thirty-three

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Harry's POV

I'm unsure what to do.

Do I speak or let Parker do all of the talking? I've never talked to a grave before. The last time I was in a cemetery was for my parents funeral, I never went back after that. I had to move on from them. Death is inevitable and once you die no one really remembers you.

When Parker sits down in front of the headstone speaking so shakily that the words that sound like they are breaking her heart, "hi Birdie, I'd like you to meet someone."

She looks up at me with a faint smile before diverting her attention back to the grave. I take the chance to read it carefully.

Robin "Birdie" Owens. A loving mother and grandmother. The Nightingale we needed in our lives.

Birdie must be the Nightingale in Parker's letters, at least that makes the most sense. As I stand awkwardly next to Parker, my hands behind my back as I shift my weight back and forth between my feet, I'm still unsure of what I do.

"Carolina, what do I do?" I faintly question. I don't know why I'm talking so quietly.

"Well whatever feels best. If it's too weird for you to talk to her then just talk to me, or lay down and talk to the sky. Harry you do what your gut tells you to do."

I nod at her in response and decide to sit next to her on the grass. I keep reminding myself that this is for Parker. This is important to her.

"Hello, my name is Harry. Carolina, fuck I mean Parker has talked about you a lot, all good things of course." I say as I stare at the headstone. I don't understand why this is making me so uncomfortable.

Parker seems to have noticed my uneasiness and takes over for me. "Harry is my boyfriend now. Not much has changed since I had told you about him. We are still in an unpredictable situation and seeing you probably isn't the smartest choice but I think we both kind of needed it. I finally told him that I love him. I'm hoping that you checked in on his parents for him."

"You asked her to check in on my parents? Why?"

"Well they are important to you which makes them important to me. Plus I think you needed to know they are still watching over you. I just asked her to have them send you a little message, nothing too crazy, just something small."

I just stare at the soft features of her face, a face that has gone through so much pain. It's inspiring how strong she is even after everything she has gone through, how much she has grown. I told her that as long as I was here on earth nothing would hurt her and I vow to keep that promise.

Your true motives tend to change once you love someone. Maybe if I just tell her the truth she will forgive me for my sins. I would get down on my knees and beg her for forgiveness and tell her that what I wanted before is not what I want now. I wanted power, control and freedom. There was always word floating around that Howard had a daughter, everyone knew she existed they just didn't know who or where she was. Howard has a lot of power in the crime world and after doing multiple hits for him over the years I gained his trust. Before I got her file I had name dropped her in a meeting with Howard and his reaction alone was enough to tell me I was right. If she worked for him on his real business then I would've known and it never made since why he would only meet with her until I put 2 and 2 together.

Howard was right about people marrying her for power, for that direct in on the business. It's the real reason why I won't because I don't want to use her like that, anymore. The reason why I didn't read her file is because I didn't want to know everything about her, I wanted to know on her terms. I care about her too much now. I was never interested in the idea of marriage but when it's something you can never have because of guilt, it really makes you want it. Obviously even if it was a possibility I wouldn't want to do it now but fuck maybe 2 or 3 years from now it would be nice.

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