The October Amaryllis

Chapter 23 - March 13th, 1931 - 4:11 P.M.

"May I please go to the bathroom?" I asked the first doctor that I saw.

"I'm not stopping you, am I?" he asked, lighting up a Camel cigarette and casually blowing the resulting smoke right into my face. My eyes stung like hell, and I could feel my body slowly dying.

Nice one, doc.

Walking to the bathroom felt bizarre as if someone had suddenly turned the gravity up 800%; I can't describe it for the life of me, but it was as if I was on a different planet. It took all of my strength to move my legs to the bathroom; it was almost as if I had forgotten how to walk.

I feel like I'm carrying weights on my ankles!

Once I finally went inside, I locked the door and leaned my head against the wall to not seize out on the floor and hit my head repeatedly. I already had enough brain trauma as it was; getting even more wouldn't do me any good.

Am I making the right choice here? Is this the better or worse one? Oh, I am a fool for doing this repeatedly. When will I ever learn?

I felt my heart nearly stop from panicking so hard and told myself to calm down to no avail. I ended up biting a knuckle hard enough to make it bleed to calm myself down.

Travel to May 18th, 2020 - 3:37 A.M.

This time was even worse somehow as it turned into a complete and utter nightmare. I witnessed the walls before me turn into the bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki with civilians running away from atomic explosions and evaporating into nothingness. I saw them look directly at me in fear as if I was somehow responsible for their atrocities. I wanted to scream so badly at that moment, but I knew that I had to stay quiet for this plan to work.

This is the definition of torture; I can only watch this atrocity that I have created. When I die, I hope they'll bury me somewhere in a goddamn landfill. This is what I deserve. I am the dark side of the moon. Come to think of it; it's all dark...

The walls then bled, and I could see the crimson liquid pour down from every angle until there was a puddle of it right next to me. I felt it to see if it was real or not, but my fingers went right through it and were not stained in the least. What happened next was even worse.

I bit my lip until it nearly bled, but the horror only continued. I experienced next what looked like the Axis and their troops fighting against the Allies with more bloodshed than a man ever should have to witness. I closed my eyes to escape the horror, but it would simply play inside my eyelids like some sort of snuff film. Bullets would whizz past me, and I ducked every time I heard them out of pure fear. I would constantly hear German and Italian sentences being shouted out intermingled with the cries of agony. I genuinely felt at that moment that I was about to go insane, and let me tell you, once you lose your mind, you never go back to being normal.

This went on for what felt like hours but was only around two minutes. It was as if time itself had slowed down to a crawl just to agonize me. Time moved very slowly, and every second felt like a decade. I worried at that moment that I would forever be stuck like this in agony, with scenes of war playing out in my head.

Then, without warning, I felt the world shake around me and found myself in the hospital again.

Ain't that something?