The October Amaryllis

Chapter 77 - June 18th, 2020 - 10:49 A.M.

I knew I was beyond redemption when I time-traveled again on June 18th, 2020. The days leading up to it had one theme in common. I wanted to learn more about Malcolm, so I asked my mother to tell me everything she knew about him. Every day I would learn something new and write it down in a journal to preserve his memory until the urge to time travel became overwhelming.

I still remember what it was like when I finally broke down and decided to time travel, I had begun to sweat profusely, and my hands shook like mad. I had never felt such a strong temptation in my life to do something and eventually said screw it and proceeded to ruin my life even more. I'll admit, I'm highly impulsive and don't think about the consequences of my actions.

Before I get into that, let's talk about Madelynn. We became a thing and ended up watching Inception, which she loved. Her only complaint was that the plot was overly confusing, which I can agree with to an extent. While we were watching it, we cuddled nonstop, and for once in my life, I felt like I was on drugs despite never taking any in my life. (coffee and tea don't count) The whole time I just remember having a massive grin on my face, and the thought of time traveling was at that moment at the very back of my mind. It seemed like everything was perfect until it wasn't... That's the problem with good things; sooner or later, something or someone always comes to ruin them.

It all started out just like any other day; I asked for information about Malcolm from my mom, who told me the date that he ended his life, March 16th, 2018. Right away, my brain started screwing with me, and a million voices told me to time travel and save him. I swear I heard Malcolm's voice say out loud, "Save me, Clive."

As I went to my room to write down the latest piece of information about him, my head started spinning, and I started shaking; the urge to time travel became so powerful that it had actually hurt physically. It was as if I was in withdrawal from time traveling, and the only way to cure it would be to mess with time some more. Do it, the voices in my head practically begged.

Before I knew it, I whispered March 16th, 3:00 P.M. 2018, half an hour before he was estimated to have killed himself. Friday was a short day for us in school, so they let us out early, at around noon.

All around me, the walls melted, and I witnessed Maynard's face on them, pointing and laughing at me as if to say, "You screwed up again, friend." Everywhere I looked, I would see his wretched face mocking me. I practically punched my walls at that moment; the only thing that stopped me was being unable to walk properly again due to the massively increased weight of my body. I felt as if I weighed a thousand pounds. I also experienced a metallic taste in my mouth; this was the most uncomfortable part of the experience.

The room became darker and darker every time Maynard showed up until it became virtually pitch-black. Around me, I saw transparent wisps resembling spiders flying in the air that swirled and curled before disappearing. The surrounding walls became coated with this gray transparent substance that resembled a jellyfish, and I witnessed visions of CONIUM destroying the future. I was beyond tempted to cry at that moment, but no tears came; it was as if the visions blocked some biological aspect of me. That's the worst feeling, when you cry so much that you run out of tears.

The rushing sound that came was deafening, and when it was finally over, I found myself in a school bathroom on the last day of Malcolm's life.

Time to save my best friend.