Alone

Chapter 50

a year later

omniscient

What was the point? She wondered, but didn't bother voicing it out.

Her head lay on the headrest of the couch as she stared up at the whitewashed ceiling with intricate designs.

Was it really worth it?

Trying to find words to describe what she was feeling, it proved difficult to articulate what she wanted to say, so she just remained silent.

She remained uncommunicative and all alone with her thoughts, something that she had tried to avoid for a long time, but now she didn't mind. She didn't mind at all.

In fact, she rather liked being alone with her thoughts. At least it served as an escape from this cruel world. 

A sigh pulled her out of her musings. "Elizabeth, I'm trying to help you. But I can't do that if you don't let me help you." Dr. Anna observed the troubled girl.

"I don't know." She answered flatly.

"What don't you know? Tell me whatever is going on in that mind, even if it sounds ridiculous to you." The therapist tried coaxing her into talking.

She had been to multiple sessions, but had made no progress. Every time she came, it was the same routine all over again. She walked into the room, dropped off either by her friends or brother. Face devoid of any emotion, almost lifeless.

Every question was shot down with either no reply or just a tilt of her head with no real answer. This was one of the very few times she had answered.

"Everything's a mess. I don't know what I'm feeling. There's this darkness that doesn't ever go away." She answered in a mundane tone.

"Elizabeth." Her dull eyes fell on the concerned woman.

She found it difficult to understand why the woman was so concerned about her. Why her friends and brother were so worried about her? She clearly didn't deserve their care; she was just unnecessarily weighing them down.

She knew that she was a burden to them as much as they tried to hide the fact that she was, indeed, not a burden as she had been told by them, countless times.

When they had to leave school or work especially to drop her off for her therapy sessions or persuade her out of her apartment so she wouldn't stay there, holed up. When she had nightmares and would wake up screaming and shaking, they would rush to help her.

Unconcerned about their own sleep that was disrupted because of her.

And as much as they tried to conceal their weariness, she could see right through their façade.

"I want you to do something for me." Dr. Anna asked gently, like she was walking on eggshells.

Everyone seemed to be doing that around her, treating her like she was fragile.

"I want you to write down whatever you want in this book." She said, holding out a book to her. "Any emotion, any thought, any feeling, or something that you want to do during the day. Note them all down. Can you do that?" 

Dainty wrists held onto the black book. She got a nod in response.

Satisfied with it, she said, "Okay, I think that's about it for today. Who's coming to pick you up?"

She had good people surrounding her, their support and care for her didn't go unnoticed by the doctor. She was glad Elizabeth had a wonderful set of people looking after her, ultimately they might be the only people that could help her get through this.

"No one is."

Today was the first time she had managed to convince them to let her walk back by herself. With the excuse of exercise, she got her way. The clinic wasn't far away from her apartment anyways. 

Someone was always with her, and she needed space. As much as she appreciated all that they did for her, she wanted to be alone without any of them breathing down her neck.

"Do you want me to drop you? There's quite some time before the next patient comes." The girl didn't deserve what she went through. 

"No, it's fine. Thank you." She said softly before leaving.

The therapist stared after the girl, hoping that one day she would overcome all her demons and come out stronger.

A chilly breeze brushed past her as she stepped out. Breathing in the fresh air, she relaxed a little. She sent Christian a quick text informing him that she was taking a little detour and she would most likely be late. She didn't want them to worry more than they already did. 

Nature had a calming effect on her; it always did.

Her mind reverted back to that day. As much as she didn't want to remember what had happened, it was a constant reminder of just how shattered she was. 

She recalled nothing about the day she was kidnapped except until the time he had found her. Nevertheless, she didn't need to remember anything because the bruises and scars that marked her body were enough of a reminder.

Her mind had repressed all those awful memories, and she was grateful for it because she didn't want to remember anything that happened. But that heavy weight on her chest remained and had left her crushed.

She remembered his arms holding her protectively and promising to keep her safe from everything. She heard his voice, commanding her to keep her eyes open and on him.

At first she thought she was dreaming a cruel dream, but the fear and panic in his eyes made it all very real. 

She recalled the twin's were struggling with something, the two boys who unknowingly saved her from herself.

She was so grateful for them and knew that without them she wouldn't have been here. If she had to opportunity to change anything in her life, she wouldn't because then she wouldn't have met them or him. They were her chosen family.

Her eyes fell back on him, the distress in his eyes made her frown. He shouldn't have to be so worried about her.

He was saying something, but the ringing in her ear was louder and drowned everything out. She was slowly losing her will to live, but he made her want to fight till her last breath and that's what she was going to do.

Her eyes caught on to something that he was saying. There was a burst of feelings within her that overpowered the pain for a few seconds as she processed what he said, but he was too late.

Before her time ran out, she whispered the words back as she felt the remnants of her energy drain out of her. 

She could hear voices all around, voices of whom she held close to her heart. She called out to them, but they never answered. Though they stayed by her side whenever they could.

Apart from them, she could feel his presence beside her all the time; he never left her side. He stayed with her until the moment she awoke. 

She never saw him after that.

Her friends and brother were overjoyed when they saw that she was awake which resulted in a few tears being shed among all of them. She was put into a medically induced coma so her body as well as her brain could recover from the profound trauma and injuries that were inflicted upon her.

The doctor read out a long list of injuries that were inflicted upon her body. Broken ribs, fractures, several concussions, dislocations, trauma.

After hearing the first few, she blocked out the rest of what was being said and stared out of the window. 

She didn't know what or how to feel. She did know one thing though; she shouldn't have been alive.