Life is a school.

Old stuff

Lilith's POV
We were driving down the streets of New Orleans were I told Scrim what happened, he was out of his mind. He was a raging force that I was afraid to trigger. In his eyes were these demons dancing in the light of the sun.
"Scrim? Can I ask you something?" He just simply nod. I looked at him, his stare was fixed on the street and he was driving too fast but very controlled. "Can you make a living with your music?" I ask him. He takes a second to think about it.
„Well right now... not really. I mean we are not bound to any label like Eric. We could get more money if we wanted but I don't wanna be eaten by the industry. You know what I'm sayin'?
And we're still at the beginning of our career, soon we'll release our first album. That's going to be real nice. And hopefully bring us some money in. You know I work at Walmart and Ruby is still working at his dad's pizzaplace. We didn't get out of the hood. Still living in 7th ward. It ain't heaven living here. Lilith? Can I ask you something?" The small monologue Scrim held was interesting, Eric acted like he had all the cash now and is fame, going to be rich but after all not even the boys make a living. It seems like he lives in this twisted reality. „Yeah sure, what'chu wanna know?" he smirks: „You be gettin' the accent gurl! Where will you stay for the next days, weeks whatever?" My throat is all dry after that question and I feel another tear rolling down my face: „I dunno. I really don't. I don't wanna sound like a lil bitch or anything but... I don't wanna sleep under a bridge! Especially not the one in 7th ward. If you drop me off at a bridge somewhere else, I dunno Holy cross I'll be glad!" Scrim laughed with his whole body: „damn girl you got some high standards! Holy Cross is fine living, their bridges take only the best of the homeless people!" I gave him a little punch to the shoulder: „don't I look like a top tier homeless person to you?" Scrim shakes his head: „nah, yeah you look amazin'!" What did he just say? Did... was that a compliment? „Um... sorry what?" I asked nervously because I thought I heard wrong. He nervously laughed and nod: „Yeah I mean for a homeless person..." We are almost at their house and I saw the van still parking infront of the house. The doors of the van are swung open. „What is this motherfucker doin' there?" Scrim asked, his eyes narrowed and he watched critically how it seems like Eric throwing my stuff out of the way into their frontyard. He slams the door of his truck and looks at us with eyes full of hate and the smell of him filled the air. He smelled like a bar at 10am ready to be cleaned: „just bwoaght you your stuff bitch. O'cours you called yo lover to pick you up. I hate you, I hate all of this! Why did you do it all to me? Why me?" he screams at us, still sitting in the car. „I did nothing, you just freak out for literally no reason! I love you Eric! I've never loved another man! We can start over! I'll do anything, we can make it perfect again! Just fuck the fame and we'll go back to Palm Beach! But please let me show you how true I am. Don't leave me." I cried during the answer and my voice cracked with every little stumble. In exchange he just shakes his head. „No, that's not possible. Because what you're saying is wrong. You try to seduce me and take me in your bond! You're wronger than a snake. You say this while sitting in your lovers car. I can't believe how blinding you are..." he got into the van but Scrim just jumped into him and taking him between his hand: „what were you sayin' about her? She be the nicest and most caring girl in this hood and you motherfucker call her a bitch? She did not hook up with me. She is suffering under you bein' a big fat asshole. And ya I know I got problems, I know the drugs I take are bad and that I take too many. I'm addicted to oxycodone, roxy, molly, addreall, heroin, marijuana and all that shit but at least I'm not bein' the biggest asshole this planet has ever seen. Yeah I got some problems and I do need help but at least I see who's fault it is. And it's my own. And Lilith is not the fault for your problems. So you better leave this hood right now or I'm getting your ass wiped, pussy." without saying another word Scrims leaves him and parks the car. Instantly he walks around the car and helps me out: „thank you, that was really impressive." i smirk and take his hand to crawl out of the car. It was hard, the pain was huge and I felt every little bone, every muscle and the worst part was my heart, scattered in my chest like broken into million pieces. The home was empty, Ruby was at work and it was quite messy I sat down on the couch and looked at the ceiling. I had no where to go, the boys won't let me stay here forever and I got no job, no education and I could barely walk right now. Before I could continue school my arm or leg, one of them has to be healed. Otherwise it won't make sense. I know nobody in this city except Ruby and Scrim, even though I am not even sure if I actually know them. Eric left, he is gone. His last goodbye was drowned in a bottle of liquor and I'm not sure if he would ever take me back. But I can't help him, he won't realize that he has a problem...
Scrim comes in with my stuff under his arm, he laid it onto the chair. "You can crash here if you want, that's why I was originally asking. You can have my bed, I can take the couch." I shake my head: "no I can't do that. You saved my life, picked me up and now you even give me your bed? I should take the couch." He laughs: "you decide what ever you want! I would take you skatin' but... we got a little problem there." Skating my first love, I remember Robin, he was my best friend in elementary school. We hung out everyday and he taught me skatin'. The feeling, the adrenaline rush, everything about it makes me wanna dream. Robin was always the cool kid, I had no clue why he picked me as his best friend. He could have chosen them all. Everybody loved Robin. We were close till 15, then he died in a tragic car crash. He was the only one who believed in me. He was this one person on earth that I always trusted. I know I had Jane as well but, she was a snake. Also Robin's girlfriend. I always felt like the third wheel when Jane joined us. But alone with Robin, it was amazing. I have never ever again met a human that somehow taught me to live like he did. It was everything, he was everything... But I can't bring him back. When I go skatin' I think of him. I see him, hear him laugh and fall. Damned he fell a lot! That dude had every bone cracked.
I wonder what he'd be today, if the car...
He would've been so popular in high school. Prom King, boyfriend of the prom queen and still skatin'. Prolly aspiring to become a stuntman or some bullshit. Maybe a comedian. But Robin was not normal, he was ordinary, lovely, funny and sometimes when I think of him I always remember the advice he always told me: "The big gurus always say, breath. So always remember to breath Lila." He always called me that, Lila. I dunno why tho.