Lilith is going to a new school. Soon she will meet a teacher just in her interest. The fame of Eric Whitney, the attractive physics and music teacher grew and they made their way to New Orleans. The $uicideboy$ a rising rap duo is helping him exten...
Eric's POV: My Body is crashing in those pillows like they are made of glass. Like you took the bedsheets and filled them with needles, glass and knives, poking into my body and surrounding me with pain. I've been living in hell lately. At least that's what it feels like. It's hot like California turned into deathvalley and no water to be seen. I've been living in death lately. It's like the world turned against me. The shining glamorous live I hoped to find in LA turned into a homeless drug addict. Around every corner I see it. I see the real pain of the city. The real people of Los Angeles. Those who were once dreamers. Those who had plans like me. Those who are in their depth of life like me. All those people reflect the reality. The real reality of the city of angels. I've been standing on this edge of the huge factory build. Falling down. It's like rock bottom hit me. I fell with my face first. Then my ribcage crushed on the concrete floor and last my legs fell onto my lifeless body. That's how I felt these days. The fall didn't take long. Some say a few seconds, some say weeks. I don't even know what month it is. All I know is how to get drugs, some money for food and alcohol. But I stopped drowning my sorrows some days ago. At least it feels like that. Could've been a day, or seven or even just three hours. My touch of time is lost, gone simple as that. It's not there, not reachable or nearly to be seen. But I feel the sobriety. It's awfully crushing, desperate and somewhat feels like dying. At least that's how I imagine it. I don't wanna go this way. Not the... painful way. I open my eyes and the world is spinning again. the ceiling of the old factory is brownish with a few spots. No one ever painted this room. It's cold but at the same time I'm sweating so hard that I almost slip off the warm leather couch. I turn my head and feel an instant urge to puke. Not even a thought later I emptied my stomach on the cold concrete floor. Again, this feels like hell and it's been going like this for ages. My whole body is shivering and my hands aren't even strong enough to hold a bottle of water. My legs take me to the bathroom where I just head to the toilet and continue like I started the day. I didn't care or notice a young man standing in there brushing his teeth until I heard this light voice crack open: „Yo Ghoste, I don't wanna be mean or anything but I was here first and this is my apartment. I could've been showering. At least nock. And don't puke in the shower. We have a toilet right next to it!" All those words sounded gibberish. I didn't get what that man said. I didn't even recognize the voice. But when he came to help me, I noticed. He took my long hair that still had crusted puke in it and pushed me over to the toilet. I felt miserable. I don't know how I could still puke after days of not eating properly. The few chips and typical party food I had must've been gone since at least 7 purges. The young slim man, that's so heavily tatted rubs my back. It's peep. I really like him, he offered me a home and he was just as fucked up as I was. Just I'm trying to cut. And he is prolly high as a kite.
15 days later
Finally, the first day not waking up with a fountain coming out of my mouth. The first day without a headache, at least not as bad as usual. And finally I get up with a thought different from what pills I swallow first. But then being reminded that I was on a trial. I'm proud of myself. I still look pretty fucked up but I go into the bathroom and take a mirror selfie so that I can post something again. The dark circles under my eyes tell enough stories. My cheeks are fallen together and my hands are bony. I go on Instagram and check what's on my feed.
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Lil.but.not.so.little: F*ck birthday cake. Three comments Suicideleopard: fucking censorship. Suicideleopard: poor cake... yungxrist: we'll be havin' fun with ya tonight baby!
Fuck. It's her birthday. And with what is he going to have fucking fun with? Fucking my girl? Nah. I can't let him have her. I need something super romantic... I need to surprise her with something so romantic that she just jumps back into my arms... but I neither have money, nor am I in range of her... "Yo Ghoste tonight is our show in DTLA, you gotta start preparing your set and shit!" Peep sneaked into the living-room already busy for tonight. Maybe I should concentrate on that first...
Lilith's POV: "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. Happy Birthday Lilith! Happy birthday to you!" Ruby and Scrim sang in front of me with a big cake in their hands. My face first is in stare, at least 1775 calories are in that cake, but then I smile, even though it was kind of fake. But even the thought of them making a cake for me was making me so happy! "Thank you guys! That was not... You didn't have to do this you know?" My face blushed and they put the cake aside and pulled me into a hug: "well to us your a family member, like a sister and that's what you do in a good family!" Ruby had this adorable smile on his face, it was heartbreaking to know that ten horses won't get me to eat that cake... A good family... what is that even... what is a good family? Did I have one? I mean we never lived in the projects or anything but... apparently you don't need money for love and affection. You just need friendship, some kind of bond and care. You need to care for those in your family. You don't need to be related or in love to be in a family. You just need some big coincidence to find those who belong in your family. A small tear runs down my face: "thanks guys. I really appreciate it! You... am... am I in... your family now? I... I mean you just said..." I was insecure about the question I just asked but Ruby just grinned: "hell yeah! O'course you are! You're a New Orleans gurl now! Seventh ward baby! And if anyone wants to kick ya ass after school. Scrim and I will come to beat that motherfucker up!" His words were charming, even though it was a big thing for me. For them it was honesty and loyalty. In the ward you get beaten up pretty fast. Or stabbed. Or shot. And in their life they have definitely beaten up some people. They're not joking around. At least Ruby's not.
At school this girl Vendetta or Violin or whatever, she is literally following me the whole day. Like first she threatens me and now she wanna become friends? It's so frustrating and I see something in her sight. It's somewhat familiar but at the same time I see a huge question mark in her face. I see the answer to everything but still nothing. It's like two worlds met and suddenly everything becomes unknown. And I don't get smart out of that smirky smile and those dead eyes. She looks perfect, everything about her looks perfect. She has beautiful hair and her body is slim but still very trained. Literally the dream of every girl. She has inviting hips and a laughter like a goddess. Every move she makes seems so planned out and the way she moves is incredible. So motorized, like she trained years just being this elegant. Even though sometimes she seems almost military. Maybe she has been to one of those military schools... But I don't know. The day passed quite fast and I haven't met a lot of people yet. At least it's not that easy to me to make friends. During lunch break I walk around the school to find a corner to smoke in. This time I won't ask a teacher... Right behind the sports hall in the shadow of the grand stand I find my spot. It's very quite because everyone's in the cafeteria eating their lunch. I skipped... again. I lit up my cigarette and sat down on the steel beam under the grand stand. It's one of those places where you hid from the teacher for a few rounds when it was time for running again. I smirked at the thought, I haven't attended gym class in like... two years?! Damn I'm a lazy piece of shit. I won't be able to run even half of a mile.
*Yo that's it for today. Can we please appreciate the fact, that Ruby posted on Instagram?! Like dang boi, he doesn't even fuckin exist!? Plus „materialism as a means to an end" is a hell of a fuckin banger. Go check it out. Go listen to it. Now. Byeee*
