fifty-seven

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Ringing and buzzing. That's the noise that echoes throughout my sleeping mind. I can't tell where it's coming from but it's here and I want it to stop, begging for it to stop. That's when I get a swift kick to my legs causing me to jump up, squinting my eyes at the bright light being held up in front of my face.

"What?" I groggily question Callie who's holding the bright light in my face.

"Your phone. It's been ringing non stop for like 10 minutes, please shut it up." She waves my phone in my face with an annoyed look plastered on her face.

I grab it from her, answer the phone and use my free hand to rub my eyes as I tiredly speak into the phone, "hello?"

"Parker? Are you okay? I've been calling you for 10 minutes, you nearly gave me a heart attack!" Harry's panicked voice blares through the phone causing me to pull the phone away from my ear a bit, the loud volume being too much right now.

"I'm fine Harry. I was sleeping. That's why I wasn't answering, it's like 4 in the morning." I stretch out my stiff body due to falling asleep on the couch and stand to move this conversation out to the backyard.

"I thought something happened to you." Harry takes a breath of relief as I step out into the backyard.

"Nothing happened to me, Harry. Everyone is fine, you repeatedly calling me actually woke Callie up."

"Sorry this time difference has me all messed up. I miss you already."

"I miss you too. Did you guys just land?"

"No, we landed at 5 in the morning. It's noon here now and I haven't slept because I have to get used to the time difference. I'm exhausted."

"You should take a nap or something, Harry. You need to take care of yourself and not sleeping is doing the opposite." I deadpan with a yawn.

"I would love to take a nap. I tried to earlier but couldn't fall asleep. I'm too stressed out."

"So you called me." I can't help the small smile that keeps up on my lips. I will never get tired of this man.

"So I called you..." He trails off before the sound of a lighter flicking faintly comes through the phone. I hear him deeply inhale before he continues to talk though his voice is a bit muffled due to the cigarette smoke I assume is filling his lungs. "It's really hard to be away from you. Especially with Brent poking around, I should've just turned this hit down. I don't even know why I took it. Maybe just to keep things normal but fuck I'm really regretting it."

"You took it because that's your job baby. It is what it is, you know. Like yes it sucks that we have to be apart especially at a time like this but everything will be okay. We'll be alright." I try to soothe his worrying but something in me is just screaming that no matter what I say he will still have anxiety so I try to think of a different solution. "Can I read you something?"

"What?" He asks.

"Can I read you something? To take your mind off of everything, even if it's just for a moment."

"I'd love that."

"Okay I'm gonna leave my phone out here and grab my journal really quick."

"Leave it where?"

"In the backyard."

Harry laughs a bit, "nonsense, bring me with you and read on the balcony."

"So bossy." I roll my eyes but bring my phone with me back through the house. I grab my journal off the nightstand and walk out onto the balcony. I get comfortable in the chair I'm sitting in before flipping through the pages and finding a letter to Harry. "Okay this one is from when I was in rehab so it's a little old. I hope that's okay."

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