Trust me, I'm okay. (Frerard)

Chapter Seventeen: Now the Blue Ones Make Me Fall and the Red Ones Help Me Fly

Trigger warning, Gerard gets further into his addictions during this chapter.

Gerards POV:
I woke up, the early morning sunlight drifting through my sheer curtains and illuminating the room. I rolled over in my bed surveying the empty room. My "bed" was really just a mattress on the ground, but I liked it that way. It was weird, after all these years of waking up in a dark basement, I had light. But am I making the right choices? Am I really moving into this apartment to be with my teenage romance? I mean, what if Frank and I aren't meant to be? What if this is a huge mistake that we are making? I love Frank more than anything though, and I feel as if nothing could tear us apart, but I've been out of high school for only a few months and I feel as if Frank and I have lives revolving around each other. Everything we have is based off of one another and we somehow except that.
Maybe this is all just some high school fling that took to long to end.
Frank's POV:
I laid on my side, my face to the wall. I stared at all the small imperfections that adorned the ugly grey color. I didn't want to get out of bed. I wanted to stay here and sleep forever- what was even the point anymore? I didn't have Gerard, I couldn't even see him and I'm dying inside and out. I looked at my arms, scarred and ugly from years of abuse. I heard a loud bang sound on my door, I jumped out of my daze and mumbled a groan.
"Frank get out of bed." The foster care lady Mary said, with a sweet smile.
She was sweet yeah, but I was to miserable and busy drowning in my own pity. I got up, and looked at the calendar. It was to damn long until I was allowed to see Gerard. I needed him like I needed air..I missed him. Being away from Gerard was hell. I don't eat hardly at all, I spend most nights smoking or crying, and during the day I sit in my room strumming a guitar a fellow kid in here lent to me- his name was Ryan, a bit of your stereotypical gay, but that's alright because he had a decent sense in music taste.
Gerard's POV:
"C'mon Gee wake up. Let's make breakfast and finish unpacking." My younger brother said to me through my curtain walls. I stood up, pulling on yesterday's clothes and pulling my curtains aside. I surveyed the apartment in the morning sun, and decided I liked it a lot. I had a large wall of windows that lead to a small balcony, with not much of a view but I don't mind much. The kitchen was small, just a two and a half foot space of counter and a couple cabinets, but that was enough.
My furniture was simple, a small black sofa with a wood coffee table on a multicolored rug sat nicely in the corner of the apartment, my curtain wall dividing my "bedroom" from the rest of the apartment. I found the box labeled "kitchen", and rummaged through a couple plates and mugs to find a small coffee maker I found for $12 at a clearance rack. I plugged it in and proceeded to make my coffee.
~~~~~time skip to the next week~~~~~
Gerard's POV:
I lay on my small black sofa, staring into nowhere. A bottle of rum, pack of cigarettes and pills lay next to me keeping me company. I took a drag of the half smoked cigarette in my mouth, blowing the smoke into the air watching it fade away.
I haven't showered since Mikey went back home four days ago, I've eaten barely anything, and I've been living off of bitter rum and pills. All I wanted was for Frank to be back in my arms, to hold him again. I lifted my almost empty bottle of poison to my lips, cringing at the bitter taste. I felt the xanax I took start to kick in, and I slowly drifted to sleep.
~~~~~~~time skip a few hours~~~~~~
Gerard's POV:
I woke up to my phone buzzing, I picked it up without checking who it was.
"Hello?" I said, my voice raw and sore from so much alcohol.
"Gee? Are you okay?" I heard Frank's voice sound through the phone.
"Yeah yeah I'm okay. You?" I said as I sat up, clearing my throat and sticking a cigarette in my mouth.
"I'm okay I guess. I miss you."
"I miss you too Frank. Don't worry, soon we will be able to be with each other again."
"I know Gerard..but hey, I'm sorry I'm gunna have to cut tonight's call short..Ryan was gunna teach me some songs on guitar." Frank said sounding slightly more ecstatic.
"Okay, good night Frank. I love you."
"Love you too." He hung up the phone.
I looked at the time on my screen. it was 8:00. I had a few texts, some from Mikey, and a couple from Bert, a new..friend.
(A/N sorry Bert is ALWAYS the one to be in this position but it just works so well okay doN'T JUDGE ME)
'I'll be in your neck of the woods tonight, you need anything?'
I read the text, immediately responding.
'Yeah...the usual. Stop by at your leisure.'
I stood up, taking my empty alcohol bottles to the kitchen, putting them on the counter. I leaned on the counter, putting my head in my hands.
Was I actually doing this? I'm 18 and I moved out to live with my 17 year old boyfriend.
What the hell is wrong with me? What if something goes wrong and we have a falling out and then we break up I mean this could all just be some stupid high school fling...
Fuck.
Gerard stop.
I opened up a cabinet, pulling out a small plastic bag. I proceeded my way to the coffee table, pouring the white substance onto the table, dividing it into little lines.
Line after line my mind began to blur, my mind clouded with nothing but numbness.

A/N HEY GUYS IM SO FUCKING SORRY THIS TOOK FOREVER. WRITERS BLOCK IS A BITCH IM SORRY OKAY.
Anyways, I hate this chapter, but the story line is picking up again but tbh I actually have no idea where the story is going from here... I'll figure it out. But anyways, on Feb 28 I saw Frankie and it was actually like the best night of my whole god damn life. Frank started playing the intro to "she's the prettiest girl..." And I started sobbing so hard because I couldn't believe that I was actually seeing him and like- holy fuck that was my inspiration right there. After the concert I stood in line and met Derek from the homeless gospel choir (I'd highly recommend listening to him if you haven't he's rad af) and then I met Frank and he called me sweet and shook my hand and put his arm around my shoulder and I didn't cry but then I walked away and started crying. Anyways sorry I'm just still so happy I met my bby and like yeah. Long story short im sorry this took so long and it's shitty but I'll hopefully start a more regular upload schedule for this. Love you guys!!!! Thanks for all the amazing comments :)
- XØANG