The October Amaryllis

Chapter 46 - May 20th, 2020 10:45 A.M.

Our first group of the day was on eating disorders, a depressing subject but nevertheless a crucial one. For once, I was actually interested in a group.

"Has anyone here ever struggled with an eating disorder?" the counselor asked.

Ashley raised her hand, and I admit it surprised me; she was the last person I expected to have an eating disorder.

"Which one, dear?" the counselor asked.

"I struggled with bulimia for years, I started purging at restaurants, and it gradually just got worse and worse. I'm a lot better now."

I would have never guessed she'd gone through bulimia by looking at her. I guess looks really can be deceiving.

"Today, we will be going over bulimia, binge eating, and anorexia; if it's okay, could you also occasionally give us your experiences with bulimia?" the counselor asked Ashley.

"Sure thing," she replied, nodding.

"A common myth many people have is that people with eating disorders all look sick. This isn't the truth; there are many unseen sufferers of eating disorders," she said, showing us photographs of some people with eating disorders. Most of them looked completely healthy, and I would have never guessed that they had struggled with such horrible trials.

I wonder how many people in my high school suffered from eating disorders with no one knowing. That's so scary to think about...

"A second myth that is unfortunately quite common is that families are responsible for eating disorders. We know currently that a combination of genes and environmental factors causes eating disorders. Did your parents feel responsible when they found you struggling with bulimia, Ashley?"

"My mother did; she pretty much blamed it all on herself even though there was no way it could have been her fault. I think it's because she felt guilty over what I did," she replied, yawning.

"Well... thankfully, everything is alright now. A third myth that often pops up is that the disorder is a choice; this isn't true. No one would purposely go through something like that. To say that it's someone's choice is unfair. Were you ever told that it was your choice?"

"Yes! I was constantly told that. You can't just stop is the thing; it got to the point where my dental enamel was eroding from purging so much. I'm sorry if that last part was too much," she replied with a frown.

"No worries, and now we'll be on our way to the final myth of eating disorders, which is that it only affects white upper-middle-class girls. This is, of course, blatantly false, as even boys can struggle with eating disorders. Saying that it only affects one group can prevent people from getting the help that they need. When did you finally decide to get help, Ashley?"

"I decided to get help when it became obvious to my parents that I had bulimia; I mean, I was constantly throwing up and losing weight as time went on. They caught on and saved me just in time, the hospital said."

"You are so inspirational to me; I mean it," I said with a genuine smile. Hearing about her struggles and how she beat them almost made me shed a tear.

"Aww, of course," she replied, red as a beet.

"Now, we will explore anorexia a bit. The word comes from orexis, which means appetite in Greek, and an which means without. It wasn't until the late 19th century that anorexia became widely accepted and recognized. I remember when I was little watching Karen Carpenter on the television and just being in awe of her beauty; at the time, however, there wasn't much information on anorexia, unfortunately. I remember it was after her death that people got to learn about it; it was very tragic what had happened to her," the counselor said, fighting back emotions.

The Carpenters are nice. I like their cover of Calling Occupants of Interplanetary Craft.

"I used to listen to The Carpenters all the time, and I never knew about Karen having anorexia; it's crazy how much you can learn," Morgan replied with his jaw dropped.

"Yes, it certainly is. Now we're going to talk about binge-eating. Binge-eating is far more common than people think. The disorder is characterized by frequently binging on food and feeling that your eating habits are out of control."

Wait, I have that!

"I think I have the disorder now that I think about it," I replied, shocked that I had struggled for so long without knowing that I was going through an eating disorder.

"You do? May I ask for your experience, Clive?" the counselor asked.

"Sure, I binge on food often to where it hurts. And even when I'm not full or hungry, I still eat. I feel so ashamed of it, and yet I had never considered telling anyone until now," I replied, feeling great that I got my struggles off my mind.

"Don't be ashamed that you have it; it's common to feel shame, but with treatment, you can get the help you need," she replied with a supportive smile.

I was about to thank her for her words when suddenly, I blacked out.

When I awoke, I found myself in the dystopian future I had seen before.

Hell welcomes my return...