Alone

Chapter 31

Deafening silence blanketed us. Out of habit, I nervously twiddled with my fingers trying to decide what to say and hence break the awkward silence. This was so unlike us.

"So...?" Jacob said, trying to ease the awkward tension.

I needed to be straight with them otherwise we weren't going to get anywhere.

"Greyson told me everything."

Caleb looked like he expected it while Jacob's eyes widened in surprise.

"That's right." I said, my irritation getting the better of me. "He told me how you went to pick a fight with Christian." I pointed an accusing finger in Jacob's direction and he shrunk back when he heard the anger in my voice.

"What did you get out of it anyways? Are you satisfied now? The both of you dumbasses are lucky he didn't press charges. What exactly was going through your pea-sizes brain when you decided to throw fists Jacob? And Caleb, why the hell didn't you stop him? What were the both of you thinking?" My chest was heaving from the small outburst while the two of them sat quietly, like two little toddlers who were getting scolded.

"Liz, calm down." Jacob said with hesitation clear in his voice.

"Do not tell me to calm down. You better start talking or you can leave." Jacob flinched at my cold tone, but sat back with a sigh, running his hands through his hair absentmindedly.

"I was so mad after you told us about how he left you. He didn't know how much his absence affected you nor does he know what happened when he left you behind. I was furious at the fact that he thought he could waltz back into your life so easily. The next day, we met up with Greyson and asked him about what had happened at the hospital." He let out a deep breath.

"He told us about Christian and it didn't take long for us to piece together who he was. I know it was stupid of us to go and see him, but the adrenaline and my anger pushed me. I swear I just wanted to talk, but the moment I saw his face, I lost it. I'm so sorry. If I knew it was going to harm our friendship in any way, I wouldn't have punched him."

"Why did you think it was okay for you to do that without even telling me?"

"I know we were way out of line and we shouldn't have done that, but after hearing what you went through, it pained me to see you like that. He had to feel at least a minuscule of pain that you felt. We felt like shit after we hurt you, but I'm not sorry for punching him."

It was quiet as they gave me time to process everything. Jacob elbowed Caleb in the ribs making him yelp which brought my attention to them.

Caleb cleared his throat before speaking, "Elizabeth, I'm so fucking sorry for the bullshit I said that day. It was unquestionably untrue, and I let my anger control me. I was a fuck head for removing all my frustrations on you when you were just concerned for the both of us."

I could hear the genuineness in his tone and the fact that he still looked like shit. I realized what they did affected them too.

"It's okay." I said wearily. I didn't want to fight nor did I want to ignore them anymore. Not being able to talk to them was worse than fighting with them.

"No, it's not oka-"

"Jacob, please." I said exasperatedly. "I'm tired of arguing with the both of you. I forgive the both of you'll, but that doesn't mean what the both of you did was alright. I was definitely hurt by what Caleb said, but his words did hold truth. I keep letting my past control me by keeping my emotions locked up for fear of getting hurt, used and discarded. I didn't realize that, and in the process of doing that I also was hurting the both of you which is why..."

I took a deep breath before continuing, "Which is why I'm going to tell you everything about my past. I want you'll to know that I trust you and you can trust me too."

"Shit, Lizzy. You don't have to."

"No, Jacob. I want to. I need to tell someone and talking helps, right?" I said with a small smile.

They didn't object.

"I gather you already know Elizabeth Cooper isn't my real name. My real name is Alex White; I changed it when I moved here."

"Christian slipped up and told us your real name, the day we stormed his office. We figured he either changed his name, or you did."

I nodded and then proceeded to tell them everything about my past.

____________________

Both of them looked horrified and appalled as I was telling them what happened.

When I was finished, neither of them could look me in the eye. I don't think anyone would after hearing what I had to say.

Both of their heads were bowed, and I heard Jacob sniffling as he wiped away tears. My hands were in a fist, my fingernails digging into my palm. The pain didn't bring any relief to the pain I was feeling inside.

Reliving everything was so much worse than I had thought, but it was the first step in letting go.

Caleb got up and walked over to me, pulling me into a tight hug, he whispered how sorry he was for saying those things to me. I felt a few drops on my shoulder, Caleb was crying.

Caleb never cried.

He pulled away from the hug and wiped away the tears from my face.

After that, Jacob pulled me into another bone-crushing hug, "We are always going to be here for you, we aren't going anywhere." And I held onto him as tight as I could.

After the three of us had calmed down, we were sitting in silence when Jacob decided to speak up.

"So, do we call Alex or Elizabeth?"

I let out a much needed laugh at his question.

"You can call me Elizabeth." I said with a small smile on my face.

Getting up from the couch, Jacob clapped his hands demanding our attention.

"So Elizabeth, do you want to order in or go out?"

"You already know the answer."

"I guess we're ordering in then. So, what are your tastebuds craving for?"

"Chinese." Caleb and I said simultaneously. Looking at each other, we burst out laughing.

We ordered our food and spent the night enjoying ourselves just like before, like nothing had happened.