad, she will miss you so bad!"
The Boss pushed the red button on his table, I looked to the ceiling and...

*Hope you liked this chapter! I don't know how much I'll come to writing the next two weeks. Bc I'm currently moving and fell in love with my art project.

Plus I got my hands tatted today, check this out: